I have been dating this woman for about 1 1/2 years and have grown to love her very much, and I know that deep down she loves me. That said, she is extremely complex and the relationship has been very frustrating for me lately. For background, she is 25 years old I am her first serious relationship she has ever had, she is also still a virgin. All I know about her past relationships is that she was one burned in high school. She is a very strong-minded intelligent person who values her independence. She is also naive about relationships and has a skewed perception on what a relationship is and how it should be (in part because I have really spoiled her). Knowing that I was the first person she has allowed herself to get close to without running away, I knew that I had to be patient, and I have been. My problem now is that she has a hard time showing her feelings for me. I know deep down she cares for me and loves me but I wish that she would just show it more. The issue of sex is not really an issue for me. My problem is that she has a hard time showing affection, emotionally and physically (holding hands, touching, etc.). I have realized that she has built up enormous walls and is timid about letting herself get to close to someone in fear of leaving herself vulnerable. As far as she is concerned she has made great strides in the relationship and does not see a problem. I have tried to talk to her about how I feel and it seriously is like talking to a kid…she just doesn't get it. I feel that I have talked how I feel to death. I am starting to think that she is giving to me as much as she can, yet I don't know if it is enough for me. Is there anything that I can do that will help get through to her without coming across too strong and beating things to death? Or should I just give up and move on? Please help.

You sound like a really patient and caring person and hopefully your partner realizes that. However, there always comes a time for action. I was also "burned in high school," and met my first serious relationship as a very naive, venerable virgin. And to be honest, the guy wasn't really that great, but I needed to be loved. I let him in to my heart and he ended up burning me just like the others but I got over that too. It sounds like either something VERY serious happened to your girlfriend, or she is just overeacting. You need to find out what really happened. If it was really nothing than you may want to question whether or not she really wants to be loved. On the other hand, if it does seem like something of a relatively serious nature to you I would remind her that you are not that guy...and be straighforward. Let her know everything you typed up on that computer screen. Ask her if she can give more. No one knows her better than she does. You say you've talked alot with her about your feelings, and that is important. Now talk about hers. Make her reveal them. You have put your heart on the line is your relationship for quite a while and let her know that you need her to put hers on the line too.
<p>Hope I was of some help. Good Luck!