</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Want My Wife Back???:
<strong> Hi. I have a question... is Cerri still around? I know I've been away for a couple of months, but i come back and don't recognize hardly anyone. What happened? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hey, good to see you.

Over time the site gets a lot of churn. I haven't posted in a few months myself.

A few quick thoughts:

1. JL gave some usual great advice about your kids. I would add the following: Don't underestimate their judgement. Kids have a marvelous internal ethical barometer. If not now, eventually, they will look back and see the difference between right and wrong, good parent and bad parent. Keep that in mind. Parenting is a marathon not a one day battle.

2. Get your attorney to pull the divorce file on the OM. I'll bet you that some of the wacky stuff she accused you off emanated from his divorce proceedings.

Basically, I would say to focus your emotional energy on being a dad and forget about being a husband. she is deep in the fog. If this guy is the s-bag he sounds like that will out over time.

God Bless...

Cerri's been really really busy with her own work the last few months. She keeps saying she's going to post about that. I keep poking her. She keeps giggling like the Pillsbury Doughboy... oh wait. That was just because the cell phone connections are so bad sometimes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey Mike, great to hear from ya.

I have a question, and i want some really honest answers here. Over the course of last summer, many nieghbors and friends have been witness to both my WW and I parenting. They've all seen how involved I am and that my WW woudl go "off duty" from about the moment I walked in the door at night. In her affidavit, she makes the claim that I was an uninvolved parent and that I was not at all involved with the day to day care of my kids, which is obviously a flat lie. She also tries to make the claim that I have an anger problem. I have asked several of my nieghbors if they would give a sworn statement about the reality of my involvement, that I don't have an anger problem, and that I was about as equal of a care giver as could be possible. All I want is the truth, I've told everyone that I don't want them to prop me up or put her down... I just wante the truth as they saw it. To a "T", everyone pledged their support. "Sure, I'll do that... no problem." Then, when it comes time to actually have the affidavit done, they all back out. Nobody wants to get involved. Nobody wants to take sides. I'm not particularly asking for anyone to take sides, just tell the truth. The thing is, the truth is on my side... not my WW's. Everybody knows that and they don't want to be the one who's testamony is the deciding factor. I think it comes down to the question of "...do I do what is right or do I do what is comfortable?" It seems to me that nobody wants to go on record and tell the truth because it puts them in an uncomfortable spot.

The question I have is am i justified in asking these people to go on record and tell the truth about what they saw? and if so, how do I convince people that it is the right thing to do? And I guess, is it the right thing to do... for these people to go on record, or is it right for them to refuse to get involved at all? What is the general consensus here?

^^Bumping for advice^^

Hi,

U R justified in asking but by the same token they can renig. After all in their minds they see it as your problem not theres and hence the recoil of support.

Don't despair. You have other options. How old are your children? You can get a note from the daycare, school and IC for your children. Most states have departments whose job it is to evaluate the children. R they old enough to make statements? Even if it is in picture form.

You can write that your neighbors have seen your family hurt by the conduct of your W. You can mention that in your statements. Check it out with your lawyer. If the courts want more, social services or child protective services can do a survey to your neighbors. Not sure and don't want to make a big deal out of it right now.

Right now you need to document all that has happened. Do you have a journal? Copies of e-mails and correspondence? Put something together to summize the situation and have backup proof. Be factual not emotional in the writeup.

You have more going for you but in many courts the dads really have to prove themselves. Even if your state is a no-fault state, just the mention of an Affair can cause a judge to take another view.

JMHO,
L.

OK WMWB .. I decided that I need to come on and take a look at the Divorce boards... Just stopped to say HI

so ... HI <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />