Dear Mrs. Bush,
It sounds like you took the trips with your girlfriends without his enthusiastic endoresment. So was this a violation of POJA?
What other violations of POJA are there?
Have you asked for forgiveness, and proposed a plan for avoiding future POJA events? What about arranging in advance what extras you are going to provide, to obtain your husband's enthusiastic support?
Have you read the 10 areas of marriage that MB recommends taking 3 or 4 areas and doing well? What areas have you been focusing on? Are these the areas most important to your husband? Have you asked your husband for his wish list? Are there items on your wish list that you feel he has unfairly denied? Have you cleared out those feelings? What items are on your husband's wish list that he has not shared with you, and how can you create a safe, listening atmosphere so he will let you know, what he has not yet told you? I have posted a recommendation for listening under Pan A /Plan B., Hopeful98 28063, TIME FOR PLAN B, 8-3-03.
What opportunites do you now have to make deposits in his love bank, that will give you credit?
Have you tried to sit down for lunch or coffee, and discuss what changes he wants, and what you are willing to change?
You mention that your family was a problem, but you do not detail the changes you are willing to make to solve the problems. Have you detailed to your husband what changes in the way you will handle your family differently in the future? Have you gotten your famiy on board with the changes?
Best wishes
Quiper,
Married 28 years, and still struggling
<small>[ August 07, 2003, 11:12 AM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>