Perhaps this would be better suited to the prayer request board, but I will ask here as well.<P>A few months ago my very close friend started going through some personal trials through work and church situations. Her husband stood beside her and backed her up thoroughly. They were a great comfort to me in my troubles last year too. She is tremendously spiritual and a very strong Christian. But she began to withdraw from me and the whole world as the pressures built up. At this time she is completely cocooned. She goes to work, she teaches music classes and leads a choir at church. Tries to cope with a lot of disloyalty in her supposed friends and ... And sleeps. <P>I almost feel as if she has died as far as the loss in my life goes. For a while I thought I would never see her or be able to speak to her again. Then she finally responded to an e-mail. <P>Last week she discovered that her husband (in his mid-thirties) has stage two melanoma. <P>She is getting bitter. This is what breaks my heart. She may be afraid that no one will help her or sympathize.<P><BR>Please pray for Patti that she won't turn bitter, but will take comfort from God and from her true friends. Pray for her husband that he will be healed and comforted in his treatments. And pray that they will both have strength to let their friends know and accept help and love. <P>Question:<P>Should I tell our pastor about the cancer diagnosis even though she asked me not to? He is a stalwart volunteer in our congregation, the one other people turn to for help. He doesn't want pity.

Hi my sister,<P>In my opinion, I would not tell the pastor what she has asked you not to tell. I would stand by her side in presence and in prayer like sticky rice, showing her your faithfulness just as she was faithful to you in your hard times and just as you know God was faithful to you even though Charles was taken from you at birth. Whether or not the melanoma is terminal, you can identifiy with her pain as when you recived Charles' diagnosis, the emptyness you felt, the pain as you learned more and more about the syndrome, especially when you felt him move in your body. <P>God allowed an incredible thing in your life Karenna and perhaps it was for this very purpose, to comfort your friend as you were comforted. You of all people understand that if you don't talk about it, then perhaps it isn't true. What a trial this is for your friend! We picture living with our spouses 'til death do us part as when we are in our 80's not 30's. We picture our children outliving us. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> 2CO 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, [4] who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. [5] For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. [6] If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. [7] And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I will keep you in prayer. You can write me at home too if you need to.<P>Father God, bless this daugher of yours and give her your wisdom that she might nurture and comfort Patty during these hard times. Increase her creativity that she might find ways to bring laughter to ease the pain, to share the blessings she has received out of her hardships. Father reveal yourself in a special way today, that they might see you differently, that understanding might be increased and that you would be glorified in their lives as they go through this trial. IJN, Amen.

Karenna,<P>I am prying for Patti and her husband, and for her and your's relationship.<P>hw

I inserted myself back into their presence today. Thank you so much for your prayers. Good thing we left the pastor out of it!! That would have been a terrible mistake, and I just found out why.<P>I bought two huge grocery bags full of fruit and a get well card and hauled them over to their doorstep this evening, unannounced and uninvited. Had a great cry with them. He is having the big surgery just a few hours from now. Patti just had (another) miscarriage last month. I thought about sticking by her like sticky rice. Great image! That is what it takes. The Lord had to be speaking, because I'm usually the last person to think of gifts, nurturing actions etc. Thanks for the spur, SueB. You were right on, as usual.<P>Keep praying for them!

Great job Karenna! Isn't He just awesome!<P>Father, bless the surgeon's hand this morning and pour your comfort and peace that surpasses all understanding on Patti and Karenna as they await the outcome. Continue to give Karenna wisdom in the words that come from her mouth today. Let her gentleness be evident to all. IJN, Amen.

Karenna,<BR>It has been over a month since the last post. Can you tell us how your friend is?

The doctor thinks he "probably" got all the cancer, but they will decide whether to do chemo or something by next week. <P>Patti is still coccooning. Barely enough energy for work and survival basics. She is not reaching out at all. I am walking a tightrope trying not to bother her or neglect her, and still be supportive. I miss her.