A very dear friend has encouraged me to come to all my old friends for help.<BR>Pray for me please.<BR>I seem to have fallen in a hole.<BR>It has been 8 months since the last known contact with Bimbo.<BR>I still can't say "recovery' out loud.<BR>No closure, no truths.<BR>Okay I keep trying.<P>H left on Easter Sunday to do a job 1/2 hour away from Bimbo. That is their turf. Never never land. He is 3 hours away from me.<P>I had wonderful intentions of healing. The job was supposed to last 5 days. He is still there. I am living the past. Deja vu. <P>He called tonight. Was supposedly going to be done today. NOT. Who knows when.<P>I hate being a failure but I am in a black hole and I need your prayers.<P>Sorry this is disjointed. I'm not doing very well tonight. Loveya all.

{{{{{{{{{<B>wasstubborn</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I'm praying for you...<BR>...I know you need it!<P> <P>Jim

Ah sweetie!<P>First of you, YOU are not a failure!! Stop that! You are one of the strongest, bravest woman I know.<P>I'm so sorry you are hurting. Wish I was there to give you a hug. <P>My prayers are with you. I'm going to light a candle right now for you!<P>Prayers and hugs,<P>Cheryl<P>

Some minutes, days or weeks are harder than others.<P>If you see the hole for what it is and have every expectation to crawl back out, if a bit better than not even seeing the pattern.<P>Hope you feel better. It is so hard, I know.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Wassy,<P>Prayers coming your way. You are not anything close to a failure and that comes from the village idiot!<P>Our minds play tricks on us. You don't want to know what goes through my mind! It scares me sometimes. I fell down the cellar steps when I was 3, broke the concrete. Boy, was my Dad mad! We often think the worst of a situation.<P>It may be that the job just took longer than anticipated. More work was needed. <P>Now is not the time to give up! We are all here to help you out of that hole.<P>Fight the good fight!<BR> <P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Wassi,<BR>I'll be praying for you....

Wassi- A prayer request from you is enough to bring me out of my little corner.<P>Please hold on. It could be all as innocent as it should be. Do not expect the worst. Give this to God and trust in Him.<P>God bless you.

Wish I could give you wise words of advice as you have done for me. But I can only say I will pray for you.<BR>Lora

Wassi,<P>I am praying sweetie. Hang on tight. Your going to make it. All of us are here for you.<P><B>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Wassi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}</B><P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited May 08, 2000).]

Thank you all!!<BR>I can feel it. Don't give up on me.<BR>NSR<BR>Always there for everyone <BR>It means a lot to me. More than you could know.<P>ceecee<BR>Always makes me smile to see your name. <BR>Don't feel very strong right now but I'm glad you believe in me. <P>FHL<BR>Did you hear me thinking of you today?<BR>Needing your calm?<BR>Didn't you go on a holiday? <BR>You have a direct line upstairs - that I know! Forgiveness workbook? I'm remedial again.<P>Medic<BR>My favorite village idiot! <BR>You're right! My mind is playing horrible tricks! Tell me more stories.<BR>Yes the job is taking way too long. He is not happy about it. But temptation is there. If he was insane for so long.......<BR>Well it's a short trip back.<P>NoTrust<BR>I can always count on you too. <BR>I guess I needed to remember I'm not as alone as I thought.<BR>Thank you.<P>dreamer<BR>Dear friend.<BR>You heard me thinking of you too.<BR>I almost sent out an SOS to you yesterday<BR>Don't go so far away.<BR>How is your H?<P>Lora<BR>No advice needed. Prayers are what counts. And it is very special to me that you care! <BR>Thank you so much.<P>Samantha<BR>Dear friend, wise lady!<BR>I'm hangin' on!<BR>I need you all so much right now.<P>Feeling very much like I don't belong anywhere. like I should be so much faarther in this battle. Very sad.<BR>I feel the prayers. No better place to go for them.<P>I will be coherant in the morning. Knock on wood! It's just been so lonely, so long.<BR>I'm not sure what battle I'm fighting anymore. <P>Loveya all!!!! You are very special people!

Wassi,<BR>I'll swap prayers with ya .<BR>You pray for RAIN for me.... and I'll pray for you and your H. (And that you realize you are NOT a failure!)<BR>You are always in my thougths & prayers.<BR>Dawnetta<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Wassi,<P>You are <B> NOT </B> a failure ! You are a normal human being human. Your world has been upside down for so long that it's a wonder you can say anything (say it ! say anything, there, see I knew you could , )<P>Of course you are unsure right now, any of us would be in your shoes ! Sheesh woman , what do you expect from yourself ? <P>I'll be praying for you, as for you, stop being so hard on yourself ok ?<P>Love you much Wassi !<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hey you two <BR>Thanks for being there.<P>Butterfly<BR>I am praying for that rain for you. Is it there yet?<BR>If it came from here it would be snow. <BR>It's very dry here too my dear friend so no bonfires for me.<P>Deb<BR>You always know what to say! You know I guess I do expect too much of me. Maybe that's why the rest of my family does.<BR>I shouldn't even have to deal with this. <P>I wasn't very nice when he called last night.<BR>(Understatement of the year) I know he doesn't want to be there but that doesn't make it okay. It doesn't make it safe.<P>The big problem is that since Nov. when I first said the word "recovery" he has worked out of town almost constantly and we have put off working on this together.<BR>I'm tired. <BR>How do you live in the present when there isn't one? How do you make new memories when you're always alone waiting for tomorrow.<P>Thank you all for your prayers. I'm not crying this morning. That dear friend was right when she told me to post here. There are no better friends in the world!

dear, dear wassi:<P>DO NOT FEAR , FOR I AM WITH YOU; <BR>DO NOT ANXIOUSLY LOOK ABOUT YOU, <P>FOR I AM YOUR GOD, <P>I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU, <P>SURELY I WILL HELP YOU! <P>ISAIAH 41:10<P>[This message has been edited by POGP (edited February 15, 2000).]<P>This is my favorite verse for us betrayeds.<P>He is a God of miracles, see my post as alias "Liz Smith is..."<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{wassi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>and now, back to my lurking....<P>lizzie/pearl/lizpearl/POGP/alias<p>[This message has been edited by alias (edited May 09, 2000).]

You know Wassi,<P>I've been praying for you and your husband. I don't have advice, except to keep your eyes open for miracles and interventions. I know the Lord is answering our prayers. I don't know HOW he will answer them, but he will. <P>Something good will come of this. Look for it. I don't know what - but something will. <P>Getting back on my knees for you.<BR>TNT <P>

Liz<BR>I saw your post and replied. What wonderful news!!!!!!!!<BR>Thank you for your words and prayers.<P>TNT<BR>I know you're there. You always are. <BR>Do you ever wish you had taken the easy way?<BR>I do for moments here and there.<BR>Some moments I wonder why I chose this fight. Guess I've been fighting it so long I just can't remember.<P>But Deb<BR>I can still say "anything". Just barely.<BR> <BR>

I took the easy way in my first marriage, and wasn't easy. I know from the sadness in my kids eyes (from the first marriage) that I cannot do this to "R". I know I must fight the good fight. And sometimes it feels unbearable. <P>But, I realize there are so many others futures dependent upon what choices I make. <P>Yes, sometimes it feels hopeless. BUT - the truth is - and this is something you really need to get into your soul - the TRUTH - is that it is NOT hopeless.<P>Wassi, you cannot look at circumstances to discover truth. Truth is far more deeper than this. Truth is ultimate - it is absolute. And, this world, and the "present" is sometimes very deceiving - you must get into your soul the real truth about life.<P>There are things happening around us - behind the scenes, building foundations - for the promises from the Lord. The promises are the real truth - everything else is masked. Go back to Positive Confessions again. Get it into your soul. Look for the ultimate truth and outcome, Wassi. It is there, you just don't see it.<P>Bimboland is a deceitful place - and has no permanence in the scheme of things - you know this. You know that sometimes bumps come into the road, devised to destroy the cart. But - the "road" isn't the only method of getting to the destination. The road sometimes is limiting - in our thinking. It is in the thinking that we have our biggest barriers. <P>Wassi, you need to change what you perceive as truth - you need to change to unchain your future. You need to change to realize that you are not limited - and the methods to your destination are much wider than you have imagined. <P>I am on my knees for you, Wassi. I care a great deal about you. <P>Hang in there, friend.<BR>TNT

Hi WS,<BR>Honey, I don't even have reason to think the word "recovery", but I still wouldn't want to trade places with you in your pain and uncertainty...my pain is, at least, mine and familiar.<P>My H "feels" like he is falling into the behavior patterns that meant he was having an affair. An affair that was supposed to be over in my case, 7 months ago (although contact was not that long ago), your H's 8 months. Like your H, mine has the opportunity, we don't live together, yours is out of town.<P>You've lived with this pattern so long that your response to his being "there" is/was ingrained through what amounted to "shock therapy". I talked to my counselor about this very thing last week. And, of course the answer is, don't worry about things you have no control over. "Do not worry about tommorrow for today has enough trouble of its own". (rough paraphrase from Jesus' lily of the valley parable.)<P>You did right in coming here for prayer support...because in God's hands is exactly where your H is. He can run, but he can't hide. One thing I keep forgetting is that God doesn't want us to "settle" for just being together as husband and wife. He wants our marriages to be as Jesus and the church. There may well be something God needs to work in your H's life to make the recovery sing. <P>And, WS, as perfect as you are , God will still need to do some spit-shining on your refined silver self. <P>You know I wish you the best.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

I'm listening ladies!<BR>Keep talking!<P>I need to do that right now. Listen to you and your wise words.<P>TNT<BR>My soul is so tired and that darn weight is back on it. You know that lump in your throat that won't go away? The 50 pounds on your chest? At least it's only 50 pounds. I remember when it was 500.<BR>Your prayers, wisdom and God are the ones I need now. I can't do this by myself. I really tried but I can't.<BR>Loveya always.<P>Lor<BR>Tell me more about your councelor if you can.<BR>I've discovered that the councelor from Pluto did more damage to me than I admitted.<BR>I think he can take credit for a good deal of where I am now. In that one hour session he planted so many doubts in my head. My sane mind knows he is a quack. But once those things are planted......<BR>One thing he said popped back in yesterday. I remember him telling me that My H was only being nice to me out of guilt and he would just start up again. Consciously I know the man is just a jerk looking for power but he planted that and other things. When I'm alone so much the subconcious and concious get confused with each other. Who my H is and who he was get all mixed too.<P>I'm going to go do some errands now to try to get out of this rut.<P>Keep talking. I'm listening.

WS - am back on my knees, praying those seeds that have rooted will be plucked out.<BR>TNT