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Joined: Jun 2000
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Hi Guys,<P>I'd like to know, of the ones that were/are separated, how many told their BS that they loved them and missed them on a regular basis during the separation, but kept seeing the OP.<P>If you did do this, were you telling the OP the same thing?<P>Why did you continue to say these things to the BS. Was it because it was true or was it because you were in such conflict and you didn't want them to move on with their life until you figured out what you REALLY wanted?<P>Thank you in advance for helping me understand.<P>Blessings,<BR>Jo<P><P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

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I don't tell my h that I love him..and I quit telling him I miss him also..he's never been here for me to get to know for me to miss him..sorry..

Joined: Dec 1999
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Jo,<P>Hey Lady!!!! I hate to hear about all the hell that has been coming your way. <P>As for your questions. I did honestly miss H. I think that the love that you have as H and W is just so deep. I just wanted H do be the lover that OM was. And at that point Jo, the mind is so messed up. It is just insane....You couldnt imagine the turmoil, hate, grief, guilt, shame, and embarrasment that goes through you. It is just an addiction......<BR>Read my thead about the update. You have posted to me many times on my set baks and contacts... You know alot about my story.. My last post will give you hope.... <P>I wish you the best lady!!!!!!!!<P>Pat yourself on the back!!! You deserve it!!<BR>Prayers<BR>Renee<P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!

Joined: May 2000
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I can't say for certain what the STBX said to the OWs, but I can give you my impressions based on what I know of him and conversations we've had. Of course, he *is* a liar, so these are only my impressions.<P>My H ALWAYS told me that he loved me and missed me. And as strange as it may sound, I believe that that has always been true and is still true today. I think both reasons apply though. I think he said it because he felt it, but also because he didn't want me going anywhere while he was conflicted.<P>Was he telling the OP's the same thing? I sincerely doubt it. My H isn't one to fall in love. He can't allow himself to be vulnerable enough for that. <P>I spoke to one OW and she said when he spoke of love, it was only of loving me.<P>Another OW told me that she and my H were in love and when I told him that, he exploded. He said she was delusional. He raved about how she couldn't even hold his interest with a simple conversation. No, he didn't even respect her, so I doubt he would have told her he loved her.<P>All the OW's knew my H was married, so I doubt he'd lie about loving them.<P>Did he keep seeing the OW? Well, he's had at least one OW for the last year and a half. <BR>Why is he still with any of them if he loves me? My theory is that he was afraid that I would not love him knowing what he truly was. He was safe with the OW because they knew he was a betrayer and he had no vested interest in them. He wanted to keep his safety net so that he wouldn't be alone.<P>His latest affair is definitely over now, although they are still living in the same space. He is very vigourously pursuing a reconciliation because he is now convinced that I would forgive him, that I do love him, that we could have a future together, blah, blah, blah, but it is too late for me.


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