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I'm mad at me.<p>This week ***should*** have been a good week:
  • H went on day shift
  • I received a gift from a lovely fellow-MB'er, that book, "Praying with Katie" and some bath stuffies and neato other little "care package" type things
  • Got an uplifting letter from my oldest daughter
  • H found out some decent news from immigration
  • I joined an online Al-anon group, asked someone I trust to be my sponsor (she accepted) and am working on Step One
<p>All this happened last week... I think I should be pretty happy -- content, at LEAST. <p>So what happens? I get horrid asthma, a migraine that has lasted four days and I *****still***** have it after taking so many of the "big meds" that I'm sick (we're talking prescription here), and my period's coming, so I'm overly emotional and weepy (good for the migraine - NOT! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] )... in short, I am a mess.<p>Okay, so am I just a Drama Queen, or is this real? Do I have any control over it? Should I just let go? (Yes, easier said than done, I'm afraid)<p>In the midst of all this good news did come some disturbing news... a little problem with my son's Homebound Program (you remember what I went through to get him to that point), My ex won't speak to me at all anymore, so no "team effort" for my son, and my H's son was caught stealing this week, which doesn't surprise me because he's been on a downhill slope since before I got here a year ago, but it's rough on my H, of course, and ultimately on me too... <p>As a little side note of disappointment, I went to the Used Book Store to try and find the Surrendered Wife, Power of a Praying Wife, and an Al-anon book -- none there. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] They are $20+ each at the new book store. Impossible right now. <p>My H says I can have five good things happen and one bad and I concentrate on the one bad thing. He's right. I do it here, on MB too. I can get 25 supportive messages and one person says, "You're wrong, you're a bad mother, you don't belong here" and BAM!, emotionally I'm in the toilet.<p>I know I need to give it to God. The first step, the EASY one, is admitting my life is unmanageable... I can't see to do it. Clearly, it IS, why is this so difficult??<p>I know I'm a worn-out record and I'm even sick of listening to me... be patient with me, and kind too... I so desperately need that right now.<p>Love, Sheryl

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Okay I'll pray for you, Sheryl. <p>You are taking baby steps and your hubby is helping you - that is good.<p>I'm gonna start a thread - after a little while, I am soooo down right now.... uggh. H is out riding his 3 wheeler so I am finally going to hop in the bath.<p>God Bless You
TnT

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Hi Sheryl,<p>You know not putting you in the same catogory as Tony but he tends to focus on the negative too. It is hard on me because I really want to see the positive in our life right now not the negative.<p>This is what I do. I mention everything I/we should be greatful for. I mean everything. I then only allow us to focus on the good in our lives. Because life is so difficult right now and adding extra worries when there is no control is just not going to help either of us. <p>So when ever I think about something negative I go down my grocery list of all the wonderful things in my life at this time. Maybe give it a try.

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Oh boy, my dear friends, we're all in the same kinda-wobbly boat, aren't we? [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I will pray for you (well, I do anyway!) and you continue to pray for me, okay???<p>Gosh, I want my life to be good and pure and lovely... wanting does not make it so though, so I need to do some work, don't I?<p>My headache is a dull pinpoint of pain right now (Thank you Jesus) and I've taken the last of my big-gun meds, so I pray that it STAYS AWAY FOR GOOD!!!! Pain, pain, go away!!!!<p>Love you you both,
Sheryl

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Maybe you can think of it this way... you know you're on the right track when the enemy tries to pull you off course. You are under attack! Don't be discouraged. Put on your spiritual armor and tell that enemy to go away!

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Hi LH,<p>Oh MAN!! I know you're right ... I know it in my heart... I used to read Ephesians daily and "put on my armour" but have long-ago stopped. <p>I suspect that much of my problem is the guilt that is **still** eating me up inside. I didn't want to leave my past-marriage, but knew that I would have a nervous breakdown if I didn't get out. I do NOT say that flippantly, I am deadly serious. Plus, my ex was having his last affairs with church-ladies, and I had grown bitter with the things of God. Not God's fault, but there you have it.<p>Yes, I am finding my way back, but the enemy is veeeery busy, isn't he?<p>Also, I am somewhat struggling with my moral fiber in all areas... I have had some lively discussions on EN re: porn, for example. I feel that what two consenting adults do in their own bedroom (you know the rest, blah, blah, blah)... and now I'm questioning that too... that's just one thing that's got me to thinking... have I grown so far that I can't see the line? <p>Okay, just musings for a Sunday afternoon...<p>Thanks for the reply that REALLY made me think again!!<p>[ October 28, 2001: Message edited by: Nyneve ]</p>

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So have you read the book that came in your care package? How about a book review for the rest of us?

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Oh LH, <p>Yes, I will come back with a book review -- it is AWESOME!!<p>I just don't have the ability to do it at this moment... I don't want to give it only half my head, as I do sometimes when writing replies [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] (kidding, honest!!)... my step-daughter is sitting here by me, and we're talking, and I'm having some trouble concentrating... but... tomorrow, I will be back with a book review, and a few quotes too. <p>This little book (which I'm buying EVERYONE for Christmas) has changed me...

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Sheryl
I don't have time right now - but I will sometime this week find some time to do this.
I ran across a web-site that talked about divorce and remarriage - in biblical terms. I didn't completely agree with everything this person believed on all the other issues he wrote about, but I think he hit some very good points on the divorce and remarriage part.
Anyway, when I make the time this week I will try to find that web-site and send you a link. I believe you will realize that you are O.K. and that in your circumstance - that God is that understanding God that you always thought he was.<p>God made a way for you, and you think that you failed the Lord because of your divorce. God does not feel failed by you, he made a provision for you...... <p>Hugs
And just know that you will have a different perspective of yourself and the Lord - VERY SOON, so REJOICE!!!!!<p>God bless you....
TnT

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I will be waiting, my darling friend.<p>I look forward to reading this... Lord knows I need **something** to snap me out of this funk that has become my life.<p>Thank you Jesus for friends who care!! And, it is amazing how my cyber-friends are among my very closest friends!!<p>I will be back later to critique Praying with Katie...<p>Love you,
Sheryl

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Nyvene and TNT<p>Hello and good morning ladies. A happy Monday too you.<p>I was wondering you two...if I could join you somehow in this discussion or lesson. As you know I am twice married and the whole situation confuses me as a christian. It also has loaded a whole bunch of guilt on my head. So if possible, could I pretty please with sugar on top join in this discussion some way. <p>(Side note here, my first husband was married for nearly 12 years before we started dating and eventually married.)<p>The whole thing about who is really married to who. <p>Okay, I'll quit rattling and wait for your replies.<p>Hugs...and much love! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

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My beautiful Samantha,<p>Of COURSE, you are ALWAYS more than welcome!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

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I hope you start to feel better soon, Sheryl (and Samantha if you are feeling down, too). <p>Please keep in mind (I have to remind myself of this, too) that Jesus forgives. We are the ones who have a difficult time forgiving (ourselves mostly). I try to put it to myself like this: I give it to God (asking for forgiveness, problems, etc.) and I attempt to take it away with my doubts and unforgiving attitude. I need to leave it with Him.<p>We may make it wrong, but God can always make it right. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

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Hi Raskel,<p>Haven't seen you around, and BOY!!, is it nice to see you!!!<p>I've just begun this al-anon group, and already I'm having trouble with the FIRST STEP -- realizing my life is unmanageable. I have done the steps before, but I think I'm possibly being even more serious than before. I want to make sure I am giving this my **all** so that (hopefully) it helps to bring some permanent changes in my life.<p>Wonderful, again, to see you!!

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Thank you, Sheryl! Nice to see you, too. You make me feel so welcome! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>That is wonderful you are in an al-anon group, although I like you just the way you are. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It is always good to continue to work on our issues and grow as a human. <p>That is SO great that your husband is working days now and things with immigration are coming along! (as well as the other great things, too)<p>I am a sensitive person and tend to do the same thing about focusing on the negative things about me, even when things are going well. I am working on that, among other things.<p>I will pray for you. Luv ya (TNT and Samantha, too!)! [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

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Hi Nyneve:<p>How are you? I came over to join you in Women's Bible Study. My prayer for you is that God would garrison your mind with peace as you meditate on the Lord Jesus Christ.<p>Having been through a great loss, I know what it is to need time to heal. Maybe we do, in the healing process, think about the negative at times. It is cause we are hurt and healing. It fades over time as we are removed from harmful circumstances and re-injury. It doesn't just take time to heal, it takes positive experiences.<p>So you take care of you and here's many happy wishes for you to have fun and enjoy life and precious moments and to be loved.<p>I have a perceptoin on the armor of God that I would like ot share. God shared with my heart that the armor of God is the presence of God and we are shielded and protected from the inside out. In other words, as the love of God moves from our inner being, or spirits, where the Holy Spirit dwells and moves outward (working out our salvation) to fill our minds, our wills, and our emotions more and more... more and more we are shielded by the Spirit and more and more the armor protects and nourishes us.<p>If someone was fully filled iwth teh love of God, that person would be wearing full spiritual armor.<p>We cannot put our armor on from the outside, God spoke to my heart... but we can let the love of God work in and through and become shielded.<p>Satan wants to harm us. That much is true. Satan uses negative experiences to move us to withdrawal emotionally (emotions)... as we meditate on harmful or negative events or experiences (mind)... and then we make choices impacted by the pain in our lives (will).<p>As the Word becoomes alive in us,we gain strengthe in Christ to "expel" these deadly arrows of Satan (memories, feelings, thoughts, word pictures, ideas harmful to our wellbeing). We replace these with positive thoughts, ideas, feellings, word pictures, as we focus on teh positive and the promises nad reality of God in the Lord Jesus Christ.<p>In this manner, we enter the kingdom of God. In this manner, God's kingdom comes in our lives.<p>So God's blessings to His children. May they experience His healing touch. May the love of God flood and fill your souls so that the love of God expels and drives out the pain of the past. May God empower you to see your future and your hope in Christ. May the love, peace, and power of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.<p>Our God reigns. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. Our God reigns.<p>We are more than conquerors through Christ who loves us. Though we may have trouble in this world, we can be of good cheer in Christ. Jesus has overcome and we are in Him.<p>God bless,<p>Laura

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Hi Laura-lee,<p>Gosh, it's wonderful to see you over here!!! Thank you for the powerful words!! I agree about the armor... I had a big study book on just that subject that I think I left in CA... I must remember to pack that next time.<p>Again, thanks for coming by...<p>Everyone,<p>Well, despite my best efforts to put myself in the "cave" of upset, God keeps intervening and giving me blessings and gifts...<p>Another MB girlfriend has ordered me "The Power of a Praying Wife" because I went to the used bookstore and it wasn't there. I can't believe it!<p>Today was such a horrible day -- really terrible -- and it seems like all my real friends are HERE, on MB... and again, before ANYone ever tells me that my MB friends aren't AS REAL as those I can touch, I will ask them to come here and read and come to my apartment and see the boxes that my non-real-friends sent me!! Anyway, another friend works for the US gov't and offered to check into my last report that I need for immigration... she's calling the CA Dept of Justice on my behalf. She has some "friends" there... can you believe it?<p>I can't.<p>I am realizing that putting God first, then my spouse, then my children... is difficult at best. He (my H) has trouble with this too. I don't want to educate him, so I'm gonna have to show him by example and wait for the book which will (hopefully) show me how to be praying wife... one who teaches by example, if he needs to be "taught" at all...<p>I had a very bad day... yet, tonight is looking brighter...<p>THANK YOU JESUS!!

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Raskal<p>Thanks for the prayers and Love...need them greatly.<p>Hugs and I'm waiting for TNT to get on with that discussion on the marriage/remarriage thing.<p>Where are you lady?<p>Nyvene<p>Still praying for you lady and you're on my mind tons. It's all going to be okay. We just have to keep this spiritual bonding going with our cyber Christian friends. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Pahakissa1 So great to see/read from you. I love your "grocery list" and I am going to give it a try.<p>lonesome heart We really don't know one another, but I have read some of your posts. You're so right about the enemy, Satan and his attacks and about staying on course. Thanks for the reminder.<p>laura_lee<p>I loved your post. Thank you so much for the insight and the uplift.<p>Hugs to one and all and much Love.<p>Our Lord Reigns!
<><

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Nyneve, just look at this wonderful gathering you've created! I really liked your review of Praying with Katie. Kinda makes me feel like the weeks ahead are no different than venturing into some heavy traffic. I'll have to keep remembering that dog in New Jersey or some such place that managed to survive walking across a long bridge in rush hour traffic. I have such faith that my future will be bright and that I will be protected. <p>I met with my marriage/turned-divorce counsellor yesterday. I have an appointment with an attorney Friday. Topics will be bankruptcy and divorce. The bankruptcy stresses me out so much that I cannot even delve into the box of unpaid bills which have accumulated to see what I owe and to whom. I asked C how I can get some antidepressants. She gave me a questionnaire. It asked about feeling anxious, feeling despair about my future, and so on. After looking at my answers, she said I'm in the "manageable" range, and the stress is most likely due to circumstances, rather than clinical depression. I realized afterwards, that without this forum, without prayers, without my faith in God, my answers would have been much different. I am blessed, even though I haven't much felt like it this week. Guess we're in the same boat, eh Nyneve?<p>Ok now, where's tnt with that link?

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Like I said, I don't agree with everything this person has on their web-site, but I really enjoyed this article....
TnT
***

<p>DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE---<p>
What Does The Bible Really Say?<p>There is probably no doctrine more misunderstood among conservative Christians than the one concerning divorce and remarriage. Conservatism in biblical interpretation is, for the most part, a safe camp to be in. But just because one embraces a conservative view of a particular doctrine does not necessarily mean one holds a scriptural view. <p>Christians should not divorce their marriage partners. Forgiveness is the best and right way to handle infractions of the marriage covenant or relationship. Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. Wives should love and submit to their husbands in everything as unto the Lord. If these two commands were obeyed, divorce would be virtually non-existent among Christians.<p>But what do we do, for example, about the Christian who is divorced and their ex-spouse has remarried? May that one marry another person? This and many other questions concerning this issue are clearly answered from the Word of God in this treatise.<p>What you are about to discover (whether you accept these truths or not) is a literal view, and more importantly a scriptural view and indeed the truth concerning divorce and remarriage.<p>To help you to grasp the truth of this teaching, some basic points in a question-and-answer format will be presented. May the Lord do for you what He did for the disciples---"Then opened He their understanding, that they might understand the Scriptures" (Lk. 24:45). I encourage you to be like the Bereans and search the Scriptures to see if these things are true.<p>Because many of these truths from the Scriptures are based on sequentially presented facts, it is important to read the following questions and answers without skipping any of them. May the Lord bless you as you read these truths from the Word of God.<p>Does God recognize divorce, or is a marriage indissoluble?<p>A marriage can be dissolved by divorce, and God does recognize this fact. God Himself put away Israel and gave her a bill of divorce. God said, "And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce" (Jer. 3:8). Indeed, God Himself is a divorcé (masculine is divorcé, feminine is divorcee).<p>What about the teaching that two people who are legitimately married are one flesh and God says man cannot put the marriage asunder?<p>A marriage can indeed be put asunder. The Scriptures do not say that man cannot put asunder what God has joined together, but rather "let not" man put it asunder (Mt. 19:6). Is God forbidding people to do that which is impossible to do? No.<p>But isn't a marriage still binding even if a couple gets a divorce? Aren't they still husband and wife in God's eyes?<p>No. God put away Israel and gave her a bill of divorce (Jer. 3:8), and in Hosea's relationship with Gomer (which is analogous to God's relationship with Israel) God had recorded in Hosea 2:2, "She is not my wife, neither am I her husband."<p>Doesn't the Bible say that God hates divorce?<p>No. Notwithstanding the fact that some modern translations say God hates divorce in Malachi 2:16, that is a mistranslation. What the Hebrew text really says is that God hates "putting away" (Mal. 2:16 KJV), "sending away" (Young's Literal Translation). He did not say He hates divorce. God hates putting away. Giving a certificate of divorce so that the one put away may remarry without being in an adulterous relationship is a merciful act allowed by God.<p>Is there a difference between "putting away" and "divorce"?<p>Yes. One can put away or send out his or her spouse without giving a bill of divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-3 and Jeremiah 3:8 speak of giving a bill of divorcement and sending out of the house or putting away.<p>But don't putting away and divorce really mean the same thing?<p>No. Putting away among humans is because of sin and giving the bill of divorcement is a merciful act allowed by God to dissolve the marriage so that the ex-spouse may marry another person. In Moses' day it was a very burdensome thing for a woman to be put away without being given a bill of divorcement so that she could marry another man. God made a provision for women who were put away so that they could be supported. It was because of men's hard hearts (Mt. 19:8) that God, through Moses, allowed men to put away their wives. And it was God's mercy that provided for a man to give a bill of divorcement so that "she may go and be another man's wife" (Deut. 24:1-2). Notice in Deuteronomy 24:4 that the Scriptures refer to "her former husband." Her first husband is no longer her husband, he is her former or ex-husband. The first marriage has been absolutely dissolved. Otherwise the divorced woman would be in adultery if she became another man's wife.<p>What if a divorced woman's second husband dies or gives her a bill of divorcement and sends her out, may she return to her former husband who divorced her?<p>No. Her former husband may not take her again to be his wife. "And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the Lord: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin..." (Deut. 24:3-4). If marriage was indissoluble then she would be able to return to her first husband because they would still be one flesh. But she is no longer married to her first or "former" husband. He "may not take her again to be his wife."<p>Marriage is a sacred institution. God never intended for a man and wife to divorce for any and every reason. A man should not frivolously divorce his wife. If she marries another man he may not take her back for any reason. This command of God is not only given in the Old Covenant, but also in the New. The Lord commanded, "Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband" (1 Cor. 7:11). She must remain unmarried. The clear implication here is that if she does not remain unmarried and marries another man, then she cannot be reconciled to her former husband because this is still an abomination to God. If a woman divorces her husband and she becomes another man's wife, she may not return to him, according to the command of God.<p>What about the fact that the Bible says in Matthew 5:32 that whosoever marries her that is divorced commits adultery?<p>That is what the King James Version and several modern translations say. But a closer look at the Greek text shows that a literal translation in that verse would be "whosoever shall marry her that is put away commits adultery." The Greek word apoluo, Strong's number 630, is used here and for some reason was translated "divorced" instead of "put away." The King James translators were not consistent in translating apoluo "put away" or "send away" or "sent away" as they did more than 25 times in other verses. In fact, apoluo appears in the Greek Textus Receptus (from which the King James Version was translated) more than 65 times but was translated "divorce" only once, and that was in Matthew 5:32. The Greek word apoluo was correctly translated "put away" in Matthew 5:32, for example, in the American Standard Version (1901), Young's Literal Translation of the Holy Bible (1898), and The Interlinear Greek-English New Testament translated by Jay P. Green. A margin note in The Geneva Bible translated from the Textus Receptus in 1560 (about 50 years before the KJV) concerning the term put away said, "that is, was not lawfully divorced."<p>Jesus did not say whosoever shall marry her that has been given a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) commits adultery, but rather whosoever shall marry her that has been put away (apoluo, 630) commits adultery (Mt. 5:32; 19:9; Lk. 16:18). Likewise, Jesus did not say whosoever shall give a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) to his wife causes her to commit adultery, but rather whosoever shall put away (apoluo, 630) his wife (except for fornication) causes her to commit adultery (Mt. 5:32). And Jesus did not say whosoever shall give his wife a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) and marry another commits adultery, but rather whosoever shall put away (apoluo, 630) his wife (except for fornication) and shall marry another commits adultery (Mt. 19:9; Lk. 16:18). And Jesus did not say if a woman shall give her husband a bill divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647) and be married to another she commits adultery, but rather if a woman shall put away (apoluo, 630) her husband and be married to another she commits adultery (Mk. 10:12).<p>Why in all these cases would the parties be guilty of adultery? Because they would have only been put away or separated, they would not have been divorced. They would still be married, therefore they would be committing adultery. A man who no longer has a wife cannot be guilty of adultery by marrying a woman who does not have a husband. Conversely, a woman who no longer has a husband cannot be guilty of adultery by marrying a man who does not have a wife.<p>If one marries a woman who is merely put away without having been given a certificate of divorce, that is an adulterous situation because she is still married to the man from whom she has been separated. But if she has been given a certificate of divorce, then she is not married, she no longer has a husband and as set forth early on in Deuteronomy 24, she is free to go be another man's wife.<p>But weren't the King James translators inspired by the Holy Spirit to produce an infallible translation which is the only English Bible that God has used to preserve His Word?<p>Even the King James translators themselves did not make that claim. In fact, in the preface to the 1611 version (this and the Apocrypha which they translated has been omitted from most copies of the KJV today) they clearly disclaim that their translation was the only Word of God. There were already several English translations in existence and being used in England, America, and other countries. Some of these were Wycliffe (1380), Tyndale (1525-30), Coverdale (1535), Matthew's Bible (1537), Great Bible (1540), Geneva Bible (1560), and Bishop's Bible (1568).<p>In the preface titled The Translators To The Reader was written, "...We do not deny, nay we affirm and avow, that the very meanest [most common, lowest quality] translation of the Bible in English...containeth the Word of God, nay, is the Word of God." "...We are so far off from condemning any of their labors that prevailed before us [previous translators of previous versions] in this kind, either in this land or beyond sea...that we acknowledge them to have been raised up of God, for the building and furnishing of his Church, and that they deserve to be had of us and of posterity in everlasting remembrance." "Truly (good Christian reader) we never thought from the beginning that we should need to make a new translation, nor yet to make of a bad one a good one...but to make a good one better, or out of many good ones, one principle good one...."<p>The 1611 original had numerous margin notes that offer different possible translations of words and phrases. The translators wrote in the preface, "Some peradventure would have no variety of senses to be set in the margin, less the authority of the Scriptures for deciding of controversies by that show of uncertainty, should somewhat be shaken. But we hold their judgment not to be so sound in this point....It hath pleased God in his divine providence, here and there to scatter words and sentences of that difficulty and doubtfulness....Variety of translations is profitable for the finding out of the sense of the Scriptures: so diversity of signification and sense in the margin, where the text is not so clear, must needs do good, yea, is necessary, as we are persuaded." "...We have not tied ourselves to an uniformity of phrasing, or to an identity of words, as some peradventure would wish that we had done....Why should we be in bondage to them [words or syllables] if we may be free, use one precisely when we may use another no less fit, as commodiously?...We have...avoided the scrupulosity of the Puritans...."<p>Wouldn't the teaching that a divorced person is free to marry again give license to widespread sin?<p>No more than what Jesus taught concerning forgiving a brother that sins against you. Jesus said to forgive not just seven times as Peter suggested, but seventy times seven. Does this give license for brothers to sin against you? No. God, when He deems it necessary, will chasten one of His own for sinning (Heb. 12:6-11).<p>Christians should never divorce their marriage partners. Forgiveness is God's desire. Anyone who divorces their spouse will have to account to God for it. Anyone who marries a person who has only been put away without a certificate of divorce commits adultery and will have to account to God for that. Anyone who is lawfully divorced may remarry, but whoever divorces their spouse in order to marry another will have to account to God.<p>The whole tenor of the New Testament is forgiving those who sin against you. Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. Wives should not only love their husbands but submit to them in everything as unto the Lord. The head of man is Christ, and the head of woman is man, not Christ (1 Cor. 11:3).<p>The Lord commands a woman to not depart (chorizo, 5563) from her husband. But if she does depart (chorizo, 5563) she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And the husband should not put away (aphiemi, 863) his wife (1 Cor. 7:10-11).<p>What is adultery?<p>Adultery is having sexual relations (physically or mentally, that is, lusting) with someone other than your husband or wife, or with someone else's husband or wife. Jesus said whosoever marries her that is put away (still married) commits adultery (Mt. 5:32; 19:9). That would include a single man being guilty of adultery for having sexual relations with a married woman. And Jesus said whosoever looks at a woman to lust after her, has committed adultery already in his heart (Mt. 5:28).<p>Would a lawfully divorced person who marries another who has never been married or who has also been lawfully divorced be guilty of adultery?<p>No. The lawfully divorced person does not have a husband or wife.<p>What is biblical proof that a divorced person does not have a husband or wife?<p>The best example of this truth is what God recorded in the analogous situation with Hosea and Gomer, "She is not my wife, neither am I her husband" (Hosea 2:2. See Jeremiah 3:8 where it is recorded that God put away Israel and gave her a certificate of divorce.)<p>Does a man have any authority over an ex-wife?<p>No. A man has no authority over a woman who is divorced from him. The law of the husband includes, for example, the authority to disallow a vow she has made. If a husband hears a vow that his wife made and disallows it, then he shall make her vow of no effect (Num. 30:6-8). "But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced...shall stand against her" (Num. 30:9). Likewise, in the New Testament, if a woman is married she is bound by the law of her husband. And while she is married to her husband (not divorced from him) if she marries another, she shall be called an adulteress (Rom. 7:2-3). The only way a woman is not bound by the law of her husband is if she is divorced or her husband is dead. Paul wrote, "The wife [not ex-wife] is bound by the law as long as her husband [not ex-husband] liveth; but if her husband [not former husband] be dead, she is at liberty to be married to who she will; only in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7:39). The wife is bound by the law of her husband, not ex-husband who has no authority over her. If she is divorced, she is no longer his wife, she does not have a husband and as in the example in Numbers 30:9 above is not under his authority or law. "For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law [of her husband] so long as he liveth" (Rom. 7:2). As God had recorded in Hosea 2:2, "She is not my wife, neither am I her husband." A woman cannot be bound by the law of her husband if she does not have a husband; that is, if she has been put away and given a certificate of divorce as God did with Israel.<p>What about John the Baptizer telling Herod that it was not lawful for him to have his brother Philip's wife?<p>According to Josephus, Herod (Antipas) was a guest at his half-brother Philip's house. While there Herod and Herodias eloped and got married. This was an incestuous relationship and forbidden by the Old Testament law (Lev. 18:6, 16). That is why John said what he did.<p>Does the Bible anywhere prohibit a man whose wife divorces him from marrying another woman?<p>No.<p>Does the Bible anywhere prohibit a woman from marrying a divorced man?<p>No.<p>Under what circumstances does the Bible prohibit divorce?<p>If a man publicly accused a wife of not being a virgin when they got married, but it was proved that she was a virgin, then he may not put her away (and, of course, not divorce her) as long as he lives (Deut. 22:13-19). Also, if a man seduces a virgin who is not engaged to another man and they are discovered, he must marry her and may not put her away (and, of course, not divorce her) as long as he lives (Deut. 22:28-29). This command would be senseless if divorce was prohibited in all other circumstances, too.<p>What does the New Testament say about a man who is loosed from his wife?<p>Do not seek a wife, but if he marries he has not sinned (1 Cor. 7:27-28). The Holy Spirit inspired Paul to use the Greek word luo in verse 27. "Art thou loosed [luo, 3089] from a wife?" The word luo can mean "dissolve" or "destroy" or "unbind." Jesus used the same Greek word when He said, "Destroy [luo] this temple and, and in three days I will raise it up" (Jn. 2:19). Peter said concerning the complete destruction of the universe on the last day, "...The heavens and the earth shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved [luo]..." (2 Pet. 3:10-12). If a man is loosed (luo) from a wife and he marries another, he has not sinned.<p>Does God anywhere in the Bible prohibit someone from marrying a lawfully divorced person?<p>Yes. A priest in the Old Testament is prohibited from marrying a divorced woman (Num. 30:8). This command would make no sense if all men were prohibited from marrying divorced women.<p>Doesn't God recognize only the first marriage, that you can only become one flesh with one person?<p>Following are a few of many verses that clearly refute this teaching. This writer does not in any way advocate polygamy for Christians (or anyone else). The following scriptures from the Word of God are presented only to refute that false teaching. God's ideal is one man and one woman as husband and wife.<p>"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife [ishshah]: and they shall be one flesh" (Gen. 12:5). "And Sarai, Abram's wife [ishshah] took Hagar her maid the Egyptian...and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife [ishshah]. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived ....And the angel of the Lord said unto her, I will multiply thy seed exceedingly..." (Gen. 16:3-4, 10). "...David arose and went....And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife [ishshah]. And Saul saw and knew that the Lord was with David..." (1 Sam. 19:27-28). "And David comforted Bathsheba his wife [ishshah], and went in unto her, and lay with her: and she bare a son, and he called his name Solomon: and the Lord loved him" (2 Sam. 12:24).<p>David had several wives and was a man after God's own heart. Many other saints had more than one wife (ishshah) including Abraham, Moses and Jacob. These men were not living in adultery. They were blessed by God. Again, this is presented only to refute the false teaching that God recognizes only the first marriage.<p>According to the New Testament a man is disqualified for the office of pastor, elder, or deacon if he has more than one wife (1 Tim. 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6).<p>What about the fact that in Strong's Concordance apoluo, 630, includes "divorce" in the meaning along with "put away," "release," etc. <p>Strong's Concordance is based on the King James Version of the Bible. Since the King James translators translated apoluo "divorced" (one time out of more than 65 occurrences of the Greek word), Strong was obliged to include "divorce" as one of the definitions. The word apostasion which means "divorce" or "divorcement" is used three times (Mt. 5:31; 19:7; Mk. 10:4) and is a distinctly different Greek word with a distinctly different meaning. Again, the Geneva Bible translated in 1560 in the margin says that "put away" (translated from apoluo) means "not lawfully divorced."<p>Was Joseph thinking of divorcing Mary?<p>No. The Scriptures do not say that Joseph was thinking about giving Mary a bill of divorce (biblion, 975 and apostasion, 647). The Scriptures say he had in mind to put her away (apoluo, 630). They had not yet consummated the marriage, they were only betrothed (Mt. 1:19).<p>Does the Bible anywhere say that any married couples should separate?<p>Yes. When 113 Israelite men had married foreign wives contrary to God's command (Ezra 10).<p>Does the Bible anywhere say that a married couple, one or both of whom were previously divorced, should separate?<p>No.<p> http://lastdaysministry.com/divorce.htm

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