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#402261 09/12/00 01:38 PM
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1
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finner Offline OP
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 1
Husband recently told me that a little over a year ago he almost went too far with a very good friend of mine. Said he was very drunk on tequila. They didn't have intercourse but they were close enough in my book. I trust him that he feels awful about it and am glad he told me instead of the friend. I now don't trust her and find it very difficult to call her my friend. We've been friends for over 10 years. I tell my husband that I still love him and he understands that he should have never gotten in the situation in the first place. He loves me and knows that he has a great marriage and family. So why do I feel so confused? I trust him and know it won't happen again. It's never happened before.

#402262 09/14/00 03:21 PM
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 14
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VAR Offline
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 14
I think all of us are confused when the one we love betrays us. You are lucky that it only went as far as it did. Most of the people on this site have spouses with full-blown affairs, moving out, dividing families, etc. Hopefully, your husband is telling the truth about the extent of the involvement, but even if not, the details don't help. The reason this happens is that for some reason, your friend satisfied some important need at that time that you did not. Your marriage will require work to repair, because you have lost trust in him. THere is much knowledge to be had at this website. If he wants the marriage to succeed, you can be in great shape. You need to learn how to love each other above all else again by satisfying all of each other's important needs. Go through Dr. Harley's basic concepts. Print them out. Both do the questionaires. And learn and work to make your marriage better. I hope to have that opportunity. You must take it now, before your feelings or his feelings grow more confused.


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