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Joined: Jan 2000
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Isn't it strange how many of the spouses who leave the home do it on special days such as birthdays, anniversaries, and other meaningful dates to the family...and holidays as well.

Wonder why?


Joined: Feb 2000
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Does Cinco de Mayo count as a signifigant holiday? That's when my H confessed/left. I guess only if you like marguaritas.

Honestly though, good question. I've wondered the same myself. Seems like a lot of them leave around anniversaries for some reason. I mean, ouch! What could they be thinking? And Christmas...jeez...nice rememberance for the kiddos.

Hope you get some answers. I'd like to know too.


Joined: Apr 1999
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I don't know the answer either, but it seems to be true.
I discovered my H's affair very close to our anniversary.

ALl in all, I think that it's because those dates are important ( like anniversaries, or birthdays ) for us, or just special holidays( like Christmas and stuff ) that they become more significant.

I mean in itself the begining of June wouldn't really mean much to me, but when in context with the affair and it's significance to our marriage I linked it with our anniversary. Does it make sense? I don't even know LOL but that's how I thought about it when it happened.

Take care

Kat


Joined: Jun 2000
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My husband, too, left on our 9th anniversary (last Thursday), but is coming home already tomorrow.

Maybe because it's so highly emotional trying to deal with both relationships that things blow up on special days?? I can only hope and pray that the hurt of our 9th can be replaced by a 10th where we are happier than we have ever, ever been!


Joined: May 1999
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My husband met the OW on the anniversary date that we spent our first weekend together in 1979-October 24th. She conceived his child on Thanksgiving 1998. Whenever Thanksgiving rolls around from now on or whenever I hear any reference relating to Thanksgiving, I find myself feeling not very 'thankful'...the word alone makes me so very sad now. It used to be one of my favorite holidays because I was always so grateful for my blessings and so thankful for my wonderful marriage and family. Now it has this enormous sadness and darkness overshadowing it.
October used to be 'our' month. Not anymore.

Catnip =^^=


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My H has worried obsessively about turning 30. Apparently the mid life crisis came 10 yrs early for us (I hope) he is balding, said he is fat, which he isn't etc. While I knew something wasn't right, I discovered the affair on his 30th b-day...so now we will always have his 30 b-day For me it was almost too ironic.

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My counselor talked to me about this yesterday, because it seems like I carry a calendar in my head with all the "bad" dates 10 ft high. He says it is unforgiveness on my part that makes it that way...and once I truly, completely, and probably most important THOROUGHLY forgive, the calendar will disappear.

He says he sees this even with dates of death and the grieving...that once they have come to acceptance...the date, although it may be remembered, won't rip them up and destroy them every year.

Anyway, I'd personally do anything to get this calendar out of my head...with 7 separations & 2 years of bad holidays, I get hit with a lot of pain. It would be nice as those thoughts begin to just say, "hey, I've dealt with that, don't need to go there anymore."

Just a thought to pass along.

------------------
Lor
"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10


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My H informed me our marriage was over on the day of our 14th Anniversary. "Happy Anniversary!"

Then he says "Guess we should fix up an Anniversary dinner, huh?"

Jo



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