All right I have been here for an hour today and have seen several "old timers" around, some even older than me ! In posting time, not years .<P>So who is here, how long have you been here, what do you think of the MB board ? <P>Lets get some friendly talk going here folks ! I have seen a few topics and posts here that kind of disturb me. But I have also seen some great post/topics that are keeping up with the standard of kindness and caring that first drew me out of lurkdom to post almost 2 years ago. (Oh Lord, has it been that long already ?)<P>So come tell us if you're here and what you think, be honest, we are all grown ups, lets try to find out what our fellow posters need to feel welcome and to be helped.<P>The sense of community is why I keep coming back here !<P><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi, Bozos_Deb,<P>Been here slightly over 12 months. I believe that this site is a God send for people who are having trouble in their marriages or think they are having trouble with their marriages.<P>JL

JL,<P>I agree that this board is a God-send. There are times when I would have gone insane without it ! Of course we all know I am insane anyway, but you know what I mean !<P>Having this board to come to to and the people here to talk to has made the horror of some of the things I have been through much easier to deal with !<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hey Deb, <P>How are you?I have been here 11 months off and on. I have to keep this short. Packing for a trip. This site for me was to learn and grow and know all is not helpless. To know there was others in the same situation. to have support group. Whether I particpated or not. You'll hear from me soon. Thanks everyone!!!<P>------------------<BR>Lilly<P><p>[This message has been edited by Lilly (edited April 12, 2000).]

Deb,<P>I've been here for almost 4 months. And my H's affair is still going on. <P>If I hadn't found this site, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be on this planet any longer. The night I found this sight I was seriously suicidal. <P>So, yes, I can say, MB has been a god-send. I have come to care about everyone here.<P>Mitzi

Deb,<BR>Haven't I been here all my life? At least this life. <BR>Started lurking Jan. '99 I think. D-day Dec. 20. I think I may have registered in March '99 before the big forum Meltdown.<BR>This place saved my marriage and my sanity. (Don't laugh, I do have some sanity somewhere, will have to check my back pocket).<BR>I think we need to spend a little more time here checking out the other forums. "Just Found out" is a very lonely place to be and well.....we need to go there but sometimes it's hard huh?<BR>one thing I need to get back to doing when I visit is to check those posts that don't have many responses and just show some support. Jim does a great job but we all need to be there for each other.

Wassy , I agree, maybe I will check out just found out myself.<P>I wish this board hadn't been split up like it was, then everyone was in one place ! Ah well such is life.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hi:<BR> I've been here since January (I think). Now in recovery after H's EA. Recovery is going well...I like the way we are headed.<P>This site has been VERY helpful in processing all this...many wise, caring people. Oddly, I've found some of my biggest realizations have come when I was trying to put something into words to post to someone else...seems to really clarify things for me (and, I hope it hasn't confused the recipient too much!!!)<P>Kathi<P>

I have been posting since Feb. 2000. D was late November. I wish I had found this site. I do not think I would have been so nuts. I wasn't sleeping and wasn't eating and thought my situation was bizaar and one of a kind.<P>When I realized it was an epidemic. And the things that my H said to me came from a "book" that all WS use....I calmed down.<P>Being able to come here and ventilate has helped me immensely. It has warded off my anger and frustration and sadness.<P>being able to come here and offer support has been therapeutic.<P>I can always find someone on some board that has something in common with my situation. It is very helpful.......

tis me Deb. Been here far too long 30 Dec 98 I registered, only 5 days after discovery.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Been here since March, 1999. I'm really grateful for the support I've received here, but sometimes it is terribly depressing to see how common infidelity is, and how many lives have been destroyed.

Been here so long - lost count. Registered May 99. I'm embarassed to click on the sunglasses and see how many posts I have made. <P>I have grown. <P>I think the biggest growing has been in the faith area, and really solidifying for me what I think, believe, what I am committed to. <P>Secondly, I have seen a change on this board, in many people. I remember the threads when people would get upset it you said "God Bless You", or "I'll say a prayer for you." Now, I see we have a prayer section, and a women's Bible section. Many times I have seen the support of prayer for members - and the intervention in an otherwise seemingly hopeless situation.<P>I also think, that the Lord brought me here to this board. I was without support, I felt isolated, I felt hopeless. What I learned here is that infidelity is predictable. I do not feel alone.<P>I believe this forum is a Marriage Builder site, and - all people that want help or support in building marriages - or helping understand how the "next time" they can learn from a failed marriage - this is exactly the purpose of this forum.<P>The friends I have made here know so much about me, and I generally feel very safe here. I love you all, and thank God for this forum, and my computer.<P>God Bless me, you, us all - and our computers.<P>TNT

I entered MB in Other Topics, for my H's depression, in Dec 98 (eek, look at that YEAR) when Guard left me the 2nd time, 2 weeks before his confession of his 8 month affair that would stretch well into 18 months, if not the current month, making it 2 years...<P>This morning I made 3 posts, gave excellent advice (well, at least I thought so) and realized I wasn't doing the 3 things myself...<P>I advised against separation, I'm now in my 7th separation, this one beginning Jan00, H gone for a total of more than 13 months, and this one continues because I say it does. Guard just moved into a house on his own. I know separation doesn't help a thing, but I fear trusting him...doesn't help that his OW just emailed him after a silence (he says) of 6 months. He has given me access to his work email, and I found it, he doesn't know if he would have told me...he hopes he would have. <P>I advised against a betrayed seeing their EA...I'm fighting like crazy not to call mine, no contact now for 4 weeks, I don't like withdrawal much at all. But in a lapse of dialing, I found the OM did change his phone numbers, so that helps (?). This also makes me less than trustworthy as well. You can't see someone secretly, and not be deceitful. The OM called it "discretion". I'm leaning toward calling it "scummy".<P>I also advised forgiveness. God and spouses forgive us all our LBs, our betrayals, our malicious or murderous thoughts, our lack of trust in God.<P>I'm coming out of the fog that I didn't see coming and that swallowed me so quickly. I've spent a lot of time lately crying and shaking my head. Great timing to have gone off my Zoloft, huh? . I've asked Guard for his forgiveness...I'm still scared that if I want him, he'll back off yet again. And then I will go nuts. But we're trying to both hop on the recovery train...<P>You'll know if I sign off from the Divorce/divorcing forum and slide on over to recovery...wouldn't that be wonderful?<P>Anyway, I so appreciate this board, this place to be where the turmoil of all these emotions are understood, where no matter how bad your situation is, there is always someone who will pray, or hug, or scold, or praise, or love, or befriend, or inform, the list goes on....<P>Thanks.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MBers}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

Ok...<P>I'm not a veteran (real veteran) in time on the forum 6.5 months...<BR>...I guess a veteran in number of posts though...<P>Good idea Deb...<BR>...the <BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000367.html" TARGET=_blank>"New" E-Mail Exchange</A>…..you started…..1/31/2000<BR>and <BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>Roll Call</A>…..I started…..2/12/2000<BR>do get out of date after a few months...<P>Of course people are more than welcome to update both!!! hint... hint... wink... wink... <P>Most know me as the "Welcome Wagon"...<BR>...if you missed my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders</A>... shame on me.<P>Otherwise... I'm just another "long distance" <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>-er... future <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>-er... future who knows what... <P>Also looking for the "sense of community"... especially when my kids go to sleep! <P>Jim / <B>N</B>ew <B>S</B>un <B>R</B>ising

Ahhh the party girl is back onboard...and just in time for summer?<BR>Thank goodness the board burped and I was one that had to reregister...who knows how long I have been here! <BR>Things are going well in my world right now. H is being loving and pretty wonderful. Working on his issues that led us into this mess! I am enjoying being myself again. <BR>Wow-was I lost for quite some time. As if you old-timers didn't notice? <BR>How are you Deb? and how is Bozo? <BR>

Hi, Deb! Been on the MB forums since 10/15/1998 and just checked - total of 1091 posts recorded... Frightening, isn't it?<P>It was about 1 month after discovery, 1 month before he moved out...<P>The forum has introduced me to people I have become quite close to - and saved me from despair countless times. Now, I am posting over on the Divorced/Divorcing forum ... it's time to move forward in my life. Some people just don't "get" the MB techniques - like my husband...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I can see clearly now,<BR>the rain is gone ...

Hi Deb,<P>Only been her since March 19th. Wish none of us would need this board...but we do and I'm glad its here. The warmth and love is overwhelming and I for one appreciate everyone here!!!<P>J W

Since March of 98........and the forum has changed so much,,for the better, I might add. <P>So many new people all the time, different versions of the same sad story. So many different outcomes. This forum has helped me immensely since I discovered it. And I thank God I did. <P>I don't post or reply very often anymore. But I do visit and read and occasionally respond to a post. Sometimes it's hard to read about all the new, fresh pain or about others that have been hurting so long. I sincerely wish there was no need for this forum.

Found this site 1/99...lurked until May or June '99.<P>Literally saved my sanity.<P>Haven't been on much lately because I have a busy family life right now.<P>My marriage is better than ever. Still, it was the most painful experience of my life.<P>I thought the pain would never end, but it did. I see changes in my H that are significant and I believe long term.<P>Basically we had a happy marriage and a wonderful family, but we didn't focus on "us" enough...and to be honest I don't think he appreciated me. Now he does and I think he is just as horrified at his actions as I am.<P> <P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Hi Deb!!<P>Well, I've been a registered user since April 23, 1999 (old user name). I lurked for a couple of days after I found the site.<P>This site, and all the wonderful people here saved my sanity. I never would have made it through the last year without this place, and everyone here.<P>I've watched as this site has grown, been divided into sub catagories, and now even includes a place for those of us who were not able to save our marriages. The love and support here is unbelievable.<P>Thoughts & Prayers <BR>Dawnetta<P>PS~ TnT -- I'm not afraid to look at your sunglasses.... it was 2700+ posts!<P>cl ~ good to see you again... it's been a while! I'm glad things are going well for you.<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>