I have gotten good feed back from the forum. I want to no why can't men just tell you the truth up front.

Here goes.

I have been divorced for approximatley 2 1/2 years.Since that time, I have not dated, or have I had a serious realtionship or for a fact relations with any man. I have just basically been keeping to myself and if I am approached I would tell the man that I was not interested and not ready to be involved with no one. Regardless if it was just for conversating and just getting out of the house.

I meet this guy in December of 2001. Something really attracted me to him, so much so I approached him and gave him my number to contact me. After I got home I thought about and said to myself I may have been to forward, should I or should'nt I? Well what's done is done. I was really attracted to him. I never thought that day would come. Well he called and we had a long conversation and the conversation was very interesting. We talked about our past and furture and what we would like to have in the furture. Yes he had been married and he was waiting for his divorce to be final and that he was just hanging out until that was final and he was not rushing anything. Well time goes on, his birthday was in January 2002, I thought enough of him to do something nice on his birthday, this was my choice. So I told him to come over and I would do something nice for him. He did not ever show and I did'nt hear from him for until the following Sunday and he did'nt even say anything. Each time he would call are visit we seem to have more and more in common the same intrest, some times the same ideal. It even gotten to the point he was asking me do different things to help him, (as far as administrative things). I started feeling like maybe this was the time to let my guards down just a little. He spent time with my daughter and she seemed to really like him and they would always have fun together. As time rolls on, there was a time where the phone calls stopped and he stopped visiting. The last time I spoke to him was February 12, 2002, and from the time I did not here from him until March 18, 2002. He did'nt have much to say, I explained to him that I did not need that in my life and that I would not tolerate it at this time. He said that he was sorry and that he needed some time and that his divorce was final. And from there we moved forward (I thought). It happened again, I talked and saw him last on April 23rd 2002 and on May 26th, 2002 I dropped a letter off to him letting him no that I don't appreciate what is going on. And that I thought he would be just a little different than the next person, after talking to him and listening to what had transpired in his past. Well guess what he showed up on June 1, 2002 and he was talking and this is what he said. Everything I ever wanted has come true. I check you out and everything has come back positive. He said that he value or friendship and that he did not want to loose friendship with me and that right now he was not looking for a serious relationship are a committment at this time. I respected that and I told him never once, did I try to force are push him into relationship are a committment. He said he thought I should no that. Well on June 9th 2002 I got the news that he was engaged to be married. I was to out done. He never once said anything to me about getting married. I tried to call him he never would answer any of his phones. So I let it go. Well on July 1, 2002 he called and he still did'nt say that he was getting married he was just having a causal coversation. Until I got tired of what he was talking about, I told him that I thought was little of him not to tell me he was getting married. He did'nt say anything he just held the phone, and finally he said that he really considered me but ..... And left it at that. I hung up the phone and he was married on July 7, 2002, but I had no ideal he was getting married that day, I called and left a message on his cell phone. I told him that I did not appreciate the way he handled things between us and I did not consider us to be friends like he said we were, becuase if we were friends, you should have been able to talk to me and not let me find out through other people, and that you would have told me that night you came over talking about you did not want a relationship or committment. So I do not consider us friends. I also told him that, I thought I was so close to getting on with my life and that my past was really behind me, what you did was stirred it up and made it worse, you heart me just like my ex-husband hurt me in someone way (by not begin truthful). I really like you and you let me down. I can't say I wish you well I can only say I wish you. But always remember this. I may not have all the luxury of cars, clothes, diamonds, but I do have a heart that would have given you so much love that you could not handle and you did not want it. Always remember I may not be the shinny diamond ring but I am a star that would light up anyone heart.

I said all of that to say, why do men play games?

If there is any one out there that no the answer please email me at mrslchednrick@hotmail.com or respond here.

BNG;

All I can say is that the world is full of people who do strange and incomprehensible things. But the important thing to remember is that it is NOT just MEN who do this, Women also do these things.

It is not a gender thing, it is a morals and ethics and respect thing.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believe n god:
<strong>I have gotten good feed back from the forum. I want to no why can't men just tell you the truth up front.

I said all of that to say, why do men play games?

If there is any one out there that no the answer please email me at mrslchednrick@hotmail.com or respond here.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sounds like this cat was PLAYING THE FIELD and you were one of many ladies he was dating. I too, got divorced and was emailing/calling/seeing 6 different ladies at a time a year later - looking for 'possible long term relationship' however, I was honest and up-front with each lady I was seeing. Your friend (if you want to call him that) was just playing you - sad to say - and he didn't have the GUTS to be up front and honest with you - I'd have to say that someone like him wouldn't have been worth keeping anyway - consider yourself sadder but wiser for having 'lost' him. Mr. Right is out there - somewhere - just keep praying - he will come in God's time! I went thru a period of discouragement also and thought I'd never get married again either. Keep the Faith - and your head up - God will honour that.
God bless you,
Harold

Thank you for words of encouragement.

Why do women play games? They flirt with you, you approach them, they pull back, they reel you in, they disavow you, they leave, they come back, they get mad at you for no apparent reason, they make passionate love to you, they want you forever.... next thing you know it, she's had an A for 8 months and here I was thinking we were happily married.

Remember when you dated? There's no committment... no reassurance of promises. But coming out of a divorce, separation, or a marriage... it's all you can remember. There's a large part of dating that is callous and manipulative (remember everything you used to do to "put your best foot forward" - look at all these great qualities I have!).

In all of my contemplations about rebuilding or divorcing... one thing strikes me: NOT LETTING MY WIFE'S AFFAIR DEFINE THE TONE OF ANY SUBSEQUENT RELATIONSHIPS WOULD BE VERY HARD - EITHER WITH HER OR WITHOUT HER.

Don't let it get to you. It's part of dating. Learn from it, move on.

Lyxa has it right -thats dating! Actually love is that way to,very unpredictable.I only dated my husband 3 1/2 mos. He was the one and I knew it.