I don't think he's sitting the fence. He doesn't reply, he just deletes. <P>He didn't report the October encounter either. He believes he did nothing. <P>If there's nothing from his side, there's nothing to report.<P>If there's "nothing of substance", his thinking is "why risk a confrontation?"<P>In his mind, he is not contacting her, he is simply ignoring her attempts at establishing contact. <P>In his mind, <I>omission</I> is <I>not</I> lying!<P>Can you tread lightly here? Can you accept this as a difference in approach, not values. Can you understand that he is trying to shield you first, and also himself? Your wrath is more terrible to him than anything you can imagine.<P>If you <I>must</I> confront him, do it on paper. Say "I found out from a friend that Miss X has been e-mailing you, and bumped into you in October--she revealed this to a friend, and it got back to me. I understand why you didn't tell me, because I can be pretty hard to live with when that kind of thing comes up. I think you've been doing a great job, though, so don't get me wrong; but I do wish you could have felt safe enough to tell me. We'll have to work on that. But for the moment, some friends have also suggested that you enable a block against her address so that you don't get her e-mails anymore. If she goes beyond that, please tell me so that we can decide what to do together. If you can't do it in person, you can write it to me just like I'm writing to you. If you can't do the e-mail block, please let me know why. In writing if necessary. I love you so much, and I know you love me; but finding out that she is still trying to reach you and that you haven't been able to stop her -- well, it's been a terrible thing for me. I need your help. <I>We</I> need your help. Love, Your Wife"
