My son and I put up the artificial tree tonite, and I put on the lights. My daughter and son and I will decorate tommorrow before they go to their mothers. She is taking them shopping for about the fourth weekend in a row. I wonder what she plans on doing with them after Christmas when there won't be a need for shopping so much !!<P>I think my stbx is Plan Bing me! I saw her at our d's bball game. She was passing info thru our son to me. She did compliment me, she said, "your daughter is a good bball player." I guess she forgot she is her d too!<P><BR>Something else I realized this week. I probably will be having the kids 90% of the time. I've noticed that the last two weekend stbx had off, that she worked a 12 hr shift one day in that weekend. So that means, she will not want the kids the day she works and the day after while she sleeps.<P>Also since om works 12 hr shifts and night shifts, he won't want the kids around when he is trying to sleep, so guess who will be their babysitter!!!<P>So I am preparing myself mentally to not have much of a social life the next 3-4 yrs. I don't think I could get a babysitter or leave them alone that much. I think that they would feel abandoned for sure.<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Bob,<P>We started to decorate the tree this morning...<P>I was hoping to have my W put on the lights again... that was <B>her</B> job!<P>My son put on the "Trans-Siberian Orchestra" CD we have... I think the kids saw my tears... they left helping me... half way through the lights... When I finished the lights... tehy came back to put on the decorations!<P>This music CD has some incredible lyrics... I will post one song... a promised others I would post it.<P>Wnough about me... I'll post later<P>Bob...<P>Be glad for the time with your kids...<BR>I to am 85% with my kids... <BR>(that means <<15% with OM!)<P>Don't plan social life that is 3-4year in advance... who knows what will happen!<P>Jim

Bob,<P>She is a piece of work! YOUR daughter....what kind of mother is that?? <P>I do not understand her. Why is sje working the extra shifts? For more money? Maybe if she didn't go shopping every weekend he wouldn't need to have the extra money and could give the kids something of more value -like her TIME and ATTENTION!<P>Yikes, this is likely to really put a strain on you. Nice that you guys got the tree started and something to look forward to tomorrow. <P>Keep the good thoughts. Somehow, you will make it through all of this. I fell that one day she will profoundly regret abandoning her children...........<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

RMA,<BR>The work situation is actually funny(?). She was only workiing part-time when we were together, but when she moved out, I don't think she realized she needed more money to live. The funny part is she blames me for having to work full time in order to pay this huge amount of child support I'm demanding. She keeps forgetting that it is state mandated and I had nothing to do with the amount, except I did let her off with paying based on her part time hours.<P>As for her shopping, she doesn't have anything else to do and really doesn't know what to do with the kids. She never "played" with the kids once they got older. That just isn't her.<P>She will regret it. The kids will not want to go shopping all the time and will soon say they don't want to go, that they want to be with their friends. I guess the winter months will be her ally, but once it warms up, there is no way they will wnat to go.<P>Jim,<BR>Yea, I guess that is a good way to look at it, that the time with me they won't be around om.<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Hey RWD,<P>I'd have to say that having your kids most of the time is a good thing. When my first XW took off with the children, many years ago, to Washington state I didn't hear from them unless she wanted money. I was not even aware they were leaving until that same day. I lost many years seeing them grow up. Fortunately now I am making up for lost time. My oldest son and I couldn't be closer. I'm working on the younger boy. <P>I agree with Jim, you don't know what's going to happen in the next few years, let alone the next few hours.<P>It's not over yet. Hey, what's with the fake tree?<BR> <P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

We always had one because we always traveled a good bit during the holidays as we used to be 4-5 hrs away from our families.<P>Whenwe moved to Oh from Hbg, PA. we started getting a live tree for the living room and used the arti tree in the family room.<P>The other problem(?) is that in the family room, the only open spaces to put the tree are near heaters.<P>I may do it anyway next year. I really didn't feel like putting up a tree at all.

Hi RWD -<P>I know what you mean about not wanting to put one up at all..... I am lucky though - without kids, I can get away with my 3 foot artificial tree!! Just take off the bag and presto - instant Xmas Tree!!!!! A little decorating of the mantle and a couple of doodads on the front and back doors - all set!!!<P>XMas magic in 10 minutes!!!!<P>As far as Wife and the shopping bit - you're right!! What is she going to do with them when shopping doesn't cut it? And how can she do all this shopping if she's so poor? Hmmmmm? Interesting!!<P>You will be fine having the kids most of the time....hey, could be worse - they could be real little, then you'd really have your hands full!!!! This is working out well for all of you - the kids will have a stable environment with their friends and familiar surroundings and the best Dad who keeps them safe and loved!!! Even if Mom is a little off!!<P>You're doing great!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba<p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited December 12, 1999).]

Hey Guys,<P>I will be damned before I don't go all out for Christmas with the decorating and stuff. I'm not happy with my situation but it will not bring me down for the Holidays. This year I got the biggest tree that the house has ever seen. I did not do this by choice. It didn't look that big on the lot. I can't get to my front door because the love seat is in the way now. I have a back door so I can still get out.<P>I miss Val terribly, not just because of the Holidays, just because I do really love her. If I don't keep it together I will miss me even more. I and you will survive!<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>