The advice given on these webpages has been a godsend to me but seems to only talk about Givers/Takers that are normal.<P>What I want to know is what you do when Givers/Takers aren't normal? When previous relationships have caused the balance and behaviour of your Givers/Takers to change.<P>In my relationship both of us have suffered extensive damage from previous relationships, to the point where her Givers are almost non-existant and her Takers are agressive and poised to strike regardless how many points are in the Love Bank. For myself my Givers are in abundance... but unfortunately that makes my Takers paranoid and extremely agressive when the Givers are taken advantage of.<P>Does the First Stage state of Intimacy replenish missing or exhausted Givers? Does it "tame" agressive Takers? Or is it just simply a way of balancing the two when they are in normal proportions?<P>If anyone has any ideas or would like to talk I am more than happy to listen and converse.

Your post is somewhat confusing...you might get a better response if you clarify what your trying to say or want advise for...

Its simple, more givers and fewer or less agressive takers.<P><BR>Both my partner and I have been through extremely bad relationships and this has left our Givers and Takers out of balance.<P>She has next to no Givers and I have very agressive Takers.<P>Clear enough?