My husband says he loves me and the children, but is "not IN love with me". Four years ago the place my husband was working at closed and he was offered a job from the same company but in another state 1500 miles away. At that time, we both agreed this was to be looked at as a temporary thing until, hopefully, another job in our home city came up. We have three children and also felt it best not to uproot them. We are/were looking at keeping this long distance marriage until our daughter graduates in two years. Now that my husband feels he is "not IN love" with me he doesn't see the point of keeping this going or us moving out to him. He is now seriously looking and probably will file for a divorce to "get a direction". There is no time for us to go to marriage counseling or really work on our relationship because he only gets to come home for a weekend about every three weeks. He is workaholic no doubt. Every classic symptom. He admits it. Also, from what I have read, he is going through a stage of mid-life crises. I think I have lost the battle. With the physical distance living apart, I cannot be there for him through his journey of doubts and mid life. We don't have a chance to rebuild what we once had because of his infrequent visits. We have been together 26 years, married 24. I just can't believe he can wash it all away and still say he cares for us; me and the kids. I don't know what to do anymore. I want him to be happy and not go through the pain I know he is going through. If it wasn't for the children, I would stop fighting for him, but let him go if that is what he wanted. He shows signs of affection, but talks a different talk. He is willing to some type of counseling (we both completed the questionnaires); but I feel he is doing it just to say he did. Weekends he is home, we seem to have a great time together. I just feel so abandoned when he flies back to his work and it consumes him once again. I am tired of the ups and downs and loneliness. Do I let him file for divorce?<p>[This message has been edited by judy0775 (edited September 17, 1999).]
