Hi all<P>I have lurked around here for a year of so.<BR>Very interesting place and educational.<BR>I posted a few times.<BR>Put one in that (about thongs) when I went back and read it days later i figured out that what i type is not always going to say what i am meaning. Seems like some people got wraped up in the idea that I expected her to do things that were very uncomfortable.<P>I had an intesting event the other night.<P>My wifes cell phone stated "rining" about midnight.<BR>I was watching late nite TV.<BR>She keeps the phone in her purse.<BR>I got it out and took a look. It did not sem to be a incoming call. Maybe it was a mis set alarm.<BR>Anyway while pusing buttons i found some numbers in the memory.<P>Honest she has kept the phone to herself, it is in her name. I did not even have the number to it for months.<P>WELL<P>The one number that came up was to a area of the contry that her OM is in.<BR>I hit redial and guess who it sounded like answered?<BR>The OM.<BR>Yes i know him and have worked with him.<P>I just hung up.<P>Hurt like hell.<BR>Had hoped he was gone out of the picture.<BR>S by then had draged herself out of bed to see why her phone was beeping.<P>I told her i saw the number. Did not tell her I called it.<BR>Told her right up front that my assumption was that it was OM.<BR>She as always cclaimed they are just friend. Same old long story.<P>I said to her she is an adult and i guess she can talk to whoever she wants.<P>So now what do I do.<P>Big question anybody have luck finding address from a phone number? I did some web searching with no luck.<P>Then again why am i bothering. I herad his voice.<P>I will be on a trip for three days.<P>I will most liekly not get on line to read your posts.<P>She is so cold. Has told me she only needs me for my money.<P>I could go on and on. Kids are getting up. I wnat to spend some tiem with them. I leave at noon today.<P><BR>Yes I know thee are spell chekers, but all that takes more time. Between my typing and spelling my entry my make you LOL.

If she tells you she needs you only for money then it is time for you to think about your<BR>future with or without your wife. She is <BR>still contacting the OM and your response<BR>is she is an adult and can communicate with<BR>anyone she wishes? This is simply ridiculous.<BR>Therefore since she is an adult, she can<BR>therefore have relations with anyone she<BR>chooses? What makes you think she will not find someone else down the line if she tells<BR>you she needs you only for your money? You <BR>will need drastic changes on your part to salvage your marriage. The status quo will eventually lead to another affair or a divorce. Good Luck.

I think the web site is infospace.com where you can do a reverse lookup by putting in the phone # and the full name and address comes up if it's not an unlisted number. At least if she denies it was his you can prove it was. My H will deny everything until I have hard copy proof (and then he still denies for a while).<P>Good luck!<BR>

This site is pretty good I thought. It has a link at the left for reverse look-up, too.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.anywho.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.anywho.com/</A>

I don't know what I can tell you, except that I have been there. I found phone numbers from OW, and she calls my husband at his mother's house. His mother thinks I am the one who had the affair. So she is encouraging this mess with my H. and the OW. Doesn't matter to me what my mother-in-law thinks. This is not about her, it is about H. not willing to give up the OW. I let the phone numbers go, I didn't need the pain, or reliving the anguish of just finding out. I believe that if you find out it is the OM, it will just increase your grief and anger. Take care--gn

Thanks for the feedback.<BR>I tried some of the sites. The number must be unlisted because it comes up with no information.<BR>Not really important now. As I said i called the number and i know it was OM that answered. S also admitted she contacts him "some"<P>I told her that i considered her actions totaly disrespectfull to both me and the marriage. She has little to say. Wants her space. Says having me in the house is stress. <P>I have attmeped plan A for very long time. I do my share of LB. We had a 2 month seperation in late summer thanks to my job. She wanted more, but i needed to move on to the the location we are at now. She did not wante to move here, but did. Says i forced her to move here. You see i did not support her plan to move 600 mi from here with the kids at the time of the move. Anyway getting off track.<P>S has gone with me to one session here with a counsler. She refuses to go back. She tells me she is getting help here in town on her own.<P>I have tons of questions and concerns, but need to get to bed. This all stinks.