I can't say for certain what the STBX said to the OWs, but I can give you my impressions based on what I know of him and conversations we've had. Of course, he *is* a liar, so these are only my impressions.<P>My H ALWAYS told me that he loved me and missed me. And as strange as it may sound, I believe that that has always been true and is still true today. I think both reasons apply though. I think he said it because he felt it, but also because he didn't want me going anywhere while he was conflicted.<P>Was he telling the OP's the same thing? I sincerely doubt it. My H isn't one to fall in love. He can't allow himself to be vulnerable enough for that. <P>I spoke to one OW and she said when he spoke of love, it was only of loving me.<P>Another OW told me that she and my H were in love and when I told him that, he exploded. He said she was delusional. He raved about how she couldn't even hold his interest with a simple conversation. No, he didn't even respect her, so I doubt he would have told her he loved her.<P>All the OW's knew my H was married, so I doubt he'd lie about loving them.<P>Did he keep seeing the OW? Well, he's had at least one OW for the last year and a half. <BR>Why is he still with any of them if he loves me? My theory is that he was afraid that I would not love him knowing what he truly was. He was safe with the OW because they knew he was a betrayer and he had no vested interest in them. He wanted to keep his safety net so that he wouldn't be alone.<P>His latest affair is definitely over now, although they are still living in the same space. He is very vigourously pursuing a reconciliation because he is now convinced that I would forgive him, that I do love him, that we could have a future together, blah, blah, blah, but it is too late for me.