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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1
I just found out about a month ago that my husband was surfing the net and trying to find "couples" to swing with. I knew nothing about this! He met one couple (said he met them through his work) and we got together for dinner and a night out. Little did I know that my husband was already having sex with the wife of this couple and the idea was that I would have sex with the other man. Well, I felt very uncomfortable around these people and told my husband that. He said that was ok, we didn't have to see them anymore. Little did I know he was continuing his relationship with her, they even did a stint at a motel took nude photos of each other and posted them on the net. Well, now I have come to find out that he had met two other women on the internet and has had sex with both of them as well. He claims that he is no longer doing this and that he wants to save our marriage. We are both going to counseling both of us on antidepressants. I just don't understand why he was leading this secretive life? I can't understand what happened at all. This all just came down on me like a bomb. Right now I feel numb. But I have periods of time when I can't stop crying. I told him that in order for us to move on we cannot talk about any of this stuff that happend unless we are the counselors office. I hope I am doing the right thing. Any suggestions out there as to why something like this might have happened. Oh,and he just turned 50 a few months ago. I think he lost his mind.<P>------------------<BR>

Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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Joined: Sep 1999
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Welcome <B>Bombedout</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Check out... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/008606.html" TARGET=_blank>sex addict/serial cheater recovery book suggestions </A><P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P> [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A><p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited May 03, 2001).]

Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 150
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I've Been There! I know exactly how you feel.....for us, my husband has been depressed, work was getting to him, a long period of mid-life crisis and - he has a serious sexual addiction. <P>After couseling for over a year, we are now almost through our divorce. For me, I just couldn't get over it and at 40, was afraid I would be in this same place at 45 and didn't want to do that. <P>It has been very hard - we DO love each other, but we are not the best together, (it has been a rocky 20 year relationship). We have decided we needed to move on, seperately - we are good friends, but not good married to each other. <P>I hope you can work through it, counseling is MANDETORY with a good one. I wish my husband would consider medication for his depression - but, as usual, "I don't have a problem" is all he can say - he is in deep deep denial and always has been. It was just not healthy for me to stay with him.


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