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Joined: Dec 1969
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Nancy,

I'd have to agree with Schizzo and Grand'... Where the heck was your lawyer during this "agreement"? Taking a nap?

It's great that you got your daughters, but kids are expensive, as you know. $25??? What are you supposed to do with that? I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure that he can't coerce you into relieveing him of child support responsibilities.

There are lots of other lawyers out there...


Joined: Nov 1999
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Joined: Nov 1999
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I agree with you Doug but the agreement is done. I will need to pay big bucks to fight it and still not sure anything can change.

He is still in control of mine and the girls life ......for at least another 10 years. I can never go away on a weekend....anywhere because they have to be here to receive his calls.

Of course he missed his scheduled call on Tuesday...he made us sit around and never called. Just being a jerk I guess.


Nancy


Joined: Feb 2000
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hi Mental,

It just irks me that he still can have that kind of control of you!!!

Yes, I'm thrilled that you got your girls, and I bet they are too. You know that is where they belong. You are wise to give this a rest for a while. You need to re-energize yourself now, and really...how much good has it done you to pay those attorneys the money you have been paying them. Good for you for taking a break from the stress of this situation.

Mental, you just sound really strong and good on your posts. I can't believe you did not even cry in court!!! You are just as much a role-model here as people such as Sheba and Lostva. You came through a horrible situation with CLASS, and you can always be proud of yourself with that.

Thanks for teaching us how to hold our heads up high when things are so hard.
allison


Joined: Nov 1999
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Hi there Mental,

I have thought about you so often, and tried to follow your story and updates.

I am SO glad to hear you finally got what you deserve, custody of your children.
I agree, nothing else is important but that. Somehow, you will find the will and the way to provide everything they will need. But they will have what is most important, their mother and their mother's love. The way you have kept going throughout all this mire and muck has made feel quite ashamed of myself at times. You should be so proud of yourself.

I guess sitting at home waiting for his calls (even when they don't come) is not much different from what we normally do anyway. I mean, we cook, bathe, do dishes and put children to bed. We have to be home for all that anyway, right?? I think what I mean is that if I was in your shoes, I would be at home anyway. It's not as if I would be going out, and then having to wait around at home for his call. I'm there at home anyway ....

I firmly believe that what goes around, comes around. He will get 'his' one day, in some way. You may never even know, but he will.

I just wanted to let you know how happy I am that you got the most important thing. You are the winner here, along with your children. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.

love and hugs, and lots of prayers will be continuing your way

Jo


Joined: May 1999
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Nancy,

It may seem like you are not free from him for 10 years at this point. But, believe me, this agreement is the best thing that could have happened to you all.

Your husband is so into power/control, he would never have been satisfied unless he felt like he "won". It is odvious what was important to him from the beginning - money, not the girls.

Let him think that he has won - all he wants. It will help you to be able to truly be free from him. And, you know - there are cell phones - in the event you need to get away for a weekend, you can notify him in advance - (be sure to follow that court agreement to the tee) - and he will have no excuse. There is a way around everything, to stay within the agreement and work towards your freedom as well.

I bet that in 2 years you will have figured out completely how to move towards a healthier life for you and the girls, and he is very disinterested in you, them or your life.

Do make sure you do not flaunt any future relationships in his face, unless you want to go through another round of trouble with him. Believe me, I know.

God Bless You and the girls. Don't stop the counseling for them, they still need the tools to learn how to deal with an mentally abusive father.

TnT


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