I haven't posted in a while but today I am feeling particularly sad. I have been off for three days and chose to spend Christmas alone. Did pretty well too. No emotional outburst thru Christmas. H came by to bring my bank statement on Christmas day. Had a nice visit for a short while. But, I am pretty well resolved to the fact that he wants a divorce. He can't exactly tell me why but he has not been sleeping and has very close associations w/ the ow. She and her husband were out w/ my h and some other coworkers last week. I tried to reach him on his cell and she answered (big party in the background). I hung up and when I called back her husband answered and told me my h was not around and hung up on me and turned off the phone. Is he stupid or is it a threesome I asked myself. Anyway, my h called me the next day very upset that I would make an issue of this and that he was nowhere in the vicinity when these phone games were happening. I had called him to arrange to get my gifts to his kids and family. I told him he needed to be more selective about who he "admired". He realizes that but does not feel the same about me and says that a divorce is inevitable and soon. I love him deeply and he is nowhere near the man that was so loving to me. When he sees me he always kissed me hello and hugs and kisses me when he leaves. When there are no emotional outbursts on my part we get along very well. Where did the love go??? Certainly this woman is playing with him and he buys it hook line and sinker. My question is....can I with some comfort just "let it go"? Is a divorce the heartbreaking end or could it be that it will clean the slate for a new beginning? I feel like I have the weight of the world on my chest today. Is it healthy to love this enduringly?