Hello MBers,<P>I left this site three weeks ago today when I discovered that my husband had resumed his affair, and that it had in fact escalated. Once again I was caught completely off-guard, and the results have been devastating. <P>This time, despite my efforts to protect them from it, my children have learned about their father's betrayal, and so has the other woman's husband. They have three small children who are suffering horribly.<P>I actually saw the other woman today outside of a restaurant. She laughed in my face and asked if I had anything to say to her. She has destroyed my life, my home, and my family, yet she laughed at me because of my pain and suffering.<P>My husband isn't even the only one she is having an affair with, and he knows it. He threw away our marriage, a relationship of 25 years (this week). All for something of so little value.<P>He lied, deceived, snuck around, and had sex with a woman who had already given me one STD. I can't make any sense of it.<P>I know that most everyone here is suffering through the same thing. How are we all going to make it through this? I don't believe that I can this time.<P>Just a few days before I discovered the truth, he posted several replies on this board about the success of our marriage and recovery. It is crushing to read those posts, knowing they were all lies.<P>I have been praying non-stop for the past three weeks, but God seems so far away from me right now. Please include me in your daily prayers, I need all the help I can get right now.<P>Peppermint<P>

Oh Peppermint,<BR>I am so sorry you have been so hurt. What an evil woman she is. Her soul must be black.<P>It must be so hard to feel like you have been making progress and then to be hit with this again. There are many in the same lousey place right now. I was just reading in surviving an affair of the story of the couple in there. They also had many setbacks and her going back and forth between working on the marriage and OM. It took awhile for her to truely commit to the marriage and for OM to LB enough for it to be over.<BR>Lora

Peppermint,<P>I am soooo sorry for what you are going through. God is still there even though the pain is unbearable now, and we're still here for you, too. I'm sorry that your children, OW's H, and their children have discovered the betrayal as well. They must be hurt and in shock. So much healing needed for all of you.<P>The first betrayal is bad enough, but another catching you off-guard the way it did...it can be too much. Is there anyone you can talk to that is nearby? Keep posting here so we can support you through this.<P>It makes me angry that she laughed in your face the way she did. She is a heartless person, and you don't deserve her cruelty. <BR>We will pray for you, don't fear.<P>Many Tears

Peppermint,<P>What awful news...Three weeks is a long time, does he know you know?<P>Can't offer any advice, only love and support. (((((((((((((peppermint)))))))))))<P>God does seem far away when we are really down, though we know in our heads that He isn't. But he sends us people to give us support. For me, it was Jennifer Harley and this board. I don't have anyone here where I live.<P>Please keep coming here. What an awful woman! I'll be praying for you and Sha (forgot to tell him that).<P> <P>

Peppermint,<BR>I am so sorry. I read those posts and it sickens me as well.<P>Why was he posting here? <P>Prayers for your family's healing...

Oh Peppermint I am so sorry to hear about this! You have been the voice of reason and hope for so many. I hope that you will let everyone you have touched support you through this awful time.<P>{{{{{{{{{{Peppermint}}}}}}}}}}<P>My prayers are with you.<P>Jodi

Peppermint,<BR>I'm so sorry, I've been through the resumption when you just think "HUH?" and worse "I wondered, but he said...".<P>If you want to email me: Amelia109@aol.com.<P>You can get through another attack, but God...it's hard.<P>I have no idea who your spouse posts as.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Oh Peppermint,<P>It's just a nightmare isn't it? <P>The others are right, sometimes it takes many tries to get all of this right. Look at the betrayers posts if you can here...I know it's painful, but it helped me understand the draw these OP have. They fight it every day. Your H just gave up the fight...but so have other betrayers here, and then have gotten their heads on again. Can you wait this one out?<P>Gather your strength...keep praying. Give yourself some time on this one, you are tired right now, you need some rest and maybe a little break. Can you get away for a few days? It saved my life a few weeks ago when I did. I was ready to fight again after two days alone in a hotel room. We all burn out from Plan A...it's hard as hell...and need to have a breather now and then.<P>Ok, I'm going on and on as usual. <P>I'm just so sorry that this has happened, but I just want to add one thing. Because of posts like yours and SHA...everyone that is going through this off again on again thing, I feel like I am prepared for that when it happens with me. Thank you for taking the time to help me and others with this important stage...maybe when it happens it will not be quite so painful because of people like you.<P>allison

pepermint,<P>I am so very sorry to hear of this unfortunate turn of events. My thoughts and prayers go with you.<BR>God bless.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{peppermint}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

{{{{{{{{{{{{Peppermint}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>I am so sorry for your pain. <P>It astounds me that a man could be addicted to someone capable of behaving that way.<BR>I remember vividly the one phone conversation I had with the bimbo. I got off the phone, looked at my H and said "You think you are in love with THAT?"<P>{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} <BR>and prayers for you and your children.<BR>Take care of yourself and remember you are the better woman.

Oh Peppermint!<BR> I am so sorry to hear this news. Just want you to know that I am keeping you in my prayers. OW is sooo evil. Sometimes it helps to remember that God will not bless such a sinner or anything they do. Maybe time to think about Plan B? Take care of yourself and let us know how you are doing.

I am having some trouble typing this....<P>No, No, no, no, no, no..............<P>I can't stop the tears.....I 'm so sorry if this is coming out all wrong and stupid.....<P>Pppermint....oh God...it is my greatest fear...<P>you are such an outstanding human being, and I cannot describe my disappointment in Firestorm....beyond F***ing disappointment....and you can tell him that..<P>evryone has said everything above...I just wish I had a really big, cuddly blanket to wrap around you, and I wish that I could tell you that it will be ok, and that you are better off....but you love him, and it doesn't feel that way right now....<P>I'm just bawling here..I can't see the screen and my 4 yr. old wants to know why I am crying...<P>reading your post caused me physical pain...peppermint, cyber hugs seem so inconsequential and silly right now....you need a real one...<P>whatever you do need...please feel free...:<BR>sacred_rain@yahoo.com<P>I have to go now...before I do something stupid and post to firestorm...and include how I really feel...<P>just incase he does read this:<P>you are not a nice human being...to do this again to peppermint disgusts me...your actions and double deceit and betrayal disgust me...I hope all this pain is wporth the devastation in your life...you hypocrite.<P>I am shaking......<P>how could you do this...AGAIN....after seeing THE HELL IT PUT HER THROUGH THE FIRST TIME?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!<P>too upset to contnue...<P>Dylan<p>[This message has been edited by soulloss (edited September 07, 2000).]

What is it with the Loser-itis that our WS's are getting? I am so sorry Peppermint that you have to go through this again. The levels of deception that these people can reach are truly baffling!<P>The OW laughing about it had me PO'ed also. That takes a sick, sick person to do that. Hon, don't even give her the time of day. She wants to see you upset, mad, or hurt - she obviously feeds off of that. She doesn't have any self-worth - she sleeps around and hurts people as a (messed up) way of trying to feel good about herself. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing how upset you are - just pity the witch for how pathetic she is. Maybe in 10 years when her kids are on Jerry Springer, she'll realize what an idiot she is.<P>Continue praying, posting, and give Jennifer or Steve Harley a call.

Wow! So sorry peppermint. You will make it through this, just like we all will. Strength will come. You are doing great for what you are going through.

Peppermint,<P>I’m so sorry to hear (read) that you’re going through this again. I couldn’t believe she did that to you. But remember that what come around, go around. She will pay for it one day. I’m sorry I have to say that.<P>OffOnOnOff<BR>

Peppermint:<P>Recently I discovered my h was still involved in his affair. In fact I caught them at our house. Three weeks as well.<P>I truly believe that the WS wants to be with their spouse, but they get caught up in the affair, before they really know what is happening to them, and the pull is so strong to the OP. When the OP is pulling on them as well, it doesn’t help them in withdrawal. That is why no contact for life is important.<P>To go cold turkey is really hard when the OP doesn't do any LB's, so the OP is still perfect (fantasy) to them. In my case the OP has done so many things this time around that he now sees negative in the OW. His affair had to die a natural death. <P>I am not trying to discourage you, just letting you know how happened in my case. The affair really lasted about 10 months total. We are trying to rebuild and the fact that OW h made a threat on my husband and he attacked him at my h work place has made my husband understand what his actions has caused for many people. With in out in the public doesn’t mean that is bad, just everyone will view your husband differently. Maybe wake him up to reality.<P>When family and friends find out what is happening it is not easy on the WS. People treat them different because of the affair. My husband has been facing this for the last three weeks. IT has been very hard for him to go to work everyday and even go to his family. <P>I understand what you are feeling, just know I care about you and you don’t deserve this treatment. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself as well. <P>Is Firestorm at home? <P>Take care of yourself,<BR>Judy<BR>

Hey everybody,<P>I am feeling much better today, thanks to all of your love, support, and most of all, the prayers. Last night I felt that my prayers were stronger and intensified by all of you, and God granted me some of the peace and comfort I requested.<P>Lora,<BR>Thanks for the kind words. I need to go and reread that part of the book. I agree that the other woman's soul must be black, but frankly I felt like making the outside a bit black and blue as well.<P>Many Tears,<BR>Thank you for the care and support. Please continue to mention me in your prayers.<P>schizzo,<BR>Firestorm knows all. I confronted him as soon as the other woman's husband brought me the proof. Her husband did not know about their previous involvement and thought this was a recent thing. I had to tell him the rest of the story. Thanks for the love, support, and prayers.<P>FaithHopeLove,<BR>Thanks for the prayers. As to your question, I have asked Firestorm to come here and explain why he made those posts. I hope he will.<P>JodiC,<BR>Thank you for the concern in your response. I will welcome all the advice and support I can get.<P>Hi Lor,<BR>Glad that things are going well for you and Guard. I know you went through a very bad time yourself, and it helps to know it's possible to survive. My husband posts as Firestorm, by the way.<P>az allison,<BR>I keep hoping it is just a nightmare, but they don't last for a year. I really appreciate your kind words and advice. I am trying desperately to renew my hope that this can be saved. I hope and pray that you never have to face a reoccurrance like this one.<P>Hi Nicole,<BR>Thanks for the prayers. I think of you often and hope that things are well with you. Did I see something about you going back to school? Good luck with it.<P>wasstubborn,<BR>Your post means a lot to me. I am the better woman, but compared to her that is not a great compliment!<P>mthrrhbard,<BR>Thank you so much for your response. I have seriously considered Plan B, but right now have decided to delay it until May when our youngest child graduates. Firestorm has asked for one last chance, so we'll see.<P>Dear, dear soulloss,<BR>I honestly didn't post sooner because of the pain and disappointment I knew this news would cause, but I need you all too much to face this alone any longer. Firestorm did read your post, in fact called my attention to it. He agrees with everything you said, as do I.<P>Please know that this does NOT mean your husband is as weak as mine is. But you are right, I still love him with all of my being.<P>I am feeling a little bit better after my visit to the other woman's house yesterday. Let's just say that her vehicle is now minus a few windows and lights and will be going in the shop for some major glass replacement. I seriously doubt she is laughing now.<P>I'll admit that when she laughed at me, all the hurt and pain of the past year overwhelmed me and I just let it go, but I did not do it in a public place. I know that it was wrong, but it felt so good to be in control for that few minutes. I went to see her husband and paid for the damage. He wasn't even angry with me, just told me that he understood and felt like doing the same to Firestorm. I told him that if my husband was low enough to laugh at him about this that he had my blessings to take the bat to him and that I would even post the bail.<P>Anyway, thanks for caring about me. I will be writing to you soon.<P>Carolina Belle,<BR>Great name, I AM a Carolina Belle! Thanks for your post, loved that Jerry Springer thing. I also think you are right about her motivation, but also believe that she did this to deliberately hurt me. She often used to tell me that she really envied my marriage and wanted what I had. Of course, I didn't know she meant it that literally.<P>scanman,<BR>Thank you, thank you, thank you.<P>OffOnOnOff,<BR>I agree that she will pay for it one day, as will my husband. But I am just selfish enough to want to see it. Thanks for your kind words.<P>bighope,<BR>I'm sorry for the mess we are both in, and agree with your assessment. My husband's affair started in the spring of 1999, and he confessed on September 27th and it pretty much ended then. The renewed contact began in June of this year, and ended on August 16 when the other woman's husband recorded a phone conversation between my husband and his wife. The number of people who know is limited, but still enough to make this very, very uncomfortable for my husband. I have no sympathy for him at this point. The disappointment and hurt my children are dealing with makes it hard for me to comfort my husband right now, and my poor mother is devastated beyond belief because she adores my husband. The other woman's husband told my mother, just to hurt my husband.<P>I know that more than most people here you know what I am feeling. Thank you for taking the time to respond. Firestorm is still here, apologizing, and asking for forgiveness and another chance. I hope he means it, only time will tell. <P><BR>Thanks to you all, you mean more to me that you know.<P>Peppermint<BR><p>[This message has been edited by peppermint (edited September 07, 2000).]

Peppermint:<P>In November 1998, I drove my truck into my husband's brand new 1999 Suburban...twice.<P>It was a beautiful thing.<P>Catnip =^^=

Dear peppermint,<P>I am so very sorry to hear about the second occurance with betrayal on your H's part. Believe me, the ow woman is a piece of trash that does not deserve the time of day from you, or anyone who is decent.<P>Some day I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive firestorm for the stupidity, selfishness, and unfaithfulness he has shown over the past year. I know firestorm and I also know that he loves you very much and always has. He has never wanted to leave you for the OW, ever. He is still there with you and trying, and maybe with love, hope, and prayers he will turn himself around. If a person is bad, they must turn themself around before they can repair any broken marriage. He is doing this. <P>We betrayers lower ourself to the very bottom of humanity when we choose to get involved with someone else. It is like being sucked into a black hole from which there seems to be no escape, only despair. Nothing is seen clearly from our eyes and the negative changes that we go through seep out of our souls and affect everyone around us. <P>Firestorm has began to change and you can see it in his attitude toward everone around him. He is getting back to his old self and becoming a better person. I know this time he has ended everything with the ow because he has seen exactly what she is. Even as low as he has sunk, she is not worthy of him or his time. Forgivness will come hard this time but I hope you will find the way. The REAL firestorm loves you more than anything else in the world, maybe he is coming back to us all. My prayers are with you for you to find the happiness you deserve and the love, marriage, and life that you want. You do not deserve to suffer the pains of betrayal. Next time you decide to knock all of the windows out of her van, let me help.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{peppermint}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Oh, how sorry I am to see this. You have so often posted such great comforting things...<P>It is hard to understand, isn't it?<P>Despite all this, I do believe that you and Firestorm will get thru this. I know you love him, and I have to believe, based on his posts, that he loves you and sincerely wants to be over this, but got sucked back in. I guess what I'm saying is that, awful as it is, I can see how something like this could happen...unfortunately, being human has its downside.<P>I will pray for you both, and for your marriage to heal fully and become stronger than ever...<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{firestorm & peppermint}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Kathi