Hey WMWB!

Are you Plan Bing us? What's going on?

Hello all, sorry for not posting in awhile there. We've had some major events take place over the last week or so. WW had me served with an RO and had the kids taken away from me last Monday, I haven't seen them since. We have a court hearing on the matter tomorrow so a judge can decide if her claims are true or not. I'm pretty optimistic that he will see thing my way. After that, i intend on going to either mediation or family court to have an enforcable schedule with the kids, so as to not allow her to use them a pawns to be held over my head.

I've been doing really good in my plan b, you would all be proud. She calls and I don't answer, when she calls my cell phone i send it right to VM. She did mangae to yell at me for a couple of minutes last night, I was saying goodnight to the kids and one of them handed her the phone. I just let her go. She called back and I (mistakingly) answered and asked her not to call me anymore, then I let her go.

I can tell she is having a hard time with this, she calls and on the odd chance that she actually get a couple words out, I stand my ground, and she flies off the handle.

This will get a lot easier though, when i get to see my kids again. I miss them so much.

Hello all, sorry for not posting in awhile there. We've had some major events take place over the last week or so. WW had me served with an RO and had the kids taken away from me last Monday, I haven't seen them since. We have a court hearing on the matter tomorrow so a judge can decide if her claims are true or not. I'm pretty optimistic that he will see thing my way. After that, i intend on going to either mediation or family court to have an enforcable schedule with the kids, so as to not allow her to use them a pawns to be held over my head.

I've been doing really good in my plan b, you would all be proud. She calls and I don't answer, when she calls my cell phone i send it right to VM. She did mangae to yell at me for a couple of minutes last night, I was saying goodnight to the kids and one of them handed her the phone. I just let her go. She called back and I (mistakingly) answered and asked her not to call me anymore, then I let her go.

I can tell she is having a hard time with this, she calls and on the odd chance that she actually get a couple words out, I stand my ground, and she flies off the handle.

This will get a lot easier though, when i get to see my kids again. I miss them so much.

I am so sorry! You must be hurting so much. Those poor boys. They should be with you. How did she get an RO against you? You haven't been swinging any baseball bats have you? How long will this take?

I applaud your sticking to Plan B. Keep it up.

How are you coping? Please know we all care about you and are concerned for you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Want My Wife Back:
<strong> We have a court hearing on the matter tomorrow so a judge can decide if her claims are true or not. I'm pretty optimistic that he will see thing my way....... After that, i intend on going to either mediation or family court to have an enforcable schedule ....
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">WMWB-

Be sure you get some representation yourself. Don't go to court without help. I was pretty optimitic that our judge would see that assisting in commiting felonies, risking our credit, affairs with clients, helping clients avoid police detection would all help me in my case. In the end, the judge said he didn't consider any of these things when he made his custody decision and he felt like the childrens' mother was not putting them in any danger. Yet, this was the same court that put no-contact orders in place so my kids wouldn't have contact with my STBXW's clients.

Also, good luck with 'enforceable' orders. Despite court orders, my STBXW felt no obligation to follow them and I really couldn't get the court to do any more than to nicely ask her to follow the court orders.

I'm not trying to throw cold water on your ideas, just giving you another perspective on what can happen so you can be prepared for the unexpected.

HoFS

Well, she wrote this long affidavit distorting the facts of events, which will be VERY easy to prove the truth on, and is claiming I'm an abusive father. We have always (both her and I) disciplined our boys partly with physical discipline and partly by other means. She is claiming that I beat the kids and they are always afraid of getting a spanking or getting hit. I have NEVER seen any evidence of this, obviously I wouldn't spank them if it had such a negative effect on them. The RO is only temporary until the hearing tomorrow. At that hearing the judge will decide if I'm a threat to her or the kids.

<coming out of retirement>

Don't even THINK about going ot that hearing without a well-prepared attorney. It could be the biggest mistake of your life.

also coming out of hiding ...

He IS doing very well with plan B .. LOL only because of the restraining Order.. Just giving you a hard time .. I agree make sure you bring your Lawyer.. and let us know how it went..

I have to chime in here - consider this to be in your face emphatic - GET A GOOD LAWYER -!!!!!!!

You know the saying - A person who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. Don't do it.

Also, I want to tell you that I can give you the name of a very (very) good atty over in your neck of the woods if you are interested. And this referral is coming from a woman who has not much good to say about most family law practitioners.

Call me if you want her name. She is excellent. My case dragged on for four years, cost me over $20K and my first to attys were worthless, they wouldn't take action. She got the job done in less than a month and for about fify cents more than her $1500 retainer.

C

Have you retained a lawyer yet? When is the supposed to happen? What are your plans for the weekend? How are the boys? What are you doing to take care of you?

bump for WMWB

Hello all. The hearing went REALLY well. I had retained an attorney, my WW did not. I won, the judge told her she fell well short of meeting the criteria for abuse and he didn't believ she was either afraid of me or in any iminate danger from me. The order was denied. So, we are back to square one.

I'm doing pretty good in plan B, although I'm getting really tired of all this. Being that the OM lives so close, I'm keenly aware of it anytime she is over there. She calls to talk to the kids and is mean and nasty anytime I happen to answer the phone. I'm still stuck with the pick ups and drop offs of the kids. That is the only time I ever see her. The rest of the time we are in plan B. And when i do drop the kids off, I don't talk to her.

has it occured to you that when what you're doing doesn't work then the thing to do is find another plan?

we could review your entire sojourn through this entire affair (no pun intended) but why re-hash old and painfull news? more important why continue to live with the situation based on your WW's rules? particularly when she is shown a willingness to escalte the matter to new levels of deciet and dishonesty?

why not strike out on your own and possibly cause her to be reacting to you and what's in your best interest?

up until now you have been acting as if having this woman in your life is in the best interst of you and your children...you have plan A'd the h#ll out of her and tried in every logical way to show her that you are the right choice for the man in her life..but guess what? she has decided differently and in the process possibly shown you who she really is!

now many here will contend that this is because she's still in the "fog," (which is entirely possible) but so what! i contend that this becomes irrelevant when one considers the damage that this woman is capable off doing?

she has already attempted to get a falacious order of protection against you...what might she do next...accuse you of child abuse or molestation? or of taking drugs?

not possible you say! well given the good advice that she's probably getting from that low life that lives down the street, is it really so far fetched?

do you have a seperation agreement yet? are your finances secure from her? are you protected from her intrusion into your home...for when ever she gets the whim? how about credit card dept, insurance bills, mortgage and child support, visitation and joint custody issues? i'm sorry but now is the time to consider all this...not when she once again concocts some lie about you and drags you into court!

you already have an attorney...why not go forward...not with divorce maybe, but with getting yourself legally protected from whatever else she may have planned?

you are in plan B now so wouldn't this be a logical extention...particularly in light of her belligerent behavior.

coach

The problem with Plan B is that even when it is working it doesn't feel "good", although the cessation of constant hostilities can be a nice break.

I'm sure WMWB's WW is under a lot of new stresses and so is her affair. That's good.

Well, it sure doesn't seem that she is under any stress... or her affair either for that matter. She seems like all she wants is us to be divorced.

I do a really good job when dropping the kids off. I smile, keep it extremely short, no chit chat, I preoccupied (sometimes on the phone), and I'm outta there. But when i pick them up it's a different story. I can't seem to help acting out in anger at her. Snide comments, one line sarcastic remarks, angry looks, impatience... all seem to explode from me every time I pick the kids up after work. I can't figure out what the difference is. Surely it is HIGHLY counter productive.

It sounds like she does those things just to get a reaction out of you. DON'T REACT! It reaffirms her position. You need to choose someone else as your intermediary. No contact = no contact. She can't get to you if you're not there...Besides do you want your boys hearing what she has to say? It can affect how they view Rs later in life.

bump for WMWB...How come you're so quiet lately?

Hello SAB

Why am I so quiet lately? Well, there isn't much to say. Not much new other than her dad is going off the dep end emailing me about everything that I'm doing is wrong. I think he is losing his mind.

I miss my wife moe than anything in the world. We are still in the situation where I have to see her everyday when i drop off the kids. I don't say much to her, just info about the kids that she may need to know. She started a job yesterday, so the kids are in daycare now part time. They love it, both of my boys are very social people. It helps also in that now I don't have to see her when I pick up the kids. If you recall, the pick ups are when i seem to have the toughest time not LBing, so this is a plus.

I made the huge mistake Friday night and called to ask her if she was at all thinking of comming home. I expected her to just say "No, [censored] you." then hang up. What I got instead was 20 min.'s of her telling me how rotten I was and how emotionally abusive and controlling I am. She ended it by saying that I was to NEVER call her again and ask that question as she would NEVER be coming home to me.

Suffice to say, it put me back to square one. I really miss her.

WMWB: When are you REALLY going to start Plan B?

Are you reffering to a PBIII? My plan B's seem to last about a month then i find myself wondering if she has had enough of all of this and is willing to come home. I think I'm done asking that question though. The logistics of the kid drop offs is unavoidable. We live nearly 35 miles from the closest relative and all of our close friends. The nieghbors we are close to all work and have enough trouble dealing with their own lives and still make it to work on time. Other than that, i don't talk to her at all. What more can I do?