Yuki,<P>I'm late to this party tonight...LOL<P>I don't think you are different...<P>This forum is a microcasm of the troubled relationship society...<P>That said...Search for the similarities...<P>The biggest is emotional pain...<P>We can all identify with that...<P>It is the tie that binds us together...<P>I loathe my MIL's cooking...LOL<P>I think your thread has a flaming folder now...<P>Something to concider...We all understand the power of God...through him all things are possible...<B>BUT</B> God gave us a free will...It is His will for our marriages to last a lifetime...It may not be our spouces will for our marriages to last a lifetime...If they have hardened their hearts and refuse to live His will we can do nothing for them other than pray...I'm not saying to divorce your H but if you truly do all you can on your end and it doesn't work...God will give you a better spouce the next time around...<P>Keep praying and putting Him first and all will work out for you...<P>We know not what the future holds.<BR>But we rest in peace knowing WHO holds the future.<P>Bill<P><P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Well Yuki, I gave it the old college try, but it seems like I just made you angrier. I couldn't get both the links to work, sorry.<P>I too would be very upset about my kid in a car without a carseat, I don't blame you one bit. I would have raised all holy h*ll.<P>I was trying to look at things from both sides, hard for me becuase I really love my MIL and adored my FIL. I'm so sorry that you can't have a similarly affectionate relationship.

<B>lonesome heart</B>...<P>You've got it!<P> <P>Jim

<BR> Yuki, Please get professional help.

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removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

hello yuki, I have to agree, you do need some professional help. That is not stated in a negative way at all. <BR>Taking sides? No, just giving different opinions of how the issues can be looked at. I noted that you chose a line or two out of many posts and responded negatively to them, or did not respond at all. You said nothing about the many compliments and postive statements that so many gave. You failed to acknowledge the great diversity of advice you received!!! I removed my previous posts. It appears you are asking for help and advice, then picking it all apart or finding ways you can disagree.....so???<P>Chip on your shoulder? Very angry and very unhappy? <BR>That is why I have to agree that professional help should be sought. There are ways to deal with waht you are experiencing, one just has to truly want it!

<BR> I do not think you are crazy; I just think you need professional help in order to work out the best way to deal with your situation.<P> God Bless You, GWM

I have to agree with cl. I can see from your posts that you could probably have an MIL from h**l, but I can also see how your MIL probably has the same opinion of you. You have to change yourself first, that's all you could do. Hopefully, your MIL would react positively & change for the better. If she doesn't, move out like you've been threatening to do all along. Your posts have caught my attention because you always complain of being ignored. People have a right to choose which posts they would reply to. Not everyone has a lot of spare time, you know. And even after people have started paying attention to you, you still complain of being ignored. Do you have anyone in mind you've been waiting a response from? If so, address the person directly, but don't complain if you don't get an answer. Maybe people have better things to do than listen to your whining. Being young is really no excuse, & you've overused it. You sound more like a spoiled b**t to me. I've learned a lot from this forum by listening to the experiences & advice of different people. I think you need to listen more & digest what you hear. You have to think, too. And take the advice or leave it, but stop complaining. Your problem is not insurmountable even though it maybe different from most.

Bravo! Ken! very well said.<P><BR>I've been mostly lurking at this website for almost 2 years. I hardly post. Mostly because i am not so sure i have any advise to offer, just thoughts and prayers..which i certainly send off to you also, yuki.<P>Yuki, ever hear the saying.. "you'll catch more flies with sugar"?? Try it. I also have a mother in law who dislikes me, she isn't my favorite either, but.. she is my H's mom, and since i love my H i give her a certain amount of credit and respect for bringing up the man i married. That doesn't mean i want her to be my friend, but...<P>It sounds to me like you need to be speaking with a professional counselor, who can help you make decisions in dealing with the problems you are having in your life.<P> First of all, living with your in-laws can't be healthy for your relationship with your H anyhow. When there isn't enough privacy, or even one's own space.. how can you possibly feel comfortable, you need your own domain. One in which you can be the wife and mother you so desperately want to be.<P><BR>I'm sorry that i can't offer a resolution to your problem, but know that i'm thinking of you, and praying for you to come to a decision about what you are doing to yourself and your son, by staying in an enviroment that is obviously making you so very unhappy.<P>Good luck, yuki... and best wishes<P>CDA<BR>

NSR<BR>I was just reading your profile.<BR>I feel so badly for what you've been going through.<P>You are not alone in this type of situation, technology has it's blessings and its' curses.<BR>So I am to understand that if your wife walked back into your life tomorrow you'd welcome her with open arms? I commend you for that...it takes a big person to do that.<BR>And full well knowing you'd have a long and difficult road to recovery. <BR>Hang in there. You never know what will happen.<BR>Sounds like she is sewing her oats 'so to speak'.<BR>I can relate somewhat. I did something similar. Something I am not proud of, something that ended my 15 year marriage...yes, meeting someone off of the Internet. But you know, it wears thin. In person they are NOT as understanding and loving as on line.<BR>I regret many things...but most of all ...<BR>the pain I put people through for 'my' pleasure. And believe me, there wasn't much pleasure. I would like to turn back the hands of time. But even though my ex loves me still..I know that..I doubt that the wounds could ever be healed enough to move forward. <BR>So good luck, and don't give up.<BR>Don't stop your life hoping upon hopes that she'll see the light one day...she may not.<BR>But she may. So don't give up hope. <BR>But continue to move forward and think of the kids. <P>My thoughts are with you<P>Lonely

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by yuki miaka:<BR><B> I can understand what you're saying, but from my point of view, it seems like everyone is taking her side and I'm the "bad" one. I really don't understand it.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I don't think people on this board think you're the bad one and that we take your MILs side. But YOU have come here and SHE has not. We can only reach out to you and tell you what YOU can do about this situation. If your MIL had come here to vent I'm sure we would have told her to PLAN A you. But you have made the first step here, and this shows that you have at least committed to try to save your marriage.<P>scandinavian<BR>

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I've had enough. I said thank you to everybody who replied to me, but that's obviously not enough. I'm not going to take abuse from this site either, I'm outta here.<P>To the Moderator of this forum:<P>Please remove my username from this site because I won't be using it anymore. Thanks.