How devastating is divorce financially? I need to hear from people on both sides how they were affected please

Jeremy: That is a pretty broad question as it really depends where you live, the laws in your state, if you choose mediator versus each having a separate attny, are there children involved, what kind of assets the two of you have and how bitter and ugly the divorce ends up being. In my situation when it is all said and done will cost us close to $10K. To me that is so much wasted money but to somebody else that might be a drop in the bucket. <P>Missy2

Jeremy, it'll end up costing my W and I about $1,000 a piece. We went through collaborative family law here in Ohio, which means we've agreed upon everything (kids, house, child support, belongings, etc.).<P>I met with my lawyer once for an hour and had a joint lawyer meeting once (all four of us) which lasted an hour.<P>All the lawyers had to do was pretty much rewrite (i.e., put it in 'legalese') what we had agreed to on paper.<P>Definitely the way to go if it's the way you're going...<P>theo<P>

It will cost 10 grand in legal fees between the two of us. Plus the two domiciles, extra stuff for the kids, etc.<P>I had $25,000 in the bank before this started. I have $1,000 now. And we have no property, nor anything else to fight over except the kids.<P>Good Luck

I've spent $15,000+<BR>My W has spent at least $9,000<P>Our trial has just been postponed again...<BR>...(no date even set yet)...<BR>...so it's just going to go higher and higher.<P>My W will not discuss anything!!!!<BR>Everything must go through the attorney's.<P>AND THIS IS NO LONGER A CASE OF <B>CHILD CUSTODY</B>!!!<P>Every "notice" of motion she files costs me at least $4,000.<P>This is a living nightmare!<P> <P>Jim

Geez I feel guilty....<P>I have two sessions w/my attorney @ $125.00 ea and the seperation contract is $450.00 and I think the court cost will be about $150.00<P>Bill

My lawyer cost me $500 for the dissolution, plus about $250 for court costs which I got x to pay half for.<P>I'm not sure what x paid for her attorney before she got rid of him and used mine.<P>I also went from being only 8 yrs in debt to 30 for the house. I sold $40000 worth of stock to but her out of the house, plus took capital gains hit on taxes. My pension also has a $34000 lean against it that goes to x in 3.5 yrs, that is if there is anything left by that time.<P>X lost all credibility, religion, family, friends, and reputation and is working on the kids.

Jeremy,<P>It is VERY devasting. The more money you have, the more it costs, thats for sure, but then theres people like me who are going to pay at least $10K , and I'm guessing low!!<P>I was in court numerous times at $160 per hour, tons of phone calls at $40 minimum, so I had to wait til I had at least 15 minutes worth of questions. <P>My ex, got a deal from the OW friend of the family, its costing him about $500. GRRRRR<P>Not only that, but after waiting so long for his debt reimbursement to start, I got put in a huge financial hole that I am just little by little coming out of. <P>Divorce is a NIGHTMARE!!!!!!!!! If you can do this thru mediation, I think that's the cheapest. If not, start saving <P>Dana<BR>

Jeremy,<P>I've sung the praises of getting a good attorney - I had excellent, high cost (per hour) one. She was efficient, no nonsense, gave good advice, knew what we would/would not get in court - so we avoided any court battles. Did EVERTHING for me so quickly, all legal papers in order for everything. Cost me less than 5000. My ex got a much cheaper one, blustery, inefficient - cost him MUCH more. Even made some mistakes that if I were a rotten person, could have taken advantage of.<P>After the divorce, for me I'm fine. My husband could be, but has never been good with money. I'm frugal, have always lived within my means. My ex always had debt, always will. <P>Your lifestyle will decline. Everyone's does - Kids don't even notice a change in theirs, but I prioritized, so major items remained the same (house) but things like meals and entertainment transportation drastically reduced. <BR>

this darn double posting...<p>[This message has been edited by honey.west (edited July 27, 2000).]

The actual cost of the divorce (lawyers fees and such) are only the initial monetary costs. Then you have to look at the cost of two households, cars, etc.<P>For me it should be relatively inexpensive ($500+- if she agrees to it all).<BR>But...<BR>I am retiring from the Air Force in January. Should be around $1300 a month. If she gets half my retirement (she only has to tell the court she wants it and she gets it.) I’ll be 40, so if I live to 70, it’ll cost me at least $275,000. <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Lawyer's fees are only a small part of it. Saying that the lifestyle of the custodial parent will decrease is an understatement. I now have to raise six kids on a fraction of our previous household income. The expenses of this household have only gone down slightly - I still have to pay about the same about in utilities, the same mortgage, etc., but on much less income. For no obvious reason, except the fact that his job was close to our house, he quit his job with a financially stable company to go work for a company that turned out to be apparently a lot less financially stable, and soon got laid off. My kids have certainly noticed the decline in their lifestyle - now that I can't afford to both pay the mortgage and feed them, much less anything else. I think they will notice when they are almost the only kids in school getting free lunches, when they can't go on any field trips, when they can't sign up for any activities.