Dearest sisters,<P>Thank you for the prayers. Tuesday night was a real turning point. The most intense part seems to be over. God has answered all my prayers.<P>My mom and sister sent me the most beautiful scrapbook!! Mom took the pictures we had, took pictures of all our keepsakes and events, and downloaded tons of email and stuff off the internet before she left us just two weeks ago. Everyone who has seen it asks how on earth they could possibly make it without just crying?! Because everyone who sees it cries on each page! <BR> <BR>Spent an hour and a half going through it yesterday morning with my friend Hannah and her friend. It is just an awesome memorial. Like Hannah's friend, a 60 yo grandmother, and special professional foster mom of premature and sick babies, said, it proves he was real, he was here and he was a treasured member of your family! Her concept of stillbirth was irrevocably changed by looking through this beautiful book. <P>Everything is there! The pictures, the birth, the prayers, the hand and footprints, the hairlocks, the death, the letters and emails, the family, the songs, keepsakes, the poetry, the hopes and dreams, the farewell, burial, condolences (even from MB) ... and more. I can always think of something we missed, like video recording the graveside service, but we did very well to get as much as we did.<BR> <BR>I am so grateful we had fair warning so we were prepared to produce this! Sharing it, having others acknowledge him and cry with me is very comforting and healing. <P>Charles has been right here giving me daily companionship and sorrowing with me for three weeks. That is why I couldn't pray. Everytime I opened up spiritually he was actually allowed to be here giving me love and sharing my grief. But I feel like his actual presence is starting to recede as our "due date" (tomorrow) approaches. The feelings with his <I>touch</I> were just extremely intense. Now he still gives me love I can feel, but there is less sorrowing and I am more able to rely on the Lord for support.<BR> <BR>Thanks again to all of you for your love, support and prayers. Praises be to the Father, Son and Holy Ghost! Amen.<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Thanks for sharing this my sister. My tears are flowing with you. How I wish I had done half of what you did when Tom died. Instead I hurried up and put everything away and emotionally buried my heart right next to my love for him. Now it is so painful to grieve in light of the stuff going on in this marriage. A real admonition to grief at the appropriate time so that it isn't so intense later.<P>Good job lady, welcome back. Missed you!

I am glad to hear that things are going well. <P>I made my Lauren a scrapbook also, but never had the chance to share it with family. What a precious gift your mother & sister gave you in that scrapbook of Charles!!!<P>Hugs--<P>Kathi

Dear Karenna,<P>Thank the Lord that He has given you such a wonderful and supportive family!<P>You are a very strong and courageous woman and I am sure that you have one more little angel in heaven to intercede for you and your family. God has plans for you and you know you are not alone.<P>God bless and heal you.<BR>Love<BR>weep

How incredibly beautiful, K. I wish I had had that sort of support when I lost my secondborn. I'm so sorry for your pain.<P>About 7 months after my daughter's death, I was alone, crying and praying, and then felt her presense and God's love. She gave me the knowledge that she was safe and happy and I could "move on". She led me to feel that the place she is in is beautiful and colorful, like the colors in my suncatcher and the rainbow colors in soapbubbles. I felt peace. Soon afterward my husband and son called me outside to look at a huge rainbow that seemed to end exactly in the woods next to our house. I still feel the awe.<P>Blessings on you and your family,<BR>J

Hi Karenna, just need to reply to Jenny, hence borrowing your thread.<P>Dear Jenny,<P>If you read the book "Visions behind the veil" (just misplaced it so I cannot find the name of the author), you would know that the lamp of God consists of 7 colours - yep - of the rainbow! It is not one golden or even white light.<P>Praise the Lord! He is indeed with you and your family. Your daughter is in a wonderful place with Jesus. How old was your daughter then? <P>Love<BR>weep<P>

double post--oops!<p>[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited December 15, 2000).]

Excuse us for borrowing your post, Karenna.<P>Weep, I've never heard of that book. I'll try looking it up at Amazon. I'm very interested, of course! My first daughter lived only about 10 minutes. She died of a fatal birth defect that was not detected during the pregnancy. (There were days early after her death where I felt her presence so strongly I was afraid to look for fear I'd see a "ghost"!) There were many events during that pregnancy and passing that convinced me God was right with us the whole time, caring about the smallest things.<P>Thanks,<BR>Jenny<BR>PS Amazon didn't have it. Is it out of print?<p>[This message has been edited by Jenny (edited December 15, 2000).]