<P>Hey Guys!<BR>I havent posted in a while. I thought I would hop on here and fill you all in on the latest.<P>I have tried to stay away from here. It brings back olot of memories that I dont want to remember. <P>H and I are doing GREAT! ! You know I told you about meeting the OM about 1 month ago. The feelings there were completely GONE!! <BR>They are nothing like they use to be. I do still have thoughts of OM on occasion. However, it is nothing like it use to be. <BR>H and I are trying really hard. He is doing great at it. I must say that I am as well.<P>Now, as I go through my day. H crosses my mind more often. That is a BIG step for me. Now, you know how this emotional roller coaster is. I may be on here tommorow crying the blues! LOL!I sure hope not.<P>I just feel like I havent felt in years. All this time I tought that I was rebuilding this marriage. I was not. You have to be OVER the OP before you can do that. I finally answered all my OM questions when I met him. I just felt so uncomforatable around him. He was not the one for me. <BR>It took a long time to get that way though. <BR>PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I do agree with the NO CONTACT rule. I just think that in some situations it would be better on the person to let it die a natural death. You know the "If you love someone set them free! If they dont come back it was never mean to be!" Well that fit great in my situation with OM. We were both free. Once we seen each other. We BOTH knew that it was never meant to be.<P>I am sailing at this time. Things couldnt get any better. As I said though "you know this roller coaster" So I wont get to high of hopes here.<P>I am know making decisions including my H. That is also a plus. <P>I just feel in my heart that the EA is finally in the BOX AND SEALED!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>We are now "MOVING ON UP!" keep us in your prayers!<P>Prayers to you all,<BR>Renee <P> These smileys are for real for once! <P>Oops! I exceeded the limit for smiles per post! LOL!<BR><P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!

inamess,<P>your post gives hope to so many here who are in the situation of their spouses seeing the OP again. I hope they all read it and refuse to give up hope. Nothing can be more painful for a person than being in recovery and learning that their spouse has back-peddeled, but as I read these posts I am learning that it is part of the deal.<P>I am thrilled for you inamess. YOu have worked hard and are reaping the benefits. Does your H seem to be handling things well? Does he know about your last contact? Fill us in on just what he did (your H) to keep you leaning in his direction, will ya? That sort of thing means a lot to us betrayed folks out here.<P>It's great to see (hear) you so pumped up on your marriage. <P>allison

Hey girl -<P>PHEWWWWWWWWWW!!! I'm glad to hear your good news. I was getting kind of worried that you weren't posting . . .but I'll take that as a good sign!!! IT's still a long and bumpy road - but it gets easier at this point. . .Don't you feel like a light has been switched on? It's easier to make it through the dark days - if there's even a little ray of hope. . .You go girl. I'm happy for you. . .

Inamess,<P>What an encouraging post. Funny how perspectives change as the OP leaves the situation isn't it. You H is now not such a bad guy is he? <P>Keep up the good work. And by the way you are way short of the smiley face record or limit. More smiley faces inamess, more.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

JL, SKM,<P>Thanks so much for all the replys. I know you guys have keep up with this mess. And all the encouraging words that you have given me. THANK YOU! That isnt to say that I wont need them again though. <P>I did pass OM today in his W new beetle. I have no idea why the HELL he was oout in my part of the country. I think she was driving and he was on the passenger side. He did turn his head though. That of course had me wondering for awhile. Then I just prayed for it to go away....<P>I also cut my cell phone off. So there is no way that he can contact me. I know that he will try to one day. Or I just hang on to that maybe. But regardless.. There is no way that he can get in touch with me now. So that is GOOD!!!!!!!!!<P>Allison,<P>As to your queations. I did not ever tell H anout the contact. Every situation could be different. I tried to put myself in H place. I would not want him to keep coming to me and telling me that he talked to OW. So NO I did not tell. And I have no regrets to this day that I did not tell. <P>I think it has to die a natural death. I have thought what would I do if H done this? Would I divorce him? NO<BR>Would I leave him? Probably<BR>I would not hang out and plan A forever. I would be the best of friend that he could have. I would try to be his emtional advisor at that point. <BR>Coming from my side of the fence. I would not make him tell me everything about it. I would not want to know. Intuition tells all anyway. I say go on that. If you feel it in your gut. Then there is a 100% chance that it is true. <P>First and foremost! I would want the affair to die on its own. I would not want to interfere. I think that makes the want that much worse. I am a living example of it. This isnt to say that I wont think of OM again. I just dont do it as much. I have to feel that happy closeness feeling with H for that not to happen. So I have learned myslef that I have to throw myself in that position. <P>As I said before anyone starts flaming. Thsi is just my $.02... <BR>This is what has worked for me. This is what my God has done in my life to help me. <BR>One thing that I have learned through this. I just dont really think that I would ever force H to end and affair... The want is so so so bad. I would let the wax melt and let the flame get smaller and smaller. I would try to encourage the NO CONTACT RULE!!! The time away is what kills it. But when youare forced.. It is much worse. I think that you have to want to get over the OP before you can get over the OP.<P>Prayers to you all<BR>Renee<P><BR>SKM,<BR>How was the vacation???<P> <P><P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!