I think I'm going to sue Betty Crocker. It's all their fault.

I started making a cake today. I read half of the instructions, but it soon became apparent to me that they had written them for general use and not for my very special, unique circumstances. I quickly revised a few things to meet the needs of my situation.

I got some things out to do it. The recipe said that I needed 3 eggs. I only had one, and going to the store was very inconvenient. I decided just to use the one and a package of Egg Beaters.

I got out a bowl. It wasn't a mixing bowl like the instructions said. It was just a plain old soup bowl, but that should have been good enough. I mean, really, what do they want?

Since the cake takes so long to make and bake, and I didn't want to wait that long, I just kept dipping my spoon into the mix and eating it as I went along. I set the oven to 500 degrees and turned it on to preheat. I added 4 cups of olive oil and my eggs. The package said vegetable oil, but olive oil is so much better for you that I decided to substitute it.

I got out my electric mixer like the one pictured on the package and turned it on the highest level. (I mean, HELLO, I want this sooner than later!) Well, let me tell you, the stuff went flying EVERYWHERE! WTF were they thinking?! Since the mixer obviously wasn’t working, I just got out a spoon and stirred my mixture a few times.

I poured the mixture into the exact pan size that they said, and it didn’t even cover the BOTTOM OF THE PAN, so I transferred the batter to a smaller pan that was 3 inches deep. I like thicker cakes, anyway.

I put the pan in the oven, and go to watch some TV. Who wants to watch something bake? I have better things to do…

Well, 45 minutes later I go to check on my cake (cause it was NOT smelling good) and I notice black smoke everywhere! The batter had oozed all over the side of my pan and burning on the oven’s heating element! The rest of the cake was completely charred, there’s no way I can eat that. I doesn’t even look like a cake.

The box DID say to only bake it for 25 minutes, but really, should that be MY responsibility? Shouldn’t the cake just KNOW when it’s done and stop baking? Come on, it’s the 21st century.

So, here I am standing in the middle of a mess with a worthless burnt cake. My oven is almost ruined, I’ve got cake mixture on every surface in my kitchen, and I didn’t get to have my cake, let alone eat it too.

I don’t advise anyone here to buy Betty Crocker products. They are nothing but a fraudulent rip-off. Your kitchen could be ruined.

And I’m suing them. It’s all their fault.

<small>[ December 01, 2003, 04:40 PM: Message edited by: *Takola* ]</small>

4 CUPS of olive oil???

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I'd like to say that I laughed. But I didn't. Somehow, it's too true to be funny.

But it was really really well done.

T

Your mistake was not using 4 cups of white wine instead of olive oil. Then there would have not been any batter to put in the oven or if there was a little you wouldn't care what your oven looked like.

Happy T-day

stayin' dark. DD

Takola,
I really had to laugh at this. Very cute, but another thought came to my mind and some may find it funny some may not but when you said this:

I’ve got cake mixture on every surface in my kitchen, and I didn’t get to have my cake, let alone eat it too.

it made me think... Is this why most WS come back? It's just too much work to have your cake and eat it too! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL

Wickedly funny! And a clever way to look at the MB method.

This should be a regular bump post <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Actually, (as MikeC2 knows, having read this the first time I did it on EN, and as Bellevue quickly picked up on (most of the people on EN never did get it)) I never baked a cake, nor did I even try. This whole story is my analogy of how the MB concepts are applied by the majority.

1.) Pick and choose what you want to apply.
2.) Substitute that which is undesireable or too much effort.
3.) Ignore that which gets in the way of your Taker.
4.) Don't follow the rules.
5.) Complain about your situation (aka lack of success).

*Food* for thought.

<small>[ December 01, 2003, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: *Takola* ]</small>

Tak,

This is the first time that I've ever used the "report post" function for good. I think Steve should use this in the newsletter. It's terrific. Hey, maybe you've got the opportunity to be a guest columnist...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by *Takola*:
<strong> Actually, (as MikeC2 knows, having read this the first time I did it on EN, and as Bellevue quickly picked up on (most of the people on EN never did get it)) I never baked a cake, nor did I even try. This whole story is my analogy of how the MB concepts are applied by the majority. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I always loved this post.

I had a post about our relationship with our cat, which was similarly misconstrued by people, but was an analogy of MB methods. It has faded off the board, but this reminds me of it. Great post, T.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by K:
Hey, maybe you've got the opportunity to be a guest columnist...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What makes you think she hasn't already been offered that opportunity long ago? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

C

Hey Mike....I'm going to put a link to both this thread and I'd really like a link for "The Cat" to put on the Welcome thread in EN. Could you provide me with a url for it please?

The Cat is a wonderful post. It helped me so much when I first got here. I think I've sent a copy of it to everyone I've helped since, as well. It may not get bumped, but it still gets its fair share of use. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Oh and Tak....the boat one too!!!

Done! Mike, I've always loved that post of yours....been wanting to link it for a while...now I'll have it handy along with this one and "the Boat". Thanks you two! Check it out....here

Takola,
I saw that your post was referred to other posters. So I read it.

At first I thought, "Maybe she is trying to make a point about misusing material, or Did she really bake a cake, because she has to be a new cook with these crazy substitutions."

Anyway, you are right. I picked and chose what was convient. Than I LBed when I didn't get what I wanted which cost me a lot of heartache. Thanks for the post (and your explanation).

Oh, I'm definitely making a point. NO ONE wants me to attempt to bake. NO ONE. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />