My husband and I both had alcohol problems in the 1980's. I still drink upon occasion, like if we go out to dinner, but I havent been 'drunk' or had more than 2 drinks in...wow I cant even remember how long. I no longer consider myself as having a problem. My husband, on the other had is out of control with his drinking again. In the first4 years we were together, I never saw him drink more than two beers at a time, and he only did that maybe twice a year, but lately things have gotten out of control.
<br>It started with a beer or two after work, and progressed rapidly after that. He now drinks 12-15 every night. It is affecting our marriage, and it scares me. All he wants to do is fight when he drinks. Every little thing I say to him sends him into a rage. He has never hit me or been physically abusive, but the mental and emotional abuse are just as bad as being hit would be...possibly worse...these scars may never completely go away. Tonight he was drinking again and I asked him a question, he blew up and I walked away...I just dont have it in me to fight anymore. He has threatened to leave me dozens of times, but in the end he always stays. Tonight was no exception, he started to leave...and instead of begging him to stay, as I have done in the past, I told him that if he left this time NOT to come back. And that I was tired of his drinking. He tried to turn it around on me...saying things like "Well all you ever want to do is fight" I told him that it was his life...to do with it as he pleased...but I was tired of the struggle..tired of wondering if he was going to leave...or if he was going to come home after work. He stopped and thought...and went to the fridge and dumped all the beer down the sink. We talked and he asked me for a week to see if he could recover on his own. (He has been drinking steadily for 6-8 weeks now). I agreed. Was that wrong? Should I ask him to go to a recovery program? He would never go to AA...he thinks he can handle everything on his own...however...I have told him about this forum and he agreed to check it out sometime since no one here knows our real names. Some may ask why I would want to stay married to an alcoholic..well, I love him with all my heart. I have known him as a sober person, and when he is sober he is the most wonderful man in the world. He is sweet and kind, thoughtful, strong, my knight in shining armor. I know that he can get through this...no...WE can get through this together. But we do need additional help. Thanks for taking the time to read this...any advice or insight would be appreciated.