I think one of the hardest things to deal with in a marriage is the fact that another person has the ability to make a choice that can hurt and destroy us and we are left helpless.
<p>Alison,
<br>I think your husband is being unreasonable. I also think you are right when you say that he needs to choose between his mother and you. I don't think any wife should be told to "OBEY" her husband. Marriage is a partnership between the husband and wife. Not his whole family. In my opinion you should not back down from this. I would tell him of your love but that you cannot accept his mothers role in your marriage. I would also prepare yourself for whatever his response may be for some will choose their mothers over anyone. My prayers are with you. Good Luck
<p>Seth,
<p>It is the uncanny ability of children to forgive their parents of unspeakable things that just amazes me. Even if her father did this again I'm sure your wife would still be able to forgive him. To be honest, the best thing for you would be to forgive him to or it will damage you too. This is not to say that you will or should ever trust him again. If your wife and kids want to see him then you should let them. I don't think this means that you need to see him but you shouldn't punish them for something he did or they might end up resenting you. I think what he did is horrible but you can't let it eat you up or he has won. My prayers are with you. Good luck.
<p>Chris,
<p>I have read several of your post and wish there was something to say. It sounds to me as if your mother-in-law has already won the battle. Thats not to say that she has won the war though. I do think there is still hope but it is most likely going to take alot of time. I think if you are patient with your wife she may start to open up. Its hard to say how things may go if she is living with her mother. I would take Dr. Harleys advice and start triing to deposit into her love bank in any way you think you might be able to get through. My prayers are with you. Good Luck.
<p>The sad part about life is that the decision of whether or not our marriage will stay together is not always entirely ours. As much as we may want it we still need the other person to agree. And even sadder still is learning when to let go and move on with our lives.
<p>Steph (who has learned the lesson)