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I predict by your 1000'th post, you will have decided you have had enough and finally divorce him!

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Sue,

You are asking question's that you have already asked yourself, over and over again.

I will ask you this, WHAT DO YOU WANT? What do you gain by staying married? Do you love your H?

Sue, I do love my W, I can do no other. I know you love your children, but do something's for yourself.

As my IC told me, move your life forward's, your H will either fallow or he wont, but THAT is his decission, and make it HIS decission. He either prove's his love for you, or he give's it up, his choice, his decission.

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Hi Sue,

Just stopped by to say Hi. Things are OK on this end, wondering how they are on yours.

I know you will post when you are ready, but wanted you to know we are still thinking about you.

Hope the kids are happy - hope their mom is too.

SS

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Not much new going on.

Kids are now playing baseball.

D's dance recital is coming up in a couple of months. I have to get her costume ready. Not much to do to it this year. Sew snaps on the shoes for the bows. Last year, I had to sew on the skirt. It could be worse. I recall helping my sister with my neices costumes. I would spend about an hour sewing the skirt on, they had sew much frill. And my sister would have my neice in about 3 classes, which meant three costumes.

D wants t-ball, we might put her in it.

Still job hunting for a full time job. Not much out there if you have less than 1 - 5 years experience. I did find one I called on. They called me back. It was going to an internal applicant. Oh well. Keep trying, something will open up.

Gotta get the kids up for school.

Tonight I have a CE class

H and I are doing okay. I'm sure he thinks we are doing better than I think we are.

H will not do any kind of counseling.

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Hi Sue
I miss you <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Boy our H's are alike!!!
Mine thinks all is well on the home front and I think I have just come to a big fork in the road and not sure which road to take.

I am tired...............

I feel like even tho there are some improvements over the last 15m there has not been enough.He is back to being the same old H of the pre-A days.It is hard for me to live with this.I wanted and expected so much more,a happier more loving relationship but all I have is what I had before and I was not happy and supposedly he was not after all that was why he had the A.So what does this tell you?? It tells me that we are not doing well and I am tired of pretending that we are.

I asked him to expose his A to the kids........I know big step,big risk but I feel without a major change and him having to face what he did and pay the conciquence he will never change.

He wont do it,he keeps coming up with excuses,last night he got drunk tonight and tomorrow he works the late shift and I leave wed.for my vacation.He will avoid this just like everything else.

Sue you want me to pick you up on my way to NY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ April 19, 2004, 11:19 PM: Message edited by: gingersnap ]</small>

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Hi Sue,
just for your "just in case" file
Article about SOCal ( Riverside is inland, kind of hot and desert, but still only about an hour from an ocean)

House call
Riverside Community Hospital aims to recruit nurses from O.C., Los Angeles by paying closing costs on a new home.

By MAYRAV SAAR
THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER


Angelica Hernandez is home-grown. She was raised in Anaheim. She earned her nursing degree in Santa Ana. Her first two jobs out of school were in Mission Viejo and Garden Grove.

But Hernandez, 26, is leaving town, lured by an offer on a billboard over the Garden Grove (22) Freeway. "Attention RNs: Dream Job. Dream House," the billboard proclaims. "Closing costs paid. Riverside Community Hospital."

Hernandez may have lived her whole life in Orange County, but she's planning to build a new life in Riverside. With a national nursing shortage showing little sign of abating, hospitals have offered nurses all manner of incentives: free cars, paid tuition for advanced degrees, hefty signing bonuses.

But medical experts and housing officials say Riverside Community Hospital's new recruitment campaign has taken the competition for nurses to a new level. The hospital is targeting RNs in neighboring communities, promising not just a better deal, but a better life.

"We're using one of the attributes of the Inland Empire, which is the affordability of a home," Ann Matich, spokeswoman for Riverside Community Hospital, said of the medical center's $600,000 marketing campaign. "Do you want to bring your family up in a home that provides space and a place for your children to play in? If that's what you want, we can offer that."

The median cost of housing in Riverside in $300,000. The most recent reports show Orange County's median home price has risen to $485,000, according to market tracker DataQuick.

Nurses who move to Riverside can afford not only a home, but also a sizeable one, hospital officials said.

"What we used to consider middle-income professions are no longer really middle income within the cost of living for Orange County," said Scott Darrell, executive director of the Kennedy Commission, which advocates building affordable and low-income housing. "A starting nurse with two kids or a starting police officer with two kids are typically earning 50 (percent) to 80 percent of the median income in Orange County, which is considered low income."

Because nurses earn on average $40,000 to $50,000, this means more nurses are likely to load up their U-Hauls, housing experts predict.

"Having affordable housing near the workplace is critical to hiring new employees," said Ken Domer, spokesman for the Orange County Housing and Community Development Department. "These very good nurses are being lured away by affordable housing."

Some hospital officials dismiss those predictions as short-lived. While sign-on bonuses are still common, medical centers are moving away from the more aggressive tactics they've used to attract new nurses, said David Langness, spokesman for Tenet, which owns or operates nine local hospitals.

"It makes your veteran nurses mad," Langness said. "They say, 'Hey, here's someone fresh out of nursing school getting $5,000 to $10,000. Where's my bonus?'

"I think they're waning now as we speak, and they'll continue to wane. Most hospitals have decided that it's smarter to put money into retention," he said.

But hospitals are aware that the lure of homeownership is an enticing one. St. Joseph Health System, which owns three hospitals in Orange County, and the Orange County Affordable Home Ownership Alliance are designing a program to help keep local nurses and other health-care employees from fleeing the area. The details are not yet worked out, but the program would include education programs to encourage hospital workers to become first-time homebuyers.

"Until Orange County is able to think about its labor force and how to retain its labor force, we're going to be behind," said Maya Dunne, vice president of community outreach for St. Joseph Health System. "It's not just the nurses we need to think about, but it's the broader wage earners that don't have any options."

Hernandez agrees. The newborn nursery nurse, who is planning to marry her high school sweetheart in November, bought a home with a future family in mind.

And she is already house proud, gushing about the two-story, three-bedroom home she is moving into next week in an up-and-coming neighborhood of Riverside.

"There's a big yard. It's beautiful. I can't believe it," Hernandez said. "There is no way I could have afforded a home in Orange County."

Hernandez was paying $2,500 to rent a home in Mission Viejo. Her mortgage payments will be $1,950. Plus, Riverside Community Hospital is picking up the tab for her advanced degree.

"I'm in shock," she said. "I'm saving money, getting a house, getting a degree and working at a great hospital."

"When people think of Riverside, they think there's nothing out there. There's just dirt," she said. "But it's growing so fast. There's a Costco and a 24-hour Fitness. That's all I need. They have a lot of cultural places. I know there is a lot of bike riding out there, too." She hopes that over time, the rest of her family will make regular treks from Rancho Santa Margarita to visit. Or even move.

"My mom is thinking about relocating out here," she said. "She's a nurse, too." Matich and other Riverside Community Hospital officials believe that, as word spreads about their offer, more nurses will be recruited to the 372-bed medical center. To improve care and meet state-mandated nurse-to-patient ratios, the hospital hopes to recruit 120 nurses to its pool of 700. Since the program began in February, the hospital has hired 81.

Hernandez hasn't moved yet, but she began work at Riverside Community a few weeks ago in the newborn nursery. She recovers babies after they are born and takes care of them until they leave the hospital - a job she absolutely loves.

"One patient the other day said, 'You have the best job in the world,' " Hernandez said. "I said, 'I know.' "

FBOW
Wishing you well

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Thanks FBOW,

I have to laugh when they talk about a "national" shortage. They have not looked at my area, I will keep this in mind. I have been thinking about applying for my CA license.

A nursing recruiter even told me, that right now, the shortage is not what it was, so they can be picky at the moment.

I will keep it in mind. Right now, there is two I'm going to put in for. They are within the same organization I work weekends for, different facility, so that means I will be given preferential consideration over an outside applicant. If anyone within that facility is applying, that individual will be considered before I will.

I figured it out, If they offered me one of the two positions, I could opt out of benefits (especially on the one with the less hours), get paid a higher rate of pay, and I could easily make 20k more than I make right now. When I did clinicals at that facility I am looking at, a new nurse there, told me what they pay if you opt out of benefits. Since WH has benefits, I won't need mine. (especially since I checked into what it would cost me). I figure, I could work this for 6 mo to 1 year, get my experience and go to work somewhere else that provides cheaper benefits.

I am going to check if I can opt out of specific items or if you have to opt out of all or take all. If I get the other position which is close to full time, then I will want the vacation and sick time. Wish me luck on this.

Marriage wise, seems appear better. I'm not 100% confident that it is better. He is treating me better.

He claims he ended it with her, could not provide proof. Says he lost it, when the computer got a virus. I reminded him that I wanted to be there when he sent it, so there is no proof that it was sent, so I don't know for sure.

Right now, as usual, I have too much going on. Going to concentrate on applying for these two openings, hoping that I get one. If I do, then I will be able to provide for my children without worrying about any contributions from him or how long it will take to get CS from him if things take a nose dive or I decide I will never be able to trust him again and it is not worth it. Right now, I am not worried about it.

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Sue,

I don't know where you live, but all over the Internet and the news the "nursing shortage" cry is being heard. Every article I read says it's only going to get worse too. That's crummy for us, but good for you....and I hope you are able to find something soon. Check out this website for opportunities in every part of the country.

http://healthcare.careerbuilder.com...efe644593b3bb3c11ca9d4b0c-137233503-wj-2

What is the status of your husband's affair? Has he ended it? Sent a nc letter? Recommitted to the marriage? Opened his life to you? Please give us an update.

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Hi Sue,

I thought some about how you are doing.

It seems to me that it must be better for you, or you would have been here telling us about things more often. That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

I am still hoping that you helped set up the proper rules for recovery, and that he is living them to your satisfaction.

Still praying that you get the full time job you are looking for.

Ginger, not to hijack, but you never reported on your trip - do you think we would just ignore it?

SS

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LOL didn't know anyone really cared!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

The trip was wonderful and very needed.It was so nice to see a part of the country I had never seen before.MOMof1 and I hit it off like we had known each other all our lives.She said that our time together was very good for her also.
We were able to talk about our feelings with no fear of them being beaten down,we laughed together,cried together and had a whole lot of fun together.
Niagra Falls was so wonderful and amazing.

I feel so very blessed to have become friends with several women here on the forum.

I truly believe God puts people in our life for a reason at the time we need them most.
This forum has helped me so much over the last year,altho I dont post as much as I use to I still look at MB as the place that saved me from the darkest hour of my life.

As for me and H,things are still rocky somedays I think it is me,somedays I think it is because of him and the lack of change.
I still feel very confused about all of this, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> I am still in such disbelief that it ever happened.

I guess this is a situation where only time will tell.
Thanks for asking SS.How is everything in your world these days??

Hi Sue,I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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LOL didn't know anyone really cared!!!

So, you admit you don't know us very well? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />


The trip was wonderful and very needed.It was so nice to see a part of the country I had never seen before. MOMof1 and I hit it off like we had known each other all our lives. She said that our time together was very good for her also.
We were able to talk about our feelings with no fear of them being beaten down,we laughed together, cried together and had a whole lot of fun together.


I still think you gals ought to have gal friends, and us guys ought to have guy friends - for some things. I am glad you got to talk - I just wish it was your H talking to you most of the time.

Niagra Falls was so wonderful and amazing.

So where are the pictures?


I truly believe God puts people in our life for a reason at the time we need them most.
This forum has helped me so much over the last year,altho I dont post as much as I use to I still look at MB as the place that saved me from the darkest hour of my life.


I see you come and go sometimes, wondered how you were doing. You are much stronger now, but I hate to read you are still uncertain.

As for me and H, things are still rocky somedays I think it is me,somedays I think it is because of him and the lack of change.
I still feel very confused about all of this, I am still in such disbelief that it ever happened.


My W and I continue to learn and grow. I still read more than she does, and initiate converstaions much more. It is good for us to get things out in the open that bothered us for years. It sounds like your H wants to continue to ignore them and pretend they don't exist. I hope you can find a way to work on it with him. Problems don't go away, they just hide in the dark and grow. I worry about Sue for the same reasons - you both need recovery, not bury and go on.

I guess this is a situation where only time will tell.

Is there any continued improvement at all? Or do you just try to cope with the feelings you still have? I don't mean to bring it all up again, but - well you know, it would be best to fully recover.


Thanks for asking SS.

People do care about you - You have value in and of yourself, independant of how your marriage is going. I hope you know that.

How is everything in your world these days??

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Grand daughters are wonderful - lots of fun. Troubles come and go, but never stop for good - you know what I mean. On the whole, I am happy. Might as well be - don't you think? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

W loves me, I love W. We face troubles together. Life is good.

SS

<small>[ May 19, 2004, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

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SS

Yes in ways I am stronger but I do not feel like we are near full recovery yet.

True both men and women need friends,but it would be great if H would open up and talk to me more.

I worry also about the "bury and go on" recovery and that is really what my H would like.I feel it will be the worst thing we could do.

I worry about Sue also but I also know how strong she is and I trust her judgment.

I am glad that things are going well for you and your W she is lucky to have an H that is willing to talk and deal with problems.

Thanks for caring <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

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Hi All

Is it better? Maybe, I'm not sure. Some days are good, some days are not. WH, is home more, he is more considerate, but then again, are we in a honeymoon phase at the moment. He is asking me to do more with him. Is he behaving because he knows he has to? Is he trying to lure me into a false sense of security to only resume prior activities when he thinks it is “safe” to do so?

Did he end the Affair? I honestly do not know. He says he did, says he sent an e-mail as I requested. During the time I confronted, his computer was having a lot of problems because of a virus, he claims he deleted it when he cleaned out his e-mail trying to clean up his computer. So, did he send the e-mail he says he did or did he only tell me that he did to pacify me and shut me up?

I know she still e-mails him, he does not respond, if he does, he cleans up his e-mail before I can find any trace of him communicating with her via e-mail.

She used to hardly e-mail him with things to do, and now she is e-mailing him a lot with suggestions of things to do. So, does that mean he is talking to her less and she is getting pushy, trying to keep things going, keep up contact? That tells me that either he did not end it as I asked telling her there is to be no more contact between them, and maybe pulled the “we can still be friends” routine, or he did not end it at all. Or he did end it, and she is not accepting it. It does not matter, because he is not doing what I asked, what he said he would.

How am I dealing with this? What am I going to do about it? I am reevaluting what do I want from this marriage. Even if I was more pushy about this, do I even want to save this marriage? I don’t know, somedays I do, somedays I don’t. Somedays I do, and I think he is not worth it. So, I now spend my time doing what I enjoy. During the down time, I try to decide if there is room for him in my life.

Plan for recovery, there is none. He is a lot like Ginger’s H. Ignore it, and the problem will go away. In a way, the problem will go away, they call that divorce. I think about it a lot, divorce that is. Somedays I want one, somedays I don’t. Somedays the thought of a divorce hurts, and somedays, I see it as freedom and welcome it.

Some of the bad days are because of my own thoughts, questions, distrust, guess I am becoming a regular cynic. Yesterday for example, I was convinced I he could never be faithful and that I should move on. Today, I think I want my marriage to work and would like to plan a future together. Last week, I was making plans to find a new job, save money and boot his butt out of the house. (I did submit the application for two internal postings)

This is what is going on. I don’t post much because not much has changed, and I don’t want the pressure of what everyone thinks I should do. I have to sort this out for myself, and unfortunately for me, I take a long time to do this. But once I do, I never have regrets.

I think about moving to another state sometimes, but my support network is here, my sisters are here. They are the ones who, if I divorce will be helping me care for my kids if I have to work an off shift, during a time when daycare is not available or hard to find. I have to think about this too. I have never had a babysitter (other than my daycare provider) that was non-family. I don’t trust many people with my children. I am probably too overprotective of them. Would WH be willing to move to another state? I’m not sure. I know if I said lets move to San Diego, he’d be packed and car loaded before the realtor would have time to get in his car and drive over to the house to list it.

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Hi Sue,

I would like to do a really long post and address your comments line by line. Not to pick you apart, but to support you. Since I don't have time to do that, I will just do a little short one, but I want you to read a lot into it. OK?

First, remember that friends (if they are real friends) will sometimes say things that you don't want to hear. This has nothing to do with the rest of my post - I just wanted you to think about it. We have no right (ever) to expect that you will always take our suggestions. I hope I have not given you that impression. Now, laugh at this - isn't it funny that you stay away from your own thread - Laugh a little, and smile. You can come here any time you want, and say what you want, and take or leave any advice you get.

Now, as for the rest..........
How happy are you?

My thinking was that you must be happy most days. Conversation is one of your more important needs. You have lots of friends here that you enjoyed talking to. I hope you talk to H more, and I hope you talk to friends and family in person. If you are doing that, It seems to me that you are more comfortable with your M, and that you can talk to others now much more easily than while the A was full force. If that is the case, trust your feelings - that should tell you something.

Now, it may be a good thing to spend less time here, but remember you really can come any time you want, and say what's on your mind.

One last thing - I have seen couples recover from an A, and succeed without a plan for recovery. It is always the same reason - one party won't help with it. I know it can still work long term in many cases. It does look like it is easier if both are on the same "plan", but I know it can work anyway.


Thanks for coming back and letting us know how you are. You are pretty important to many of us here. I admit I still worry about you. I'll try to quit if you want me to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Doubts and fears are natural, but you are still there, and so is he. I find that interresting.

SS

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Ginger,
Is it gradually getting better - or just on permanant hold? What are your feelings on that?

SS

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SS – you have always been respectful and considerate when posting your honest opinion, thoughts, concerns or suggestions. So have others, and then there have been the posts that have all but scolded me for not doing things the way that they thought it should be done as if I am a small child who does not possess the ability to make decisions for myself. I am always open to suggestions, opinons and concerns. I am not open to negativity, bossiness, and control.

Yes, it is funny that I stay away from my own thread, and when I do post, I censor what I say with a fine tooth comb. There have been some responses I have received that I read as saying, “I have to have a plan for recovery, without it, recovery is not possible”, “if he has not complied to the letter with NC, then I have to go to Plan B”, “he has to prove to me that he is not contacting her, if not then I have to go to Plan B”. Yes, I would like to see some if not all of this as reality. However, Plan B, has consequences to my children that I am not ready to have them face. We don’t fight, he is home more and does more as a family. The kids are feeling more secure at home. My oldest has recently said “Mom, you remember when I asked you to divorce dad?, Well, I don’t want you to now”. So, I am suppose to disrupt their world and go to Plan B. At this point I CANNOT DO THAT and WILL NOT DO IT. I hear from friends, and from the forum, that by staying in my marriage as it is, I am harming the kids. How is it harming the kids. They are clueless as to what is going on. I do my best to keep it that way. I know if my oldest thought something was wrong, he would say so. We have always had very good communication. So, I know I am not harming them by trying to make it work without Plan B. It is not written that Plan B is a must, that there is a definite timeline that one has to go to Plan B. The times provided are approximations for most people. However, I am not most people. I am very strong, the ability to keep things in perspective for myself. I know what is most important to me and I make decisions based upon that. My children’s happiness and security is what is most important to me, even above my own.

We are all responsible to make our own happiness. Yes the actions of others can cause us unhappiness. After a time, their actions don’t matter any longer, and it can no longer cause unhappiness.

If Plan B becomes necessary, it will be done on my timeline, not a timeline suggested as a guide, yes, I said guide, not a rule book but a guideline, a suggestion that came about from experience as to what has been observed by watching, documenting the feelings and emotions that the person is feeling. It is not an absolute to be applied to every individual. I know what needs to be done and I am working on it. I don’t need pressure that I should be doing it this way or that way. I need support, understanding and compassion.

There is a difference between offering suggestions and telling someone what they should do.

You commented that I should trust my feelings. – Well, that is what I do, I also recall being jumped all over, and I don’t recall by who, and I don’t really care who, when I said that I need to trust my feelings/instinct on this. If I remember correctly, their response was something to the effect that, trusting my feelings didn’t’ get me very far and that is why my marriage is the way it is. It is this type of comments I don’t like or care for. These types of comments totally dismiss my feelings, and belittle my ability to make decisions for myself. I am fully aware that any decisions I make, good or bad, the results are of my making or influence, and the result may not be what I want.

How happy am I? – I don’t really know. I have good days and bad days. The bad days are generally of my own making. I start thinking, wondering, questioning if staying in the marriage is the right thing to do, if divorcing is the right thing to do. The past memories come back, and I question if the good parts were real or all pretend. I question when he married me did he want to, or is it the truth when he said “I only married you because of the kids”. The only time he is able to tell me he loves me is when he has been drinking, so does that mean that the booze loosened him up to be honest or did the booze distort his feelings for the moment. Booze has a way of doing both. I question if our marriage ever had a real chance? Does it now?

The ups and downs are there, but the intensitiy is not the same as when I first exposed the affair to myself.

So, with all this said, I do welcome suggestions, concerns and opinions, just don’t treat me like a child who needs to be told what to do.

Sorry for the redundancy in parts.

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Hi Sue, I'm happy to hear your son said that to you. He must see a change in your H too. I hope he sticks with it for all your sake. To me, it is really best if a family can stay together. I know no one knows what the future holds, but I wish you the best, truly I do. You DESERVE it woman!

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SwH,

It is possible to view posts that include “support, understanding, and compassion” but are also challenging and questioning as “negativity, bossiness and control”. When you believe these things, please ask yourself these questions: “What possible motivation would anyone here have to negate or control you life? What is there to be gained by that? Are they the kind of people who relish in gaining at someone else’s expense?” Many of the posts I think you are referring to…and I have no doubt that some of them are mine…are people who have followed your story for over two years….worrying about you, caring for you, wanting more for you and empathizing with the long sadness and uncertainty that has consumed your posts here on MB. There is a disturbing sameness over time that permeates your posts.

It is that sameness that prompts worry because there appears to be so little progress in your situation even after years here. From the beginning there has been a vagueness and secrecy that makes it hard to even know what you want or need. I hate the idea of you becoming complacent or settling for so little. I don’t hate it for me….it doesn’t affect me. I hate it for you. And yes….there is a little voice inside of me that wants to shout “don’t drop anchor here Sue”. Life is full of so much more! You deserve so much more from a marriage and a husband and you can have it.

I can do nothing if you decide that means I’m interested in scolding you or consider you a child incapable of knowing you own mind. *sigh* If only children needed help…none of us would be here. If I had become defensive about posts that challenged my thinking...I would never have recovered my marriage. For all that you profess to know exactly what you need to do….you most often project someone who is depressed, lost, confused and many times directionless. And even though SwH stands for Sue with hope...there is a hopelessness that hangs in the air above your words.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> How happy am I? – I don’t really know.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How can we be expected to know that you don't need more than just compassion when you don't even know what your degree of happiness is? When you are challenged, you retreat. You may say something like:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> The only time he is able to tell me he loves me is when he has been drinking </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and I find myself incapable anymore of simply telling you "my god that is so sad Sue" and not also wanting to say "try something different".

If that is not what you’re feeling….please, I beg you to express what plans you have for your own life and which direction you want to take. If your only plan is to wait, bide your time, live in sadness and uncertainty…so be it...just say so….I will respect that even if I don’t accept it.

If you don’t even know your degree of happiness, how can anyone else possible know either.

Forgive those of us who look at your long suffering and occasionally push you a bit as well as offering you solace…..it is certainly not my normal style…surely you know that. Support+Guidance, Understanding+Challenge, Compassion+Inspiration….those things exact change more than just sympathy alone, even when the risk is causing some discomfort…because all of us resist change…even good change. Of course you need validation….we all do…and you have received bucket loads from so many. Validation alone, does not exact change…..and your situation cries out for it. You cry out for it.

Please, don’t drop anchor here.

The last thing I want to do is to help create an environment where you don’t feel safe to post or must censor your words. I am so sorry for my contribution to that….and sincerely ask for your forgiveness. I will not post to you again Sue….but I will continue to hope.

<small>[ May 22, 2004, 11:45 AM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

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Hi Sue <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
I am glad to hear your H is doing more w/the family.I wish for you tho that you had the proof that the A had ended.
Remember I am always here for you.

SS

In my eyes our life is exactally like before the A.I tell H this.
He acts just like before the A.
So no things are not improving.I wanted to come out of this with a better stronger M.On the outside we look fine.Inside I feel dead.
My D says you can see the misery on my face.

I really dont know if we are going forward,backward or standing still. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

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WH and I went to a wedding reception last night for a girl on his coed ball team.

When he introduced me to the bride (no, I did not meet her before last night because the night he plays I am at the boys game. Most of the time he takes the kids to the field, I meet them there and quick get to the boys game.

Anyways, the bride tells me that our daughter, the first night she met her, says to her, "my daddy is married and has three children". I thought it was so funny that she would say that. So did she. She told her, that she knows he is married with three children and you must be ******. YD was so thrilled that she knew her name and they played until I got there. The kids saw me before I could get out of the car, and ran to me, so I did not get a chance to meet the team. I already knew two people because they come over to the house once in a while and we got our dog from them.

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