Hello <P>I've noticed that many speak of Jesus, and a few talk of other beliefs, but for the most part, the loudest people are Christians, and it seems that the makers of this board, in general, also believes in Christianity. I'm wondering how ya'll believe.<P>For me, I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I believe that God forgives me for my many sins, but I have a hard time forgiving myself. I also believe that God made everything on earth, and that He listens to my prayers, even when I don't feel worthy to pray them. Some days, I don't think about God or Jesus at all. Sometimes that lasts for years. I am thankful that God doesn't give up on me and forget me as easily as I do Him.<P>Can we do this please? I'd really like to know what you all believe. I think it would be interesting, and a way to get my feet wet in this board.<P>EB<BR>

Hi energizer,<P>Hmmmm, you asked a tough one.<P>At 42 years of age, and in the worst crisis of my life I have started praying for the first time ever. I feel like a fool to have waited so long. <P>I guess, for me, I feel kind of like I have a parent listening to me. I really do feel like my prayers are heard. I wasn't raised in any faith and liked to tell people I was Agnostic. But, when I tried to talk to God, there he was after all this time, listening. Amazing.<P>I don't call myself born-again. I don't call myself any certain religion. Don't think I ever will. But I'm learning and growing and I feel like a new dimension has been added to my life.<P>allison<BR>

God ROCKS!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

This is a good question. I was raised Catholic but was never religious. When my H and I separated I was in the depths of a despair I have never known. A friend sent me to a minister at her church for counseling. He prayed for me and my marriage and showed me how to pray. Other people prayed for me too. A traditional counselor just told me to basically prepare for a divorce. The minister was just the opposite. He helped me with a version of Plan A. I was talking wiht a friend of mine out of state one night, she is Christian and told me she would pray for us too. That night I prayed before bed and (you may think this is freaky) I heard a voice tell me "Don't be afraid, he'll be back. Be patient" Now I don't mean a loud, booming Charleton Heston Moses voice. It was more like a feeling (hard to explain). But very definite, unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Other people explained to me about God working in his own time and they were right. It didn't happen on my schedule, but it did! I will never doubt the power of prayer again, that's for sure and every day I thank God for everything that we have.

Hi, believe it or not, I'm a practicing Catholic - but I am still a little ashamed to go to church, not because of my beliefs, but because of my sins. <P>My H attends church with me and is a Christian. I always thought I had a pretty good relationship with God, pray every night, church every Sunday, etc. . . But somehow, I was the one who had the A. <P>I know this is a serious topic, but someone mentioned dream interpretations in another post. Well, when I started the EA, I actually had a dream about the Pope. He was in this field surrounded by people, and he walked right by me, I was trying to get close to him, to hear him speak, but couldn't in my dream.<P>Anyway, someone recommended a book to me on this site "Three Steps forward, two steps back" by Charles Swindoll. You should pick up a copy - if you can. It's a great book on how just when you think things are going along great something comes along that tests our faith. But these trials and tribulations only make us stronger.<P>This is very very simplistic, and you probably should read the book for yourself, but what I have gotten out of the book, it that sometimes ordeals occur, it's a part of life. God uses these times to draw us closer to him. Guess I must have been miles away - even though I was sitting in Church. <P>I hope I haven't offended anyone, but I went to confession the day after the affair, confessed to God, asked for forgiveness, then I went home and asked for forgivness from my H. My sin was committed against God, unfortunately, I also hurt my H in the process. I know I'm not perfect, none of us are, but I guess that's why I have trouble forgiving myself. It's almost like I let myself down, a false pride ws broken. But, I know if I keep focused on the fact that Jesus did for my sins, and if I'm truly remorseful and ask for forgiveness, it is granted.<P>I'm just glad my faith allows me to be loved unconditionally by God. Also, after I confessed my sins and asked for forgiveness, I saw a homeless woman on the street, someone I see almost everyday, but she never speaks. That day, she said clear as a bell "Have a wonderful day." I always tend to visualize the face of God in the poor, homeless, etc . And to hear those words from her, touched me. <BR>I don't want to ramble, but good question - hope I haven't offended anyone.

There's one in every crowd, and I'm the one here. <P>I'm a lapsed Jew/pagan with Buddhist leanings.<P>I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian great alpha male God Jehovah. I regard Joshua of Nazareth (what you call Jesus) as a great and wise teacher/prophet/adept whose words were corrupted by people around him who had their own agenda, and the result has evolved into a religious system focused on death and fear and loathing and hatred of women and fear of their sexuality. <P>I don't regard Joshua of Nazareth as the "son of God" any more than any of us would be "children of God". <P>Those of us who do not believe that this man is/was "the Messiah" don't disbelieve that he existed, we just do not believe he was a deity. There is much that can be learned from the teachings of this man about love, compassion, forgiveness. But these teachings are far too often corrupted into a rigid belief structure that is intolerant of those who differ.<P>I don't buy for a minute that you can be as big a scumbag as you want in this life, but all you have to do is accept Christ as your own personal savior on your deathbed and you're home free. I don't think it's that easy, folks.<P>Well, you asked, didn't you? <P>PS -- some of my best friends here at MB are Christians. I respect them, they respect me.<P>(Where's Wexwill when I need him?)<p>[This message has been edited by Dazed and Confused (edited July 07, 2000).]

I was raised strict Catholic (parochial school thru HS).<P>I now consider myself a non-denominational Christian.<P>Unfortunetly I haven't been closely in touch with God until this A. I've always prayed but felt I should do more.<P>Sure hope this thread doesn't start any flaming controversy ... as religion/spirituality tends to head in that direction.<P>Jo<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited July 07, 2000).]

I do believe in the Judeo-Christian great alpha male God Jehovah. I regard Jesus(what you call Joshua of Nazareth) as a teacher but most importantly as the one he said he was, the Son of God. I beleive that His words are often corrupted and twisted by people who have their own agenda. Who misrepresent his offer of eternal life as a religion focused on death and fear and loathing and hatred of women and fear of their sexuality. I believe in the sovereign God that loves both male and female equally. I believe in the God who created sex with all of its mysteries and pleasures to be thoroughly enjoyed within the sancified boundaries of marriage. I do regard anyone who has put their trust in what Jesus did, for all of us on the cross, to be "children of God". <P>I firmly buy, for eternity, that the bigest scumbag on earth can cry out to God at any point in their life and accept Christ as their own personal savior and be ushered into heaven upon leaving this mortal life.<P>I do believe that there will be for all of us shame and tears for our unholy acts against a Holy God. I also believe that God will quickly dry those tears and welcome us into His Glory. I happen to think, no, I believe that it's just that simple, folks.<P>Well, you asked, didn't you? <P>Mud <><<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Mudder (edited July 07, 2000).]

Thank you for your very honest replies!<P>Any more takers out there? Any Wiccan's? Any non-believers, agnostics?<P>I wonder how much easier it is to forgive yourself (I am a betrayer, by the way ) and/or to forgive your spouse (I have also been on the other side with my spouse ) when you have a religious leaning? For me, as a betrayer, it really was hard to forgive myself, because I knew what I did was sin (as I understand it). <P>Thank you again for your frank answers.<P>EB

Just wanted to add, since there are so many Catholics out there...that my husband, a Catholic, has not been able to go to church since his affair started. I wondered why the abrupt halt at the time, but he explained that he was sick of going and trying to get the kids to go with him...plus I usually didn't go with them, so I got blamed for his faith waning. Heck, at the time a few hours of peace and quiet, the paper and the coffee on Sunday mornings was as close to God as I could get!<P>Any suggestions on helping a lapsed Catholic get his rear back to church? His A is over, but he is not living at home. He is racked with guilt (very Catholic trait I hear) and looks ten years older than he is.<P>He says he's afraid to go back to Church. <P>allison

I am also Catholic. I've always had faith that God would get me through anything. I wasn't real religious, but I prayed daily, privately. I've had many struggles over the years, including having an alcoholic parent. <P>I prayed that God would guide me to bring me to a better life. I prayed for Him to help me help myself. I truly believe that He has protected me.<P>But when this happened to me, my faith was shaken. I've done all the right things. I've done what I thought He wanted to me to do, but still my H hurt me in ways I could never imagine. All I said to myself on the days after discovery was, "My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?".<P>I, too, like Fairydust went to talk to a priest and suggested my H do the same. He understood the pain, but urged us to work on the marriage. The marriage counselor just sugggested we talk about our feelings and see what happens.<P>Someone here suggested a book, the Blessings of Brokeness. I recommend it too. For anybody whose faith has been challenged, it poses some good suggestions.

I believe that God is love and it has given us free will so that we can make mistakes, learn forgiveness, and learn about love. I believe it is part of the whole Divine Plan that we live through pain because that is how we experience the most growth. I also believe that we are given prosperity, peace, and blessings so that we can handle the tough times. I am a Buddhist (if you need a label), so i think we have as many lifetimes as it takes to get it right, but I don't believe that that is an excuse to eat, drink, and be merry. We have a responsibility to all creatures to treat them with respect, dignity, and love because we truly are one creation. As we do unto our neighbor, we do unto ourselves.

Thanks again for all the replies! <P>allison, about getting your H back to church. He has to do it himself, just like so many things. I understand how he feels. I stopped going to church and doing all the things I knew would help me (like seeing my therapist and writing in my journal) because the truth (that I was sinning) was too hard to face.<P>I'm slowly trying to go back to church now, and I've talked to my minister about my affair and my spouse's affair. I'm trying to be honest with myself and God, even if it's hard.<P>I hope your H goes back to church, because I believe that God is loving and does forgive, and he needs to know that now, more than ever.<P>EB<p>[This message has been edited by energizer_bunny (edited July 07, 2000).]

Catholic by birth, I was raised Baptist..every other person in Texas is..but having a very scientic upbring (my father was a chemist) and schooling, I have maintained by association with Baptist but disassociated myself from their teaching or the teaching of any organized religion.<P>I feel that you need a place for worship (or a place to worship together) but not a dogma to live by created by man to control man. <P>My god is in me, every day, every hour, every minute, holding my hand, guiding me, not far away at any time...as he is in everyone everywhere if only they can reach inside and find him.<P>There is only one God no matter what the religion, be it organized or spread out on the plains of Africa, he's there for each of us whereever and whenever we need. If only we ask.<P>Buffy<BR>

Energizer Bunny,<P>Amen!<P>I don't know if being in a certain religion makes it any easier to forgive the WS or yourself if you are the WS (I was raised Catholic--being Irish/Mexican--what did you expect?! But I am not devout, sorry to say). You can claim to be of any religion and still not take the teachings to heart or consciously strive to practice them daily.<P>I take the Jesus' teachings to heart and try to live my life that way. Partly because I agree with His teachings. But also because it kind of falls in line with my nature. It just makes sense to me. <P>I've forgiven my H and the OW and everyone involved (alot of people knew of the A and never told me) and even myself for my blindness. Alot of people in my area think I'm a fool for forgiving my H. And everyone thinks I'm crazy for forgiving the OW (but I'm lucky--she's made it kind of easy for me). Forgiving my H had to be the hardest.<BR>Understatement.<P>It's been said here that resentment (and now I'd like to add, "withholding forgiveness) is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. Eventually, you end up hurting only yourself.<BR>

I gues I could be called a psuedo bible thumping southern baptist...lol<P>The reason I say psuedo is I don't go to worship every Sunday morning Sunday evening or Wednesday night. I don't even fellowship with with the brethrin of my church, however, I believe 90% of the doctrine. I concider myself a "born agian" christian. I believe the Bible IS the word of God. I have the privlage of having met a Biblical archiologist that has found EVEY major Biblical event, or should say has found physical evidence of these things. So I have my physical proof that what the book says is true.<P>Being a fallen man I too often rely on self-will therefore I often strugle with living "His" will.<P>I also disagree withe the doctrinal teaching of the protestants conventioal wusdom concerning the end times in relation to the books of Danial and Revelation. I agree with the Seventh Day Adventists teachings in this area.<P>I do know that God is loving, careing and greater than myself and I am in the care of.<P><P>------------------<BR>Bill<P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

I was raised in the Greek Orthodox church but found it complex, confusing and too strict so I never really followed it. While generally, a believer in God I have never really participated in any real form of organized worship. When my "crisis" came up I began to attend a local church and felt incredibly better for it. I have been going regularly to a Christian church for nearly 3 months now. <P>As a result, along with counseling, and soul searching, I have found peace, new friends, and the power forgive myself for my part in this. I have also found the love to forgive my WS for her "participation" in everything that has happened.<P>Funny thing, my wife, raised a catholic, but attended a Christina church regulary before the A, stopped going to church for a long time. Her first time back at church was last Sunday, with me (although we didn't sit together because we arrived at different times).<P>I don't think the specific religion or deity is important. Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Catholic, whatever. If you have faith in something outside yourself that you know will not let you down, you may find it easier to have faith in yourself and your spouse. <P>

I wasn't much of a church-goer until I found myself telling my H that I didn't love him. I felt like I had a big hole in my life and identified it as a spiritual hole. I started attending a combination Congregational/ Unitarian Universalist church. It's predominanlty Judeo-Christina but it also embraces some of the concepts of other worlkd religions reinforceing the idea that God is love. He is all about forgivenss and compassion and caring ofr tohers in the same manner as you care for yourself. <P>And that does not mean caring for others INSTEAD of yourself. God cares for everyone and every individual has gifts and talents to bring to the world. To neglect yourself is just as bad as to neglect a loved one. This doesn't give one a license to be selfish. It just means that as God's child, you are just as worthy of love and affection as every other child of God and should net be neglected any more than any other child of God.<P>This church puts a lot of emphasis on helping others and reaching out to the community in whatever way is needed and in whatever capacity you have. By helping others, you help yourself to grow in the process.<P><B>GonnaTry,</B><P>I agree with this statement:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>I don't think the specific religion or deity is important. Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Catholic, whatever. If you have faith in something outside yourself that you know will not let you down, you may find it easier to have faith in yourself and your spouse. <BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><B>WilliamJ]</B><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>I also disagree withe the doctrinal teaching of the protestants conventioal wusdom concerning the end times in relation to the books of Danial and Revelation. I agree with the Seventh Day Adventists teachings in this area.<BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm almost embarassed top say that I'm not fmiliar with what the offical doctrines are from either denomination. Could you give a brief explanation?<P>

I was born and brought up a Baptist while attending private Catholic schools all of my life. I became exposed to Islam in college and once considered myself to be a firm believer in both the Bible and the Quran, while at the same time never really getting into organized religion, I didn't feel that I needed man made rules or a middle man for me to talk to God. Since my W's affair, I have gone through some very major changes, initially after discovery I sought God out and prayed daily, but something that I can't explained happened, I am starting to doubt whether there is a God at all. I am starting to wonder if the the idea of a God and of religion is simply humankind's way of dealing with the harshness of life, hoping that there is something, anything, that is better than life on earth, something to hope for as we live through life's realities. Maybe I'm just going through a phase right now, I have no idea

I believe that Jesus died for our sins. I'm a non-denominational Christian. As a child, I was raised Baptist, too. I was baptized in the Baptist church, then later when I got older, I was baptized in a Christian church. <P>I was very close to God while in junior high and high school. I used to attend regularly, but since I've been married, we don't always go every Sunday. Early in our marriage, my H didn't like going to church w/me. He was raised Catholic, but rarely attended. So, I'd go alone or not at all. <P>Since our wake up call w/my A, my H has wanted to go to church a lot more. I also think he thinks if I go to church more, I won't be tempted to "screw up"! He also feels, as I do, that we can grow closer if we're closer to God. So, we try to go as often as possible.<P>I do wish I had a closer relationship w/God. When I had my A, I felt lower than low. I couldn't go to church because I felt so guilty, and if I did go, I felt like such a hypocrite. It took me a long time to accept the fact that God has forgiven me, even though I couldn't forgive myself, especially when I kept doing it over and over. But I know God does forgive and He's the One who's helped us through this. I just have to take His hand again and let Him lead me! He never takes His hand from us, we're the ones who pull our hand from Him. If we let Him, God can work wonders! <P>Just my 2 cents! <p>[This message has been edited by momma (edited July 08, 2000).]