Well, last night my wife told me she thinks she would already have left if it was not for the children. She was in great pain as she agonized over what this will do to the children. "Will this condemn them to ultimately having divorces when they marry?" I did not answer, just listened. Provided hand holding as wails and sobs came from her mouth. She holds great guilt within her already. She made a comment that she sometimes it feels like it would be better if she were ..., and she trailed off. It was obvious to me by the look on her face that she was going to say "dead" but couldn't bring herself to it. I told her don't ever think that way. I encouraged her both in a letter and verbally to more actively seek support from her counselor (Once a week doesn't seem enough to me). She has taken to drinking 5-7 beers per night, and I advised her that this could not help her make a clear and proper decision regarding her future. Now people on this forum encourage me to begin Plan A. As I enterpret Plan A, I am basically supposed to put my foot down and tell her to never see him again. I'd love to do that but feel that her fragile condition could result in catastrophe if I do that. She is still with me, at my house, at my table, and in my bed. She feels that wihtout the passion she feels when with him, life is not worth living. I'm trying to encourage family time (go to the park, etc.). This has been fairly well received. I've tried to go for together time for the two of us, and other than renting movies, this has not been accepted. I don't want to drive her back to him, but I feel by forcing them apart I would be doing just that. My question is if I allow her to see him, will the affair run its natural course and die, or do I need to make it as inconvenient as possible? I would appreciate any and all suggestions. I have ordered the Surviving an Affair book, but have yet to recieve it.
