<BR>There are A LOT of towels being thrown in around here....<P>This is not a locker room!!!<P>LOL!!!!!<P>OK, so it's a lame attempt at some levity.....sorry!!!<P>We need some positives around here......<P>Keep in mind that there is always some good to be found amidst the "bad"!!!! <P>You just have to have hope!!!!<P>Well, yeah.....maybe you have to search yourself and work to find it too!!!!<P>We are all here for each other and God (or whatever higher power you believe) is with us also....<P>We are not alone!!!!<P>BIG HUGS and STRENGTH to all,<P>Sheba<P>PS...now stop throwing those towels, you're messing up my hair!!!!!<P>

I can use some of the towels if they are new!! <P>

No towel throwing here...despite being the WS..and at the beginning of recovery...I will be Da** if I am about to give up. Just wish that I could get my W to believe in me, but I am told patience is a must. God give me strength

Just picking up the towels my kids leave on the bathroom floor, by the pool, ect...<P>Sheba, I know today has gotten kind of heavy around here. Sundays are sad days for many of us. Should be a family day, but my H (we are seperated) is golfing and going home to his apt. I sit here and hope to learn.<P>May I ask you for some specifics please Sheba? You are getting a divorce, right? How do you keep up this spirit I see on here? Do you ever just want to destroy your H? I feel like I'll keep it together until H asks for a divorce, then all bets are off. Just how are you doing this and staying sane??? Do you still have hope for your marriage? Is an OW in the picture right now? Are you just one of those "up" people...(don't shoot me for that one)?<P>Don't think I'm taking lightly what you must have gone through. I am not doing that at all, I'm just amazed that you can be here helping all of us when you have got to be hurting like crazy. <P>I guess I'm just in a very questioning mood tonight. I am lonely and scared and missing my H terribly. I am scared, Sheba, of being like you and having a divorce handed to me, and there will be not a thing I can do about it. Then how do I act? Who do I become? How are you doing this girl?<P>allison

Sheba----~~~~<P>Sorry to give you and others that giving up feeling. I believe in MB for many people. But, in my h case, I don't at this point. <P>He has been gone now for 5 months and living with OW. He had turned himself into her. SHe is an awful person who is only concerned about her own happiness. My h is now that same type of person. <P>He is just being so awful to me. TO other he might not seem that bad but when you had a great marriage where you never experienced any typw of behavior like this, it is very hard to sit back and take it. <P>I feel like I am lying on the floor and he is walking all over my back and I am sinking futher anbd futher into quicksand. <P>The nicer I am to him the meaner he is to me. HE told me the other day he does not like me and I said back to him Well I will always love you and then he hung the phone up on me. <P>I am planning on going to a full out Plan B at this point. I don;t even wish to see him at all anymore. I will have to see him at my kids game though and that is tough because his parents and sibling all sit with me and not him.... Its so strange. <P>I do feel he will one day regret it and I feel this mostly because he is a completely different person and he is doing everything now that all his life he disagreed with. <P>I am fearing that when that happens, I will not want him back anymore. I'm sorry for being such a downer. ((((((<P>Perhaps tomorrow will be a brighter day...

Ummmmm! <BR>'scuse me ma'am.<BR>I seem to have lost my towel.

Dear Missy9,<P>I'm so sorry hon, that these things are happening to you. It sounds like your H has truly turned into a hateful person. May I just say though that I remember when Lostva told us that her husband wished she was dead many times, so that he could get her out of his life.<P>How long have your been in Plan A? Do you think you've done it long enough to go to B? I know I've been tempted at times too to go to B, but Jim says it takes about 3 times as long to accomplish your goals in B than it does in A.<P>But Missy, it does sound like you need to protect yourself from further hurt. Does his family support you? Sounds like they are on your team. Have they tried to talk to him about all of this?<P>Do you think your H is worse when you are nice to him because of guilt? I have seen with my H that when I really turn on the sweetness act he does not recieve it well. It's better that I be matter-of=fact, yet sort of loving with him. We do have great talks together, not that they're really getting us anywhere at this point. <P>Missy, I don't blame you for feeling discouraged. When I do I look at Lostva's posts, and I go to recovery to see what those people are doing to hold on to thier sanity.<P>If you need help composing a Plan B letter come here and let the forum help you. Those seem tricky to me, and the feedback other have gotten has been great.<P>You can make it Missy, don't give up yet. <P>allison

Hey Sheba,<P>I tried to post on your other thread and was thrown off twice. What does that mean?<P>Let's try it again. You know what you have to do. You know damned well what you want as your final result. Do everything in your power to realize it.<P>OK, now I'm done. What is it with all the towels here? If it [marriage, relationship] means that much to you guys fight tooth and nail to get it. If it came easy it wouldn't be worth it. The silver spoon syndrome.<P>I messed up so bad in this marriage I can't tell you. I woke up. It took me 39 years. I love her dearly and will do almost anything short of being illegal and being caught and put to death in a stinky rotten prison at one minute past midnight with a lethal injection. I will be dead for two years before I give up on us. She may have to be dead for a longer period.<P>Damn it, I forget where I was going with this. Going to be 40 next week, hope I survive. <P>Something about towels,...Oh yeah the dryer is done.<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Az,<P>I'm anxious to hear how Sheba responds to your inquiry. You took the words right out of my mouth. How does she do it??? <P>Jo<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

Sheba, who said anything about throwing in the towel. I'm just folding mine a new way!!!!!!!!!!!<P>

Medic,<BR>I turned 40 a couple months ago...nothing to it, compared to how my life was going at that time. 40 is just a number...filing for divorce was a major life change.<P>Sheba,<BR>I don't know what you are talking about. All my towels are in the laundry room

On my way to work, but wanted to let you know that I will respod to your questions - hopefully tonight AZ - OK?<P>You know that you are going to get a novel......LOL!!!<P>BIG HUGS to all,<P>Sheba<P>PS - Wassi....egads woman!!! Find a towel - we don't run around naked in here!!!! LOL!!!<BR>

Allison:<BR>My h family does support me in a big way. They are totally on my side as much as they can be right now. He is their son/ brother and they will always love him. They are a very catholic family and would never turn their back on a family member.<P>Things might change as I am sure if things continue the way they are now, I will eventually lose touch with them to a big extent. <P>They are all embarrassed by his behavior and very upset at what he did to me and the boys. They have all at one point each spoke to him but nothing gets through to him..<P>I have tried plan A for a good 3 months. I am now in my own Plan B. I have to see him at my kids game but we totally ignore each other. We talk so little its pathetic. I wish I never had to see him. It would make things so much easier. But, I'll be damned if I am going to miss my kids games. <P>Sheba-- Where are you we are all waiting patiently..