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#62501 09/16/02 03:33 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
Posts: 3
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Posts: 3
Been married for 15 months. Had many big fights over my parents, and due to those, she has lost her respect for me and doesn't see me as a "man" any more because I won't "stick up for her" against my parents. They didn't do anything!! Any time that we have a big fight, she will threaten to divorce me. (Her mother M'd and D'd four times--I see the source of this problem.) Lately it has been "You don't stick up for me!"" "You don't defend me!!" I'm told that I have to "prove" myself to her to show her that I'm worth being married to. She tells me that I "have no rights in this marriage". We have a three-month-old girl...I don't want to lose either of them, but her anger towards me is going to result in the worst outcome. HELP ME!!! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

#62502 09/17/02 12:08 PM
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 724
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I see you posted back in June what happened between then and now. Have you read over the principles of MB? Have you two seeked counseling? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

#62503 09/18/02 10:23 PM
Joined: Jun 2002
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I have much to admit, so much that I am ashamed of it... The fighting began with my mother, when she, at our wedding, behaved in a nasty manner, ruining my wife's wedding day. (They returned their wedding gift to us because I had un-invited them at one point.) My wife was upset about it and we began a cycle of fighting over this very subject. I would get upset when my wife expressed how upset she was over the wedding, and so on, fight after fight, all started by me because I couldn't seem to come to terms with the way my mother acted. I called her a few times to let her know how we felt, but my mother's reaction each time caused me to back off and turn instead on my wife...shameful.
A few months after our wedding, my wife became unexpectedly pregnant, which made us both quite happy! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Once again, the specter of my parents entered the picture and we would have more arguments, one, in fact, where I lost my cool and said to abort the baby, something I NEVER meant and deeply regret saying. After another fight over the same subject, I called my parents (bad move) and told them about our fights and that my wife forced me to call them, basically backstabbing my wife. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> (She knows of the call.)
Over the next few months, we would have several more fights over my parents, but they would space themselves out. During a few fights, <<I>> threatened her with divorce, even during her pregnancy. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
I bare myself before you all...I haven't given anyone the full story...I've been too ashamed of the truth as it stared me in the face.
Oh, yes, I see my problem...I've failed to show my wife that SHE is NUMBER ONE in my life by not acting like it. Crying over my mother when my wife is reaching out for my love is ridiculous!!!
Is it too late for our marriage to survive? I need to change myself. I've been nothing but a dirty rat to her. Perhaps she is justified in wanting to leave me. The other two posts I made sound to me like just two more back-stabbings of my wife... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />


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