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Suggestions please.. vacation coming up
#389392 07/12/00 11:58 PM
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,749
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Lora Offline OP
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Lora
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My H has vacation schedualed in August as do I. You may remember I found appartment applications dated for move in Aug 1, but as far as i know he hasnt filled them out yet.<P>My counseler suggested I ask him about vacation as a way to open up the conversation and to let him know i see us as a couple and give him a chance to speak. I don't want to find out on the 31 that he is leaving the next day.<P>What do you think about that? Any suggestions on how to bring up the subject? <BR>How to ask him when he hates my questions? How to prepare myself in case he says something I am not wanting to hear? I think he might say we never have any fun anyway, he doesn't want to go on vacation with me and he is moving out. Yikes, how to respond to that?<BR>Lora..
Re: Suggestions please.. vacation coming up
#389393 07/13/00 12:37 AM
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 6,380
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FaithHopeLove Offline
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FaithHopeLove
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Do you really think he could fit that all into one sentence?<P>I think vacation could be a chance to figure out what he is up to.<P>Could you pick three activities, desitnations or projects and ask him his opinion?<P>How do you usually decide your vacation?
Re: Suggestions please.. vacation coming up
#389394 07/13/00 07:44 AM
Joined: Nov 1999
Posts: 1,749
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Lora Offline OP
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FHL,<P>You are right, he probably would just say no. And I wounldnt know any more than I do now.<BR>We usually sort of discuss ideas way ahead of time... but of course this year that hasnt happened.<BR>Lora
Re: Suggestions please.. vacation coming up
#389395 07/13/00 08:04 AM
Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 171
Illinois
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J Willy Offline
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J Willy
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Illinois
I don't think bringing up the topic of vacation is going to force him into an apartment. If that's what happens it is not of a result of the discussion. He has probably all ready decided. Having an open a honest conversation can be a great Plan A. You must control the conversation as much as possible and you should be upbeat and happy throughout. Talk about past great vacations and good times and get him involved in telling you what kind of vacation would be fun for the both of you. I think if you prepare yourself and you do not allow any LB then it can be a great opportunity for both of you!<P>Love and Prayers for You and Your Family!!<P>J W
Re: Suggestions please.. vacation coming up
#389396 07/13/00 09:06 AM
Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 5,798
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Lor (Lor) Offline
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Lor (Lor)
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Lora, just ask/invite him to talk about his vacation time. Be ready as the others say with a couple suggestions. He may say no. You've heard the word before...you'll be okay. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] Go on a vacation...or at least a couple days away, without him, if he says no.<P>He may say yes. We had a great trip with our kids last Sept to Disney World and my H had told me before we went that he would be moving out again when we returned and he planned to file for divorce. He did move out, he didn't file. During the trip, we didn't talk about our problems, we just had fun and kept very busy. It was what we agreed upon. The trip and the memories are among our best.<P>There's more than one way through the maze. And sometimes even the blind alleys are a blessing [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com].<P>
Re: Suggestions please.. vacation coming up
#389397 07/13/00 10:23 AM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
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Resilient Offline
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You know where I stand Lora ...<P>"Okay"...."I understand"...."I see"<P>Practice your responses before you bring it up so you don't LB and experience a Teretz(sp) Syndrome attack like last episode. [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com] <P>I'll give you a call this evening and we can talk about it if you like.<P>Your GH Pal,<BR>Jo<P>

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