My wife's friend is having an affair on her husband with several men. She is pushing my wife to do the same, inviting her to swinger type parties etc. Wife is keeping situation a secret from me and I'm not supposed to know. But I do, and I found out her friend is having multiple affairs and that her attitude is "I gotta take advantage of my looks now while I still have them, I look good and I have men all over me". That is a direct quote from her to my wife.<P>My wife and I will probably divorce...though she doesn't think I will do it. <P>But...the big question is...Do I tell the other husband who has no idea his wife is fooling around on him so badly? She and my wife conspire together to lie about their whereabouts and activities to cover up their actions.

If you were the husband of your wife's friend would you appreciate someone telling you about your wife's affairs. He is no different than you. Tell him.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>My wife and I will probably divorce...though she doesn't think I will do it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Is your W going to these parties?<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Four letters, John<P>A<BR>I<BR>D<BR>S

Well, the guy obviously has a right to know. I heard something on the 'Dr. Laura' show (a morality talkshow on the radio) and think it might apply here...<BR>It was a situation similar to the one you are discribing.<BR>What your wife's friend is doing is 'evil'.<BR>She is lying to her husband and putting him in mortal danger. (aids)<BR>You seem to be asking if by NOT telling him, or causing him to be told, would you be doing 'evil'... this was the question put to Dr. Laura.<BR>Her reply was that no, you specifically may not be doing the harm, but by remaining silent, you are condoning it and allowing it to continue. Not good.<BR>Here's another example...<BR>Towards the end of my affair, when I couldn't take it anymore and had, just had, to talk to someone I went to one of my best friends. <BR>Well, if I was seeking comfort in my shame, I was soon to be set quite clear on the subject!<BR>He was VERY disappointed in me and made it clear that not only did he NOT want to know about it, but also that I had BETTER tell my wife. Because if I didn't...<BR>Anyway, I really admired that, even as the betrayed... <BR>Anyway, I hope you find the stregnth to do what you have to do, whatever that may be...<BR>Deut

My vote--tell him.<P>While I make no judgement on sexual activities that couples decide TOGETHER, what your W's friend is doing is hurtful. I would want to know if it were me.

I say tell him! I wish I had found out a lot sooner than I did. Then I wouldn't have felt like an a**. <BR>Wouldn't you want someone to tell you?

John,<P>My W was doing exactly the same thing during her affair. It saddened me so much.<P>I told her girl friend's husband...<P>What a relief of my guilt... for knowing!<P>Did I <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Bust</A>... BIG TIME... I got so chewed out...<P>But... what a relief...<P>Tell my friend...<BR>Anything you can do to remove this cancerous addiction will make the world a better place.<P>Jim