<BR>Hi All -<P>Anyone watch HBO's Sex in the City? If so, you'll know what I am talking about....<P>For those who don't.....<P>Main female character (Carrie) dates "Mr Big" (either cuz he's rich or "that" or both....I am not sure!!)....anyway....<P>Mr Big slow on commitment....goes to Paris for work and comes back engaged.....tells Carrie who is devastatedly shell shocked!!!<P>Takes a while, but she finally gets past it and into a new relationship......he's great so far and completely down-to-earth!!<P>In comes Mr Big....unhappily married now apparently (wife likes everything BEIGE!!!) and drinking quite a bit. He bumps into her a couple of times, says he is leaving his marriage, then calls her at home...leaves message....she calls back (after much hemming and hawing) and he disses her by saying he was wrong that he isn't going to leave, blah, blah.....<P>Then she gets a call - he's there in the lobby and wants to see her.....meanwhile it is her boyfriend (who's at her apt.) that has told him where she is - so he knows that "Big" is looking for her but not that they have a history!<P>She comes down to see him.....he is miserable....blah, blah....<BR>follows her back into elevator and although she initially resists......he pushes...she crumbles.....<P>Cut to sharing a smoke in bed afterwards.......<P>UGH!!!!!!!<P>The reason for my posting this is twofold......<P>One - that it just goes to show that this is so "accepted" as entertainment!!!!<P>Two - that I have some torn emotions here......<P>On the one hand.....Big is MARRIED!!!! Yes, for a non-committal-minded man, it was too quick and very stupid....but he is married none-the-less!!!<P>On the other hand...He was in a relationship with Carrie at the time of his "affair and engagement"......<P>Who claims being cheated on? Who is the one in fantasy? Who is the "right" female to win out here? <P>My instincts say that MARRIAGE is sacred and should win out.....but my emotional feeling is that he entered into this "sacred" thing stupidly and through deception and lies given to Carrie.....<P>What do you all think on this? I find it very frustrating......<P>Maybe it is just that Big is "Logan" from L&O and I like him!!<BR>LOL!!!!!!<P>Let's talk about this!!!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba <P>PS - I question only the triangle, but know that the real victim right now is Carrie's boyfriend!!!!<p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited August 07, 2000).]

I don't get to watch TV too much these days, so I don't follow completely, but......<P>from where I currently sit, all ducks need to be in a row (and then shot! ha)...<P>I want to say Big needs to get out of the marraige first. Carrie needs to be honest with her boyfriend first.<P>Wait...maybe Big needs to use MB principles and work on marraige and Carrie needs to go to counseling to figure out what she really wants...<P>Or they set up Big's wife with carries boyfriend and THEN and only THEN get back together.<P>Is this what happens all the time on this show????

<B>Sheba</B>...<P>I didn't see this episode...<P>I only saw this show once before on a business trip...<BR>...I hated it then...<BR>...from what to wrote tonight... I'd still hate it.<P>About your question(s) though...<BR>...I have to bring up the concept that not <B>ALL</B> marriages... are "real" marriages.<P>It's something we don't talk much about on any of the forums...<BR>...but if there is an inadequate amount of maturity on the part of the perspective mates... how could you claim it as a "real" marriage.<P>I hope I didn't bring to much of a 'religious' tone into this question...<BR>...but it is something I have seriously been considering...<BR>...especially after talking with my W's X.<P>...Hey... you're making me use my noodle too!<P> <P>Jim

The media causes us to think that infidelity is an acceptable part of society. One of those "Oops!" kind of things. Funny how an affair is romanticized on tv and movies, when you and I and all of us know what really goes on in an affair--and how it feels.<P>When I read "The Horse Whisperer," I had to go out and buy the hardback copy, I loved it so much. When I saw "The English Patient" I thought 'How romantic!'<P>I guess the movies just stand to teach you how people can fall into a torrid love affair without consequences. These days, I try not to even pay attention to tv love affairs. That's all it is--entertainment, and it doesn't teach us what happens in real life. In fact, it fools us into thiking it's acceptable.

I love this show and it makes me so mad! Of course Carrie had first dibs but W is innocent, she was not a knowing OW. I think Carrie should forget Big and stick with Aidan. Big has never been anything but thoughtless to her anyway. Now on the otehr hand, if carrie and big were married and he left her to marry OW, as far as I'm concerned she'd have every right to sleep with him. That would be the ONE marriage situation I'd never consider sacred.

What do I think?<P>I think it's a TV SHOW.<P>Of course, I'm the one who cried her way through PUSHING TIN, of all movies, because if a woman who looks like Cate Blanchett can't trust her husband in the fact of Angelina Jolie's rack, what hope is there for the rest of us? <P>Think of it this way: Do YOU think the women in SEX AND THE CITY are presented sympathetically, as people we root for? I don't. Frankly, I feel sorry for them. My H and I watch it on occasion, and for all that these dames look great in spandex dresses, he wouldn't trade me for any of them.<P>MY biggest objection to the show is that these women are always shown eating rich desserts and drinking like fish, and they they never gain a pound. D :

Hey Warrior Gal, <P>I don't watch that show. From what you write, I can only conclude that Mr. Big doesn't refer to his IQ. <P>I follow along with a few others here. This story like many others cheapens marriage. From the story line you presented, it looks like the two characters are made for each other. Both are willing to toss their commitments aside for a roll in the hay and a shared cigarette. Neither understands commitment. Neither posses integrity. <P>I think there is a common personality trait for all TV infidels. <P>Oh well, time to read a good book <P>SHA <P><p>[This message has been edited by Sir Hurts Alot (edited August 08, 2000).]

Aaaaah, now we've hit upon it!!! <P>It's supposed to be a TV SHOW - entertaining!!! Fantasy!!!<P>But.....is it? Or does the example shown with this "relationship" actually just a reflection of what is REALLY going on in this world? <P>There are a lot of people here who have had this type of thing touch their own lives.....not the EXACT, but a variation thereof!!!<P>What about those that have been married before....infidelity struck....next relationship/marriage and infidelity strikes.....then enter first relationship partner..........<P>Does the first relationship partner have more of a right to be with their now entangled ex? <P>We betrayed say that we do!! That whatever our spouse/SO is into now is meaningless because of the lies, personality changes, addiction, etc.<P>Does a second marriage (with the person who participated in the affair) invalidate our beliefs just because they are "married" now? Or are they still "part" of us? I am thinking of situations such as Please Help who's wife remarried one week after divorce!!<BR>With PH knowing full well, from her own mouth that it is not for LOVE!!! Should he now have to "respect" this OM - cuz a "sacred" union has been done?<P>Could even branch this idea into a situation like Medic's where his second marriage is volatile and his first wife is Plan A'ing.....Does she have the right to? Should she be considered butting into a "sacred" thing?<P>There are a lot of other similar stories, but those two come to mind as examples......<P>What are your thoughts about that?<P>As far as the show itself.....I really only watch it when Logan (Big) is on!!<BR>I used to just love him on Law & Order and this is pretty much all he is doing now!!!<P>I don't like those ladies lives and it is definitely not representative of anything in my world....that's for sure!!! Like I really have all these samples to know and categorize about "funky spunk"!!! YUCK!!!!<P>(don't ask!!!! - the closest I'll get to saying it is to point to the "Swallow" thread!!!)<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba<P>

I saw the show... but as I was watching it I thought about something else. It hit me as so funny I guess because we were talking about here on the forum that I couldn't help but hollar and laugh...lol.<P>The topic was <B>To Swallow or Not tTo Swallow</B>...<P>In that thread alot of women said that "it" tasted like clorox... it was so funny when she said that he had "funky spunk" that tasted like clorox!! <P>Hope I don't offend but I thought that was hilarious after our discussions here on the topic.<P>Genie