<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tee: I have been at that place with my husband too. He had sexual issues in his past that I wasn't aware of until we went for counseling. I had always chalked it up to him being a pervert. Try telling him what DOES turn you on and see how that goes. Suggest counseling too. I don't know how long you've been married, but I know that you learn more and more about each other as the years go by and sometimes through counseling, things surface that you would never imagine. It really sounds like he is displaying the the ONLY sexual response that he knows to be acceptable. Let me give you a real life example from my marriage... My husband is a big guy and without him realizing it, he is forceful and strong. He has been married once before and with his ex-wife, he was more dominant sexually. I tend to shy away from that type of behavior due to my past experiences, so we were at a stand still over this for quite some time. When we sent to counseling, she shed some light on the "WHY" part of what was happening. It really helped. I was judging him for his sexual behavior and preferences and he thought I was just being timid and shy. Perception is not understanding. Seek to understand. Also, pray for your situation, for your husband to understand and his heart to be softened to your feelings. <BR><B>My husband refuses to believe me when I say groping me is not a turn on.He says I am trying to control the situation.Unless I let him just grab me and stuff like that he tells me to get away from him if I cant except the type of affection he wants to give me.I am not trying to control anything.It makes me feel cheap,if thats the only kind of affection I can get.Help us please.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><p>[This message has been edited by Ladel (edited September 06, 2000).]