competent, lovely woman<BR>betrayed (and cyber betrayer)<BR>married 2 1/2 years <BR>his affair lasted 9+ months before discovery, and MAYBE ended last month..so, 2 years, total.<BR>she was a coworker in a bad relationship, and he got her a job with him. he later quit, and though i begged him not to, he hired her again, and ended up living with her for several months without my knowledge. I suspect he still is, but he is claiming he wants me back. still rarely comes home.

- Female<BR>- Age 39 (will be 40 on 8/26)<BR>- Betrayed<BR>- Together 4 yrs before being married in 1989<BR>- Married 3 years when H admitted first affair (it was already over by then) ... I was in a depressed state during that time period and he accepted the attention of the 1st OW due to believing I didn't love him anymore.<BR>- Didn't get counselling and didn't deal with the problems surrounding the first affair (yeah, I know - DUMB!)<BR>- Married 9 years when this affair came to light - OW got drunk, tried to physically attack me and then left a message on my answering machine about how she was sleeping with my H. Confronted with this, he admitted it and announced his intention to move out.<BR>- I was diagnosed with mild clinical depression, began anti-depressant treatment and began Plan A in October 1998<BR>- H moved out in mid November 1998.<BR>- I feel we have been making baby steps forward since then, even though slug apparently moved in with him sometime around or after Christmas.<BR>- Most recently, I have been told by a couple of people that my H is miserable in his relationship, and I believe him to be depressed.<BR>- Still in Plan A and going strong (likely because he is not living with me), having fun with friends and with H when I have the opportunity<BR>- Have become a more confident, secure and healthy "me"... <BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

Female<BR>45 yrs old, married 17 yrs, 2 kids 16 and 13.<BR>betrayed<BR>H had online internet affair with younger woman Sept to Jan 98. Was planning to leave family to be with her 850 miles away. Upon discovery, he said they broke it off, but resumed affair in Nov 98 . He says they have broken it off, but he continues contact. I have asked him to move out....I am not sure if I can get past it again.<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Female 39 (a few more days)<BR>Married 17 years<BR>3 girls<BR>betrayed<BR>Kissy face thing lasted about one month<BR>Phone contact 8 more weeks<BR>Dec 98 - Feb 99<BR>Recovering nicely. <P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

female 34<BR>married 15+ years<BR>3 kids ages 15 13 and 12<BR>4 mos ago H started internet affair and went to meet her on a vacation he took 3 weeks ago,<BR>moved her and three of her kids to the area and is now living in a hotel with her

Female<BR>30<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married almost 5 years<BR>I found out almost 2 years after the fact that my husband had an emotional affair with a coworker. They only worked together the first few months. It consisted mostly of phone calls over a 3 year period. Beginning before our marriage. I'm sure it would have progressed into more had he been able to get out of the house by himself. He never goes anywhere without me or our child. He's never had any unexplained absences or not been where he was supposed to be. Thankfully, or this could be much much worse. <P>Husband can't be any more remorseful and we're working hard on saving our marriage. As soon as I get past the disgust that still plagues me daily. *sigh*<BR> <P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

married: 11 years<BR>age: 30<BR>Kids: 3 (plus mother-in-law w/alzheimers living with us)<BR>Betrayer<P>Began emotional affair 3 years after being married with a co-worker, when 1st child was a toddler. fell deeply in love, and affair turned sexual- lasted 7 more years. Finally told husband and we moved away 1 yr ago to save marriage, but am in withdrawal still. I avoid contact with ex-lover, but thoughts of him pop up many times each day.<BR>Husband wants to pretend affair never happened, can't get him to talk.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by tamis (edited August 10, 1999).]

Female<BR>29 (30 in 3 weeks)<BR>betrayer<BR>Married 8.5 years (together for 12)<BR>emotional attachment to former co-worker became physical on two occasions last Dec. then I confessed to my H. (affair 6 months total) He still loves me - amazing. We are working at putting things back together.

female<BR>age 36<BR>married 15 years (together 19 yrs)<BR>2 kids ages 6 and 9<BR>married 2yrs? when he had 1st affair w/co-worker. confessed to this one after ending 2nd one<BR>married 10 yrs when he had 2nd affair. Discovered after ~3 months, continued for 3 months before ending it<BR>married 12yrs when he had 3rd affair. discovered after ~3 months, continued for ~1 year<P>Tried to "save" marriage after 1st discovery. Attended counseling alone, he refused. I was/am ready to walk after discovery of last affair but circumstances do not allow. Never separated. He never wanted to leave and never claimed to love any of them.

Male<BR>Age 39<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 15 years<BR>Divorced 4 months<BR>Married 14 years when W started affair w/cowkr. Suspected but thought I was wrong because MIL and her are close and MIL is betrayed. MIL was helping affair the whole time.<BR>Suspicioins led me to investigate. verified.<BR>W was a bytch to me the entire time. I Filed for divorce. 2 mo later she decides she wants to work it out but won't stop lovebusting. She's getting better but I'm not sure I want to be married again.<p>[This message has been edited by fighter (edited August 10, 1999).]

Female<BR>-Age 37<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 8 1/2 years<BR>_H had an emotional affair with a woman 14 years younger than I in April while he was out of town. He claimed he was in love with her, she was his soulmate and he couldn't give her up. He wanted us both and I said nope. We have come a long way and I am grateful he has worked so hard at this. He finally came to realize she was insignificant in all this and we are rebuilding.<P>_oh, and I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when he did this...go figure! <P>------------------<BR>Joan

---Male 45<P>---Married 9 1/2 years - 6 kids (12, 9, 7, 4, 3 and 2)<P>---Betrayed<P>---Wife began internet affair nearly 1 year ago. They met 8 months ago (January). They were going to meet again 4 months ago (April), but I discovered what was going on. We're trying to put the pieces back together, but she still won't admit to doing anything wrong and I have my suspicions that she's still trolling on the internet. In plan A for 9 months now, there may be a change in that in October.

-Male<BR>-Age 43<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 10-1/2 years<BR>-Married 8 years when emotional affair started<BR>-Married 10y 3mos when affair became sexual and was revealed<BR>-Affair continuing<BR>-Informal separation from 5/99 to present with me moving out(mutual agreement). Just started a trial two week move back together, however W acting distant and irritable, signs she has something to tell me and won't yet.

Female<BR>age 46<BR>betrayed<BR>married 15 1/2 years, been together 17<BR>married 14 years when affair started<BR>married 15 years when discovered<BR>ended immediately after discovery<BR>Husband in heavy withdrawal even after 5 months.<BR>We are trying to mend this all. He wants to have that hearts and flowers, butterflies feeling about me again. By the grace of God. I pray<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Female<BR>43<BR>Betrayed<BR>9 years married (tomorrow)<BR>6 kids (yours, mine and ours)<BR>3 grand kids (wonderful wonderful wonderful)<BR>Pre-disclosure plan A (denies denies denies)<BR>Christian<BR>Thankful for MB and it's precious posters.<BR>

Ok...<P>Betrayer<BR>Female, age 36<P>Affair with co-worker after 10 yrs. of marriage. Affair lasted from Aug. 1995 until Sept. 1996.<P>Married the OM. Together we have 4 children (2 each bio and 2 step). Been living together for 2 1/2 years, married for 15 months of that).<BR>

Female 40<BR>Betrayed<BR>6 1/2 yrs married<BR>at 5yrs affair started<BR>5 1/2 yrs he left home<BR>4 kids (2kids bio his) 1 he adopted<BR>Left for us for OW he works with<BR>Has moved in with her 3 times, out twice<BR>currently living together. This is the first time he has changed his address, he filed for divorce 2 months ago, haven't heard anything since then, shows no signs of reconcilation.

Female<BR>40<BR>19 years married<BR>Betrayed and Betrayer<BR>H went through the seven year itch 12 years ago... I went through the mid-life crisis last year. Worst time of my life, would NEVER repeat it. In counseling with H and hoping and praying to hit the 20th anniversary early next year. It's a struggle for both of us. Praying for a miracle. Lots of pain.

I'm in too.<P>-Male<BR>-Married 10 years (next week)<BR>-2 girls (7 & 9)<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-W began emotional affair w/ co-worker 3-4 years ago. Marriage was in turmoil then. Asked for separation 2 years ago (also next week - yep right before anniversary). Moved OM in to our house 1 1/2 months later. Started physical affair and fell in love. Doesn't know what she wants to do. I love busted for many, many months. Am now trying to me a man instead of male.<P>------------------<BR>Janella - "...I'll be the greatest fan of your life..."<BR>Jerry<P>

- Female<BR>- Age 34 (35 next month)<BR>- Betrayed<BR>- Together 7-1/2 years,<BR> Married 6-1/2 years<BR>- H started seeing OW 1 month before our 6 year anniversary. Became sexual w/OW around our anniverary.<BR>- Affair lasted 2 months & 1 week. Ended when I was ready to leave him one day after exposure.<BR>- H regrets and feels guilty. Realizes it was wrong and wasn't worth it. In recovery for 5 months, but H has mood swings from depression and is alcoholic who is trying to stop drinking. Some days are good, some are bad....<p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited August 10, 1999).]