Here is what the early Christians wrote about divorce<P>The Early Church <P>The early Fathers of our faith were much more personally familiar with the culture and context of New Testament times than we are today. I do not however, hold to the belief that the authority of the Church Fathers can be equal to that held by the Apostles who were personally appointed and taught by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In my view, their teachings do not add to, take away, or supplement the inspired Word of God contained in the Holy Bible. They claimed the same limitations for the authority of their teachings.<P>IGNATIUS<P>In 110 A.D, while on his way in chains to Rome to be put to death by wild animals in the coliseum for his faith, Ignatius, the great leader of the Syrian Church, wrote an epistle to the Ephesians. He claimed certain limitations to his own personal authority. <P>Even though he was revered as a great Church leader, he was careful not to infer special “apostolic status” either to himself or to his writings as divinely inspired Scripture. He positions himself, the Christians in Ephesus, as well as the other Bishops who served throughout the known world, as equally running together in accordance of the will of God.<P>Ignatius wrote:<P>“I do not issue orders to you, as if I were some great person. For though I am bound for the name of Christ, I am not yet perfect in Jesus Christ. For now I begin to be a disciple, and I speak to you as fellow-disciples with me. For it was needful for me to have been stirred up by you in faith, exhortation, patience, and long-suffering.” <P>“But inasmuch as love suffers me not to be silent in regard to you, I have therefore taken upon me first to exhort you that you would all run together in accordance with the will of God. For even Jesus Christ, our inseparable life, is the manifested will of the Father; as also bishops, settled everywhere to the utmost bounds of the earth, are so by the will of Jesus Christ.” (The Epistle of Ignatius to the Ephesians) (a)<P><BR>Their doctrinal position statements were based on the same Biblical sources we use today, as well as direct interpretations and clarifications passed on to them by the Apostles and their immediate successors. Even though not first hand, they give an accurate portrayal of what Jesus taught, the Apostles believed, and the first Christians practiced and enforced throughout the Body of Christ.<P>Those Fathers who were in positions of responsible authority, called and appointed by God to serve His Church, were required as Shepherds of His sheep, to walk as He walked and to talk as He talked. Their words are good council, and should be weighted most heavily in the court of Christian opinion, but in no wise should be considered infallible or without possible error. They were after all, as we are, privileged to be standard bearers and light holders for the God of the Universe in their generations, but who were, like us, faulty sinners saved by Grace.<P>They were however, close to ground zero, at the very epicenter of the Christian earthquake that shook the world. This proximity in time to the ministry of Jesus Christ and His Apostles gave them a clear vantage point that we can no longer enjoy for ourselves. <P>We can only look back through their eyes and listen through their ears, to try and experience what they experienced, to live as they lived and die as they died for their faith. <P>These men of God had the initial responsibility to accurately define and defend what the teachings and redemption Gospel of Jesus Christ meant, not only to the millions of lost in their world, but also to the billions in ours. They had their theology rooted in Christ, their lives poured out in the present, and their minds looking to the future. <P>COMPLETE AGREEMENT<P>Of all the early recognized Church Fathers who ever wrote, all who were written about, every discussion and every debate, in thousands of surviving documents over hundreds of years, there is not a single dissenting voice on the essential core doctrines of marriage, divorce and remarriage. Each taught the same doctrine, each held the same opinion and each enforced the same morals standards you read here:<P><BR>1.<BR>HERMAS<BR>A.D. 90 <P>Hermas was sold into slavery and sent to Rome as a boy. He was later set free by his owner, a woman called Rhoda. He became known as one of the authoritative Fathers of the Church and an influential Christian writer, noted for his detailed description of early Christianity. His surviving book, “The Shepherd”, was considered to be an inspired book of the Holy Bible until the fourth century A.D.<P>“What then shall the husband do, if the wife continue in this disposition of adultery? Let him divorce her, and let the husband remain single. But if he divorces his wife and marry another, he too commits adultery.” (The Shepherd 4:1:6) (a)<P>Hermas taught:<P>1. If a spouse persists in adulterous behavior the innocent party can terminate the marriage.<P>2. If a spouse divorces for cause, they must remain single. Remarriage is expressly prohibited.<P>3. If a spouse remarries, the “innocent” party is guilty of the same kind of adultery as the original offender and will be treated accordingly.<P><BR>2.<BR>JUSTIN MARTYR<BR>A.D. 151<P>Justin Martyr was one of the great, early theologians and apologists for the Church. He had the distinction of presenting a defining explanation and defense of Christianity to Caesar and the Imperial Roman Senate. <P>His “Apology for the Christians”, written to refute charges of sedition to the Roman state, is a magnificent legal testimony of the power of early Christians to live Holy and pleasing lives in an evil and corrupted society. Justin was beheaded for refusing to sacrifice to pagan Gods.<P>“In regards to chastity, Jesus has this to say: ‘If anyone look at lust at a woman, he has already before God committed adultery in his heart.’ And, ‘Whoever marries a woman who has been divorced from another husband, commits adultery.’ “<P>“According to our teacher, just as they are sinners who contract a second marriage, even though it is in accord with human law, so also are they sinners who look with lustful desires at a woman. He repudiates not only one who actually commits adultery, but even one who wishes to do so; for not only our actions are manifest to God, but even our thoughts.” (First Apology 15) (a)<P>Justin Martyr taught:<P>1. To indulge in lust is to be guilty of adultery of the heart.<P>2. Whoever marries a divorced person commits adultery.<P>3. Whoever contracts a second marriage is sinning against God. (while a former spouse lives)<P>4. God does not, and the Church must not, take into account human law when it is in violation of God’s law.<P>5. God judges motives and intentions, private thought life and actions. All is known and exposed to the God with which we have to do.<P><BR>3.<BR>CLEMENT OF ALEXANDRIA<BR>A.D.208<P>Titus Falvius Clemens, known as Clement of Alexandria, was a Greek theologian who served as head of the famous Catechetical School in Alexandria. His writings were designed to guide mature Christians to a more perfect knowledge of God and a pure moral character. His defense of the faith exhorted morals, kindness and patience. <P>He taught that the thoughts and will of God in the Scriptures exhorts, educates and perfects the true Christian. Many scholars believe he founded the great Alexandrian School of Theology. He is listed as a martyr for his faith.<P>“That scripture counsels marriage, however, and never allows any release from the union, is expressly contained in the law: ‘You shall not divorce a wife, except for reason of adultery.’ And it regards as adultery the marriage of a spouse, while the one from whom a separation was made is still alive.” <P>‘Whoever takes a divorced woman as wife commits adultery,’ it says; for ‘if anyone divorce his wife, he debauches her;’ that is, he compels her to commit adultery.”<P>“And not only does he that divorces her become the cause of this, but also he that takes the woman and gives her the opportunity of sinning; for if he did not take her, she would return to her husband.” (Miscellanies 2:23:145:3) (a)<P>Clement taught: <P>1. The Scriptures encourage Christians to enter a marriage relationship. <P>2. The marriage union covenant is permanent and does not allow anyone to be released from the union. <P>3. The only legitimate reason for divorce is adultery, otherwise separation is prohibited. A remarriage while a former spouse lives is living in the state of adultery, therefore expressly forbidden in Scripture. <P>4. A man who divorces his wife violates and corrupts her, for if she remarries, for any reason except for the death of her husband, she becomes an adulteress. <P>5. The one who marries a divorced spouse sins not only by committing adultery with another’s spouse but also sins against God by acting as an impediment to reconciliation of the original marriage. <P>6. If the divorced spouse had remained single she would have, if possible returned the first union.<P><BR>4.<BR>ORIGEN<BR>A.D. 248<P>Origen is known as the most accomplished and significant theologian of the early Church. As a student and exegete of the Old and New Testaments, he influenced the critical thinking of the Church in his day to such an extent that his works still have major impact on doctrine and practice. He was the first teacher known to use the “allegorical” method of Scriptural interpretation. <P>It is estimated that he wrote some 5,000 thesis, tracts, epistles and books in his lifetime of service. Much of his work concentrated on refuting dangerous error and heresy. Origen was imprisoned during the reign of Emperor Decius. He was tortured to such an extent that he died from his ordeal after being released.<P>“Just as a woman is an adulteress, even though she seems to be married to a man, while a former husband yet lives, so also the man who seems to marry who has been divorced does not marry her, but, according to the declaration of our Savior, he commits adultery with her.” (Commentaries on Matthew 14:24) (a)<P>Origen taught:<P>1. The marriage covenant between a man and a woman is permanent, as long as both husband and wife are alive.<P>2. No matter what the legal circumstances may appear to be to the contrary, a remarriage relationship when either or both parties are divorced, while a former partner lives, is adultery.<P>3. The intimate relations between the man and the woman remarried under these circumstances are adulterous, and considered sin.<P>5.<BR>BASIL THE GREAT<BR>A.D. 375<P>Basil was born in Caesarea and educated in Athens. He is considered one of the great Fathers and Doctors of the Church. His writings include “On the Holy Spirit” and “Moralia.” He was asked by the Church to help defend against the Arian heretical doctrines and subsequently became Bishop of Caesarea in 370. <BR>Basil became Basil the Great because of his outstanding personal integrity and holiness as well as his brilliance as a theologian and defender of the faith.<P>“A man who marries another man’s wife who has been taken away from him will be charged with adultery…” (Letter to Amphilochius 199:37) (a)<P>Basil teaches:<P>1. It is a serious offence against God to take another person’s spouse.<P>2. The Church must charge a person who is in possession of another person’s husband or wife with adultery. (Having sexual relations with someone else’s spouse)<P>6.<BR>AMBROSE OF MILAN<BR>A.D. 387<P>Ambrose is known as one of the four original Doctors of the Church. Born in Germany and educated in Rome, He was asked to be Bishop of Milan because of his extraordinary kindness and wisdom. He above all was loved and esteemed by his people. He publicly confronted, rebuked and led to repentance Caesar Theodosius who had slaughtered thousands of Thessalonians. <BR>He wrote major treatises on Christian morality and personal Holiness, warning against adopting the world’s standards. He was influential in and perhaps decisive in bringing Augustine into a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, and received him into the Church.<P>“No one is permitted to know a woman other than his wife. The marital right is given you for this reason: lest you fall in a snare and sin with a strange woman. ‘If you are bound to a wife do not seek a divorce,’ for you are not permitted, while your wife lives to marry another.” (Abraham 1:7:59) (a)<P>(A.D. 389) “You dismiss your wife, therefore, as if by right and without being charged with wrongdoing; and you suppose it is proper for you to do so because no human law forbids it; but Divine law forbids it. “ <P>“Anyone who obeys men should stand in awe of God. Hear the Word of the Lord, which even they who propose our laws must obey: ‘What God has joined together let no man put asunder.”’ (Commentary on Luke 8:5) (a)<P>Ambrose teaches:<P>1. Sex is a marital right that is limited to one’s own husband or wife. Legitimate sexual relations with one’s spouse protects from sexual sin.<P>2. Extramarital sex is sin and a snare that will catch and kill.<P>3. It is forbidden by God for a spouse to divorce and to remarry another.<P>4. Ambrose interprets Paul’s writings in Corinthians to mean that it is forbidden for a man or woman to remarry another while a former or earlier spouse lives.<P>5. It is a wrong understanding to believe that it is simply one’s right to divorce a spouse. Even though human law may permit such a thing, God strictly forbids it.<P>6. Anyone who follows human customs and laws regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage, instead of Divine laws should stand in fearful awe of God.<P>7. All lawmakers, in and out of the Church are warned, to their peril, to hear and obey the Word of the Lord.<P>8. Jesus’ command is reaffirmed: “What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”<P>7.<BR>JEROME<BR>A.D. 396<P>Jerome, another great Father and Doctor of the early Church whose most important work was the translation of the Bible into Latin (The Vulgate). He wrote works defending the Church from Jovinian, Vigilantius and Pelagianism heretics that were threatening the Gospel of Jesus Christ<P>“Do not tell me about the violence of the ravisher, about the persuasiveness of a mother, about the authority of a father, about the influence of relatives, about the intrigues and insolence of servants, or about household financial losses.” <P>“So long as a husband lives, be he adulterer, be he sodomite, be he addicted to every kind of vice, if she left him on account of his crimes he is still her husband, still, and she may not take another.” (Letters 55:3) (a)<P>Jerome taught:<P>1. Stop making excuses for and trying to find justification for divorce and remarriage. None of it stands before God, and must not be considered at all when applying the Word of God in the Church or to our individual lives. <BR> <BR>2. A spouse may leave a husband or wife that is a serious threat or danger to life and limb. “On account of his crimes” may be a legitimate reason for separation, but if and when so, genuine repentance and reformation by the guilty party removes that right to separation as well. A marriage should then be restored.<P>3. A marriage is for life, and no matter what a spouse turns out to be, or how they may act, or the sins they commit, the covenant remains fully in effect. God does not divide the one flesh relationship.<P>4. A spouse that is separated or divorced for any reason, no matter how provoked, or how circumstances came to be as they are, is still bound to the marriage covenant, and cannot be remarried to another, as long as both live.<P><BR>8.<BR>AUGUSTINE<BR> A.D. 419<P>Augustine is widely regarded to be the single greatest Church leader and theologian between the time of the Apostles of Jesus Christ and the reformation period, and perhaps beyond. His testimony of seeking and finding God after an early life of sin is as fresh and new today in the Holy Spirit as it was then. <P>His place in the Church, among his peers can be compared as Paul’s was among the Apostles. He rigorously and effectively defended the faith from enemies on all sides. His writings are credited with influencing to an enormous extent the thinking of the great leaders of the reformation as they found their way from darkness to light.<P>“Neither can it rightly be held that a husband who dismisses his wife because of fornication and marries another does not commit adultery. For there is also adultery on the part of those who, after the repudiation of their former wives because of fornication, marry others…”<P>“No one is so unreasonable to say that a man who marries a woman whose husband has dismissed her because of fornication is not an adulterer, while maintaining that a man who marries a woman dismissed without the ground of fornication is an adulterer. Both of these men are guilty of adultery.” (Adulterous Marriages 1:9:9) (a)<P>“A woman begins to be the wife of no later husband unless she has ceased to be the wife of a former one. She will cease to be the wife of a former one, however, if that husband should die, not if he commit adultery.” <P>“A spouse, therefore, is lawfully dismissed for cause of adultery, but the laws of chastity remains. That is why a man is guilty of adultery if he marries a woman who has been dismissed even for this very reason of adultery.” (ibid., 2:4:4) (a)<P>Augustine taught:<P>1. It cannot be rightly held by those wishing to believe so that anyone who divorces their spouse for adultery and then marries another is in the will of God and avoids the sin of adultery.<P>2. It is adultery to marry another if someone is divorced and then chooses a new husband or wife.<P>3. Whether or not a spouse commits adultery or fornication does not matter insofar as remarriage is concerned. Whoever remarries while a divorced spouse lives is in the state and sin of adultery.<P>4. When a spouse remarries according to the law of the land, after a divorce, they are still married to the former spouse as long as that spouse lives. Therefore the sexual and intimate relationship they have with a new spouse is simply engaging in a forbidden relationship by sinning with a person they are not married to in the eyes of God and the Church. Chastity refers to sexual abstinence. To have sexual relations with a remarried spouse is be living in sin, and disobeying God.<P>5. A spouse can if they must, divorce their husband or wife who is guilty of adultery, but must not have a relationship with another as long as the original partner lives, for they are still in a binding life long covenant with them.<P>6. It is forbidden for a man or woman, even if they themselves were never previously married, to marry or have sexual relations with a divorced person whose spouse is still alive. They would be guilty of having sexual relations with another person’s spouse, which is the very definition of the sin of adultery.<P><BR>SUMMARY OF <BR>EARLY CHURCH DOCTRINE ON MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE<P>90 A.D. – 419 A.D.<P><BR>1. If a spouse persists in adulterous behavior and there is no other alternative, the marriage relationship can be terminated by the innocent party. (Hermas, Clement, Jerome, Augustine)<P>2. Spouses that are divorced for any reason must remain celibate and single as long as both spouses live. Remarriage is expressly prohibited. (Hermas, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>3. To indulge in lust with the mind is to be guilty of adultery of the heart. (Justin Martyr)<P>4. Whoever marries a divorced person commits adultery. (Hermas, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>5. Whoever contracts a second marriage, whether a Christian or not, while a former spouse lives is sinning against God. (Justin Martyr, Ambrose)<P>6. God does not, and the Church must not, take into account human law when it is in violation of God’s law. (Justin Martyr, Origen, Ambrose)<P>7. God judges motives and intentions, private thought life and actions. (Justin Martyr)<P>8. The marriage covenant between a man and a woman is permanent, as long as both husband and wife are alive. (Clement, Origen, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>9. It is a serious offence against God to take another person’s spouse. (Basil)<P>10. The Church must charge all persons who are in possession of another living person’s former husband or wife with adultery. (Basil)<P>11. Sexual relations are a marital right that is limited to one’s own husband or wife. (Hermas, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>12. Sexual relations with one’s legitimate spouse protects from sexual sin. (Ambrose)<P>13. Marriage and sexual relations with a remarried spouse while a former spouse lives is the sin of adultery. (Hermas, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>14. It is a serious mistake to believe that it is simply one’s right to divorce a spouse and take another. Even though human law may permit such a thing, God strictly forbids it, and cannot, and will not honor it. (Clement, Origen, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>15. Anyone who follows human customs and laws regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage, instead of God’s Divine instructions should stand in fearful awe of God Himself. (Clement, Ambrose)<P>16. All lawmakers, in and out of the Church are warned, to their peril, to hear and obey the Word of the Lord in regard to His commands on marriage and divorce. (Ambrose)<P>17. Christians are to stop making excuses and trying to find justification for divorce and remarriage. There are no valid reasons acceptable to God. (Jerome, Augustine)<P>18. A marriage is for life. No matter what a spouse turns out to be, or how they may act, what they do or don’t do, or the sins they commit, the covenant remains fully in effect. A remarriage while a former spouse lives is not marriage at all, but sinful adultery. God does not divide the one flesh relationship except by physical death. (Hermas, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Jerome, Augustine)<P>19. Marriage is a lifelong covenant that will never be invalidated by God while both parties live. (Hermas, Justin Martyr, Clement, Origen, Basil, Ambrose, Augustine)<P>IGNATIUS<P>Ignatius addressed these same types of compliance and obedience issues to the early Church in his Epistle to the Ephesians. His words echo the love and concern Ignatius modeled after the great Apostle John. These are stern warnings against not living an obedient Holy life and the necessity of being ever so careful not to fall into error. <P>Ignatius taught:<P>“None of these things are hid from you, if ye perfectly possess that faith and love towards Christ Jesus which are the beginning and the end of life. For the beginning is faith, and the end is love. Now these two, being inseparably connected together, are of God, while all other things that are requisite for a holy life follow after them.” <P>“No man truly making a profession of faith sins, or does he that possesses love hates any one. The tree is made manifest by its fruit; so those that profess themselves to be Christians shall be recognized by their conduct. For there is not now a demand for mere profession, but that a man be found continuing in the power of faith to the end…”<P>“…Do not err, my brethren. Those that corrupt families shall not inherit the kingdom of God. If, then, those who do this as respects the flesh have suffered death, how much more shall this be the case with any one who corrupts by wicked doctrine the faith of God, for which Jesus Christ was crucified!” <P>“Such a one becoming defiled in this way, shall go away into everlasting fire, and so shall every one that hearkens unto him.” (Epistle of Ignatius to the Ephesians) (a)<P><BR>WHAT DOES THE BIBLE REALLY SAY?<P>GOD'S FINAL WORD<BR>ON MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE IN THE OLD TESTAMENT<BR>Malachi 2:13 - 17<P>“…You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.” <P>“Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are His. And why one? Because He is seeking Godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. "I hate divorce," says the Lord God of Israel, "and I hate a man covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the Lord Almighty. "So guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith." (NIV)<P>Malachi's teaching:<P>1. Breaking faith with a covenant marriage partner is breaking faith with God.<P>2. The breaking of the covenant by a wayward spouse results in a severing of their relationship with God as He refuses to hear or pay attention to offerings or prayers, no matter how sincere. Obviously repentance must be sincere and restorative covenantly.<P>3. God was party to the marriage covenant as witness and an active participant by making the man and woman His own personal possession.<P>4. Faithfulness to the marriage covenant is necessary to produce Godly offspring. Without it the future of God's people is threatened.<P>5. The covenant relationship belongs to the wife or husband of the youth, the first one. This is the union that God is a witness to and the enforcer of. <P>6. Even though one of the parties may be unfaithful, as described here, to the original covenant, it remains in force for God says that the betrayed one remains the partner. This dispels the notion entirely that adultery dissolves the marriage covenant.<P>7. God twice warns specifically not to break faith with the spouse of your youth, the original union. These are direct warnings against divorce and remarriage.<P>8. Divorce is a spiritual attack with spiritual results and lasting spiritual consequences.<P>9. Divorce is a violent ripping away of the cloak covering the husband provides for his wife, and the wife for the husband.<P>10. God Hates Divorce! He truly does. That's why He never severs the covenant bonds and punishes those who violate them.<P>This is God's final word on marriage and divorce in the Old Testament. Those hoping to apply some earlier Old Testament provision allowing divorce and remarriage should be careful. God was increasingly leading people closer to the New Testament age in which we live. <P>This is the immediate Biblical backdrop to the arrival of the Messiah. Jesus' own teachings closely follow the same principles given here. He then takes it several steps farther.<P><BR>THE NEW TESTAMENT TEACHINGS ON MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE<P>A<BR>Matthew 5:31,32<P>"You have heard that the Law of Moses says, 'A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a letter of divorce.' But I say that a man, who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (NLT) <P>Jesus' Teaching:<P>1. Jesus' words supersede Moses' instructions.<P>2. A spouse involuntarily divorced commits adultery if remarried while the former spouse lives.<P>3. Anyone who marries another who was divorced, while the former partner still lives, even if that person was divorced involuntarily, commits adultery.<P>In this passage on marriage and divorce, the first book in the New Testament, which was written primarily to the Jews, Jesus sets the standard for His Church to follow regardless of previous, incomplete teachings given by Moses. Jesus states emphatically that any party to a marital divorce with a former spouse still living, cannot marry again without committing adultery. He also declares that the one marrying a person so divorced is equally guilty of committing adultery. <P>By this teaching our Lord shows that God's original standard is now being enforced. He indicates that marriage is a binding covenant relationship as described by God Himself in Malachi 2:14, and not just a human contract that can be broken. Here the validity of the marriage covenant is considered by Jesus to survive any act of divorce, thereby precluding any remarriage. <P>The statement qualifier at the introduction of the teaching indicates that there is a difference in circumstances involving “porneia”, or fornication, translated here as “marital unfaithfulness” (parektoB lojou porneiaB), than those that do not. The Greek root word "porneia", means fornication, which is different than adultery, which is itself always translated from the Greek root word “moiceia”. In this passage, and the one to follow, Jesus was referring to the Jewish betrothal process. After all, He was speaking to Jewish lawmakers on legal matters. <P>This tradition, based upon Jewish law and custom provided a way for the husband to back out of a marriage if it was proved that the woman being married was not a virgin upon sexual consummation. Joseph considered putting away Mary, the mother of Jesus, when he found out she was with child, thinking she had been guilty of “porneia”, but an angel revealed to him that The Holy Spirit was the father, not another man.<P>A literal translation of verse 32 in the original Greek is as follows:<P>“But I tell you, anyone who puts away his wife, except for fornication (porneia), causes her to become an adulteress (moiceia), and anyone who then marries the woman put away in such a way, commits adultery (moiceia).”<P>In other words, unless she is dismissed on grounds of “porneia” (fornication), which means having sexual relations while unmarried, she cannot rightfully and morally be put away. If she is put away, or divorced, and subsequently remarries, then she now becomes an adulteress herself, guilty of “moiceia” (adultery), having sexual relations with someone other than her spouse. In addition the man who marries her also enters into “moiceia”(adultery), since he has not really married her at all, but instead, having sexual relations with another man’s wife. <P>John Gill, in his historic commentary stated:<P>”that is, as much as in him lies: should she commit it, he is the cause of it, by exposing her, through a rejection of her, to the sinful embraces of others; and, indeed, should she marry another man, whilst he is alive, which her divorce allows her to do, she must be guilty of adultery (moiceia); since she is his proper wife, the bond of marriage not being dissolved by such a divorce.” <P>In the New Testament, fornication (root Greek word “porneia”) refers generally to illicit sex of unmarried persons outside of a marriage covenant or its spiritual counterpart. Fornication (porneia) may also be used to describe sexual sin in an overall sense that includes any and every form of sexual vice including adultery (moiceia), but if so, that occurs specifically only in 1 Cor. 5:1. That case involved a form of incest, which is not considered adultery (moiceia), but rather fornication (porneia). That is not the case in Matthew's two accounts involving marriage, divorce and remarriage. The occurrences of “fornication” (porneia), or forms of the root word in The New Testament are as follows:<P>Matthew 5:32 <BR>“But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except ‘porneia’ causes her to commit adultery (moiceia); and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery (moiceia).” (NKJV)<P>Matthew 15:19 <BR>“For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries (moiceia), ‘porneia’, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” (NKJV)<P>Matthew 19:9 <BR>“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for ‘porneia’, and marries another, commits adultery (moiceia); and whoever marries her that is divorced commits adultery (moiceia).” (NKJV)<P>John 8:41 <BR>“’You do the deeds of your father’”. Then they said to Him, “We were not born of ‘porneia’; we have one Father – God.” (NKJV)<P>Acts 15:20<BR>“but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from ‘porneia’, from things strangled, and from blood.” (NKJV)<P>Acts 15:29 <BR>“that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from ‘porneia’.” (NKJV)<P>Acts 21:25 <BR>“…they should from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from ‘porneia’.” (NKJV)<P>1 Cor. 5:1 <BR>“It is actually reported that there is ‘porneia’ among you, and such ‘porneia’ as is not named among the Gentiles – that a man has his father’s wife!” (NKJV)<P>1 Cor. 6:13 <BR>“…Now the body is not for ‘porneia’ but for the Lord, this is to shame you…” (NKJV)<P>1 Cor. 6:18 <BR>“Flee ‘porneia’. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but He that commits ‘porneia’ sins against his own body.” (NKJV)<P>2 Cor. 12:21 <BR>“Lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many whom have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, ‘porneia’, and lewdness which they have practiced.” (NKJV)<P>Galatians 5:19 <BR>“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery (moiceia), ‘porneia’, uncleanness, lewdness” (NKJV)<P>Ephesians 5:3 <BR>“But ‘porneia’ and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not be named among you, as is fitting for saints.” (NKJV)<P>Ephesians 5:5 <BR>“For this you know, that no ‘porneia’, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.” (NKJV)<P>Colossians 3:5 <BR>“Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: ‘porneia’, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (NKJV)<P>1 Thessalonians 4:3 <BR>“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from ‘porneia’.” (NKJV)<P>Revelation 2:21 <BR>“ And I gave her time to repent of her ‘porneia’, and she did not repent.” (NKJV)<P>Revelation 9:21 <BR>“And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries, or their ‘porneia’ or their thefts.” (NKJV)<P><BR>Jesus was teaching that the man in question who divorced his wife would cause his wife to commit adultery when she is forced to remarry in order to survive, and that any man that subsequently marries her is also in sin. The point Jesus was making is that it is a sin for a man to put his wife into that position. Jesus is condemning divorce and remarriage for all the parties involved, not defining an exit clause. <P><BR>B.<BR>Matthew 19:3-12<P>“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave His father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." <P>“They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery." <P>“His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man and his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." (NKJV)<P>Jesus' teaching:<P>1. A husband and wife are to leave their parents and cleave to each other.<P>2. When a man and a woman marry God makes them one flesh. No one may separate them. Anyone attempting to do so will fail, as well as pick a fight with God. <P>3. By Divine Decree God declares that no man has the authority to alter a supernatural unifying act of God, and consequently God neither recognizes any human decision to the contrary nor obligingly cuts the one flesh body in half.<P>4. A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, by sinning against her, in contravention of the covenant union.<P>5. It is better for some not to marry, namely eunuchs, those with sexual impairments, and those who choose to do so for God's service. He tells all to accept His teaching.<P>In Matthew’s account of this confrontation, also recorded in Mark, Jesus restores the standard concerning marriage. He also gave an insider's view of what God's standards are, and affirms that they are unchanged since the beginning. Since Matthew’s Gospel was written as a witness to the Jews he emphasized certain points not found in Mark’s account, since Mark was writing primarily to the Romans.<P>As in Jesus’ earlier recorded teaching, the exception clause ‘except for marital unfaithfulness’ is the Greek word “porneia”, or rendered properly in English as “fornication”. It refers only to the Jewish betrothal custom of the time, backed by the law. That was when a bride was found upon marriage consummation not to be a virgin; the bridegroom could divorce her for “porneia” and then marry another. <P>A literal original Greek translation of verse 9 is as follows:<P>“And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, except for fornication (porneia), and marries another, commits adultery (moiceia); and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery (moiceia).” <P>Matthew Henry quoted Dr. Whitby as follows:<P>“Dr. Whitby understands this, not of adultery (moiceia), but (because our Saviour uses the word porneia (porneia)- fornication ) of uncleanness committed before marriage, but discovered afterward; because, if it were committed after, it was a capital crime, and there needed no divorce. He disallows it in all other cases: ‘Whosoever puts away his wife, except for fornication (porneia), and marries another, commits adultery (moiceia).’ This is a direct answer to their query, - ‘that it is not lawful’.”<P>All those listening to the debate expected Jesus to side with either the "Hillel" school of thought that believed that divorce was legal for any and every reason, or the "Shammai" group, that taught adultery was the only legitimate reason for divorce. He surprised His hearers with a new, uncompromising position, disallowing divorce and remarriage at all.<P><BR>C.<BR>Mark 10: 2 –12<P>“Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with a question: ‘Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?’ 'What did Moses say about divorce?' Jesus asked them. ‘Well, he permitted it," they replied. He said a man merely has to write his wife an official letter of divorce and send her away.’” <P>“But Jesus responded, ‘he wrote those instructions only as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness. But God's plan was seen from the beginning of creation, for; "He made them male and female." This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." Since they are no longer two, but one, let no man separate them, for God has joined them together.’” <P>“Later, when he was alone with his disciples in the house, they brought up the subject again. He told them, ‘whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and remarries, she commits adultery.’" (NLT)<P>Jesus' teaching:<P>1. The old covenant allowed divorce only as a concession to hard - hearted wickedness.<P>2. God changes a man and woman’s status upon marriage and unites them into one. <P>3. Jesus declares that no one must separate a husband and wife.<P>4. If a man divorces his wife and marries another, he is committing adultery.<P>5. A woman who divorces her husband and remarries commits adultery.<P>6. Jesus treats both males and females the same insofar as marriage and divorce.<P>This is Marks' account of the same conversation recorded in Matthew 19. Being written to Roman gentile Christians, he provides us further understanding of Jesus’ teaching and the interpretation intended for us to take. As we know from both accounts, the disciples were shocked and disturbed by Jesus' answer to the Pharisees. <P>They waited until they could get Him alone to ask Him for verification and clarification. He confirmed what He meant by firmly slamming the door on divorce and remarriage forever. Giving them the bottom line, He declared: <P>"Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery (moiceia) against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and remarries, she commits adultery (moiceia)." (Mark 10: 11 – 12 NLT)<P>As with the disciples, there is great dismay and shock when the words of Jesus, recorded here, are spoken to the Church today. It was difficult to accept and obey back then, just as it is now. In having this private meeting recorded for us, the Holy Spirit has clearly detailed God's stand on marriage and divorce and remarriage.<P>D.<BR>Luke 16: 15 - 18<P>"Then He said to them, "You like to look good in public, but God knows your evil hearts. What the world honors is an abomination in the sight of God. Until John the Baptist began to preach, the Law of Moses and the messages of the prophets were your guides. But now the good news of the Kingdom of God is preached, and eager multitudes are forcing their way in.” <P>“But that doesn't mean that the law has lost its force in even the smallest point. It is stronger and more permanent than heaven and earth. Anyone who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery and anyone whom marries a divorced woman commits adultery" (NLT)<P>Jesus' teaching:<P>1. It is irrelevant what the world thinks or does or what its opinions are. God does not agree with the world and what the world honors is an abomination to God.<P>2. The words of Jesus Christ are to be our instructions from that time to this.<P>3. The moral law is still in force and being enforced. It is more permanent than heaven and earth; not even the smallest part is changed. It will be in effect forever. Obedience to the law does not produce salvation, but disobedience is sin, and punishable by God.<P>4. Anyone who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery.<P>5. Anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.<P><BR>This passage of scripture makes the teachings of Jesus rather clear-cut. He states that whatever the worlds standards are, they are not to be adopted by his followers. <P>He declares that the law of God is permanent, and righteous. He then gives an example of what He meant by declaring the permanence of marriage. Anything to the contrary is a violation of His law, and therefore is forbidden as adultery.<P>There is a comprehensive unity throughout the Gospels in regard to marriage that dovetails perfectly into his commands on forgiveness and faithfulness. This may be best expressed in the Lord's Prayer that removes all possible reasons for divorce: <P>"Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us." (Matthew 6: 12 NLT)<P><BR>E.<BR>(Matthew 14: 3-4 NIV, Mark 6: 17-20, Luke 3: 18-20)<P>“Now Herod had arrested John and bound him and put him in prison because of Herodias, his brother Phillips wife, for John had been saying to him: ‘It is not lawful for you to have her.” (Matthew 14: 3-4 NIV) <P>“For Herod himself had given orders to have John arrested, and he had him bound and put in prison. He did this because of Herodias, his brother Phillip’s wife, whom he had married. For John had been saying to Herod, ‘It is not lawful for you to have your brother’s wife.’<P>“ So Herodias nursed a grudge against John and wanted to kill him, but she was not able to, because Herod feared John and protected him, knowing him to be a righteous and holy man…” (Mark 6: 17-20 NIV)<P>“And with many other words John exhorted the people and preached the good news to them. But when John rebuked Herod the tectrarch because of Herodias, his brother’s wife, and all the other evil things he had done, Herod added this to them all: He locked John up in prison.” (Luke 3: 18-20 NIV)<P>John the Baptist’s teaching:<P>1. The moral laws of God apply to all, the Godly and the ungodly equally.<P>2. The divorce of Herodias from Phillip was unrecognized by God, as John declares that she was still Phillip’s wife.<P>3. The sexual relationship of Herod with Herodias was adultery in God’s eyes, as She belonged still, to Phillip.<P>John the Baptist, contrary to the teachings of corrupted religious leaders and the prevailing culture of the day, was compelled to properly apply the word of God. He confronted Herod for marrying his brother’s wife while his brother still lived. Herod and Herodias were breaking the commands of God, and John, not being a respecter of persons, confronted him accordingly. It was not improper or considered incest for Herod to marry Phillip’s wife, if Phillip had died. In Mark we find the Sadducees quoting Moses: <P>“…Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother.” (Mark 12: 19 NIV) <P>The problem was that Phillip was very much alive and ruling the adjacent territories of Iturea and Traconitis. (Luke 3:1) Paul explained the difference between divorcing and remarrying instead of having your husband or wife die, and then remarrying. He wrote in Corinthians: <P>“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes…” (1 Corinthians 7:39 NIV)<P>and in Romans:<P>“… so then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress, but if her husband dies, she is released from that law, and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” (Romans 7:3 NIV)<P>The serious nature of the transgression of Herod and Herodias is underscored by the high cost of John the Baptist’s stand against it. Herodias had John beheaded by taking advantage of and manipulating Herod’s lust for her daughter. Most people, when confronted with their sin and convicted by the Holy Spirit lash out in denial and rage. <P>The standards of God are high, and the people of God are commanded to obey them, regardless of personal cost. John’s obedience to God cost him his life. Herod and Herodias’ disobedience has probably cost them much more.<P><BR>F<BR>Romans 7: 1 - 3<P>“… You who are familiar with the law - don't you know that the law applies only to a person who is still living? Let me illustrate. When a woman marries, the law binds her to her husband as long as he is alive. But if he dies, the laws of marriage no longer apply to her.” <P>“So while her husband is alive, she would be committing adultery if she married another man. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law and does not commit adultery when she remarries” (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. Marriage survives remarriage and precludes it.<P>2. Marriage is binding as long as both husband and wife are still living.<P>3. Remarriage while the spouse lives is the sin of adultery.<P>4. The marriage covenant ceases upon the death of the spouse.<P>5. When death breaks a marriage, the living spouse may remarry.<P><BR>This reference by Paul is extremely important in a number of ways that are different from other scriptures on marriage, divorce and remarriage. What we have here is a description of what the first century Christians believed in regard to these subjects. <P>It is not being taught as doctrine, but referred to as a commonly held principle of morals and law. It is a key to understanding what the apostle and the Church understood as right and wrong.<P>What is even more remarkable is that Paul hinges on this principle, as an illustration, the doctrine of grace, the forgiveness of sins and the empowerment by the Holy Spirit. The apostle, using this statement of belief to illustrate the core covenants of the blood of Christ underscores both its common knowledge and its importance. <P>Here in the first letter after the Gospels in the New Testament is a summary of what Jesus taught, the disciples understood, and the early Christians believed. Here is no less than a written witness of what was and remains the foundational understanding of Christianity insofar as morality is concerned.<P><BR>G.<BR>1 Corinthians 7: 10 - 11<P>"Now for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife." (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. This command has the full authority of the Creator and is the fundamental principle and interpretive device to understanding all that God has instructed us on Marriage, divorce and remarriage. It binds Paul, the early Church and we today to its overriding command, and it is not negotiable, conditional or non applicable in all matters pertaining to it. This is not simply a statement of what God considers to be an ideal, but a direct command.<P>2. A wife must not leave her husband.<P>3. A provision is made for those who have had to be separated from their spouse for any reason whatsoever - Singleness.<P>4. Remarriage for divorced or separated spouses is strictly forbidden.<P>5. Upon separation or divorce the spouses can (and should) be reconciled.<P>It is difficult to imagine how Paul could state any clearer what the Christian doctrine, as defined by the Lord Jesus himself, is and forever will be. He goes into greater detail in the rest of the chapter to illustrate how it is put into practice and how to apply the principle in the situations faced by real people in the real world who are called by His name.<P>In every single application described in the rest of this chapter, Paul uses this command of the Lord Jesus Christ as the only plumb line of truth. We can do no less.<P><BR>H.<BR>1 Corinthians 7:12 - 17<P>"Now I speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command of the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a Christian Woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.” <P>“For the Christian wife brings Holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings Holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not have a Godly influence, but now they are set apart for him. (But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them, for God wants his children to live in peace.)” <P>“You wives must remember that your husband might be converted because of you. And you husbands must remember that your wives might be converted because of you. You must accept whatever situation the Lord has put you in and continue on, as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the Churches. " (NLT)<P>Paul's Teaching: <P>1. This doctrine and practice is given not only to the Corinthian Church, but to us as well.<P>2. A Christian husband is to treat his unchristian wife the same way he would if she was a Christian. A Christian wife is to treat her unbelieving husband the same way she would if he was a Christian.<P>3. God compensates for the ungodly influence of the unbelieving spouse by the direct influence of the Holy Spirit through the Christian spouse, setting apart the children for himself.<P>4. As long as the unbelieving spouse wants to live together, the Christian must not leave.<P>5. If the unchristian spouse wants to leave or divorce, let them go in peace, don’t try to force them to stay.<P>6. The Christian husband or wife must bear in mind that they may be able to lead their unchristian spouse to the Lord because of the way they handle these matters.<P>7. Christians in unfavorable marital circumstances are commanded to accept the situation they are in and specifically instructed not to try to change it by separation or divorce.<P>Paul's instructions are in conformity and obedience to the direct command of the Lord expressed in verses 10 and 11. He instructs the Christians to act like Christians regardless of the actions of their spouses. We must bear in mind everything we do is a testimony to our children and our unbelieving or wayward spouses. Nowhere in this passage is there the slightest allowance for divorce and remarriage.<P>The message, not a word for word translation, but a paraphrase designed to say things the way we would say them today, renders verses 15 to 17 as follows:<P>"On the other hand if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can.” <P>“You never know wife; the way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you, but also to God. You never know husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you, but also to God" (THE MESSAGE)<P>I.<BR>1 Corinthians 7: 25 - 30<P>"Now about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord about them. But the Lord in his kindness has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is best to remain just as you are.”<P>“If you have a wife, do not end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not get married. But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married it is not a sin. However I am trying to spare you the extra problems that come with marriage.” <P>“Now let me say this, the time that remains is very short, so husbands should not let marriage be their major concern. Happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God's work." (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. Paul is giving his best advice on how to handle particular applications of the previously stated principles.<P>2. During a time of trouble it is easier not to be married.<P>3. If a man has a wife, do not end the marriage. If a man does not have a wife, don't get married.<P>4. If an unmarried woman wants to get married, let her.<P>5. If a man does not have a wife it is not a sin to marry.<P>6. Don't let marriage be your major concern, it's not first in importance, God is.<P>7. Christians must do God's work and obey him, no matter what the marital circumstances. Personal happiness or sadness must not alter our obedience in decisions and activities.<P>Paul does not have a direct command from the Lord regarding the unmarried, so again he applies the Lord's command given in verse 10. Although he advises that being single is easier, as stated throughout the letter, he declares that if there is an unmarried man or woman, it is not a sin if they get married. <P>The word for young woman implies a maiden or virgin, and applies to the masculine gender equally. If a man or woman is virginally unmarried, they may marry. If on the other hand anyone is already married, stay married as per the Lord's command.<P>The King James Version, the historic mainstay of the English speaking Church, stands out as a variant in modern understanding of two words in this passage, something the original English translators would never have intended in 1611. <P>The use of the words "bound and loosed" as the appropriate present day English words for “married and unmarried” has provided considerable comfort for those seeking loopholes to run divorce and remarriage camels through. They ignore the reference to the virginal unmarried precondition and stretch "loosed" to refer to those that had previously been married, but subsequently divorced.<P>With a blind eye to the Lord's command that if separated or divorced they are to remain single, many rationalize away the rest of the restraining teachings and proceed to do what seems right in their own eyes. Even a cursory look at the subject matter disallows such liberties. But in case any misunderstood him, Paul again explains what he meant in the verses to follow.<BR> <P>J.<BR>1 Corinthians 7:35 - 40<P>" But if a man thinks he should marry his fiancée because he has trouble controlling his passions, and time is passing, it is all-right, it is not a sin. Let them marry. But if he has decided firmly not to marry, and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries does well, and the person who doesn't marry, does even better.” <P>“A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, but this must be in a marriage acceptable to the Lord. But in my opinion it will be better for her if she doesn't marry again, and I think I am giving you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this." (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. Christians who have never been married are free to marry if they wish. <P>2. Christians who have never been married are free not to marry if they wish.<P>3. A Christian is married to their spouse as long as they both live and the covenant bond is unbreakable while both live.<P>4. A Christian is released upon death of a spouse to remarry.<P>5. The marriage has to be acceptable to the Lord.<P>6. Some second marriages after the death of a spouse are not acceptable to the Lord.<P> <BR>As Paul prepares to turn to other matters he ties up loose ends by summing up his instructions on marriage, divorce and remarriage. Again all his advice conforms to the command of Christ given in verses 10 and 11:<P>"Now for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single, or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife." (NLT)<P> <BR>With this teaching Paul closes off the subject, no doubt satisfied that his teaching is plain enough to settle all the questions the Church may have on the subject. He addressed every question he considered important enough to deal with, and he was right, He did. The problem is that many disagree with his statements and have tried to subvert them or redirect their obvious applications. <P>Over and over again Paul states and restates the same themes, without variation, in obedience to the Lord's instructions given him. It matches up perfectly with what Jesus commanded us in the Gospels: <P>"Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together." (Matthew 19: 6 NLT)<P><BR>K.<BR>Ephesians 5: 21-33<P>"And further, you will submit to one another out of reverence to Christ. You wives will submit to your husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of His body, the Church; he gave His life to be her savior. As the Church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything.” <P>“And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the Church. He gave up His life for her to make her Holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to Himself as a glorious Church without spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead she will be Holy and without fault.” <P>“In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man actually loves himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for His body, which is the Church. And we are His body.” <P>“As the scriptures say, 'a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the Church are one. So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." (NLT)<P>Paul's teaching:<P>1. Mutual submission of both husband and wife to each other is an act of worship and obedience to Christ.<P>2. Wives are to submit themselves to their husbands and respect them in the same way they are to submit themselves to the Lord.<P>3. The Church is to submit to Christ in the same way that wives are to submit to their husbands. He laid down His life for those who are in His Body, the Church.<P>4. The husband is the head of the home in the same way as Christ is the head of the Church. He is to lay down his life for his wife in the same way Christ lived and died for the Church.<P>5. The husband is required to love and forgive his wife in the same way as Christ loves and forgives the Church. Regardless of her faults he is to see her through Christ as spotless and pure.<P>6. A husband and wife are actually one flesh, not is some sort of flexible symbolic way, but in another, more substantial but mysterious way, as a divine act of God, just as Christ is united into one with those who are part of His Body.<P>Paul again repeats his other teachings on marriage, further giving us insight on just how central it is to the message of Jesus Christ and the law of love in the New Testament. It is clear here that marriage is not just another ideal given by God, but a mystery that symbolizes and models the very nature of the relationship He has chosen to have with us. He binds both husband and wife together in the same way as He binds himself to us. <P>The very nature of this entire scripture and its context underscores the permanence of marriage and the one flesh relationship of husband and wife. Each is to extend the same kind of commitment, forgiveness and longsuffering to the other that Christ extends to us.<P><BR>L.<BR>Hebrews 13: 3 - 8<P>"Give honor to marriage, and rema

WOW...<BR>...one for the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000554.html" TARGET=_blank>Notable Posts/Threads</A> post!

Very interesting. Do you know of anywhere in the Bible where it actually spells out when a "marriage" has taken place? It cannot be just a civil/church ceremony, since doctrine makes it clear one cannot be "divorced" by the authorities, that implies one cannot be married either simply by saying "I do" and getting a license. What about living together, is that marriage? I suspect marriage occurs in the heart when 2 people actually recognize (without deliberate thought, in other words you cannot "pick" your other half, it is preordained) each other rightly in some spiritual sense, and that "occurs" the instant this happens, and has nothing to do with licenses or vows. It seems to me (from observation) that many "marriages" are not marriages at all, but freewill mistakes made to cohabitate, as people did not listen to God about who He intended for them to "marry". Further, some say marriage is about sex, then that implies that everyone must be virginal or they are an adulterer, and will always be so, and thusly contaminate any "marriage" they enter. If this is the test, then only those marriages of 2 virgins, who also have never had a PA, are true marriages. I suspect that is a very small number of marriages. So what do we do with all this doctrine you posted, well, I am not really sure. But it does have serious holes in it re human behaviour, and the nature of the intimate relationship we call marriage. I suspect for this doctrine to make any real sense, one has to really understand what oneflesh means, and near as I can tell, no one does. What I do know though, is oneflesh has nothing to do with a marriage license or a ceremony. It has to do with your heart, and not just any 2 hearts can come together as oneflesh.

Hi,<P>Good question, and one that is perhaps a lot simpler than than it first appears. I believe a covenant marriage is any union between a Biblically eligible man and a woman where a marriage is intended and intentional by both parties, and intentions are clearly communicated and accepted by both parties, regardless of culture, religious persuasion, or historical timeline. God allows us as a species to choose our lifelong mate. Our free will once exercised, becomes His only choice, equally for the righteous and the unrighteous.

<B>SpiritofHope</B>,<P>Wonderful screen name and interesting post. I can't say that I have time to read the whole thing, though...I have to get some sleep tonight .<P>One quick thought--based on your post several of the early fathers seem to agree with adultery as a cause for divorce, but to not feel that remarriage under such circumstances is allowed. By allowing divorce, this would mean that a partner no longer need keep the covenant terms to "love, honor and cherish", since they would no longer live together, care for one another, and perhaps even ever see one another. However, the "forsake all others" part is still required.<P>It does not seem logical to me that you can abrogate one part of a covenant and expect the rest to still be in force. Just a thought.<P>Steve

While I agree with the scriptures as read that God does hate a divorcing (Malachi 2:15 & 16), Jesus also said in Matt 19:8 & 9 that "Moses, out of regard for your hardheartedness, made the concession to you of divorcing your wives, but such has not been the case from the beginning. I say to you that whoever divorces his wife except on the ground of fornication [extramartial intercourse], and marries another commits adultery." So the innocent mate is permitted but not required, to divorce a mate who commits fornication/adultery. the adultery was commited by the one who broke the marriage vow. <P>Death releases one from the bond of marriage. <P>Adultery is one form of fornication. This act of adultery is in direct violation of God's law which was in place even before the Mosaic law. Joseph the son of Jacob knew about this when he fled from Potiphar's wife and this was before the nation of Israel was a nation. <P>The interesting thing about this sin, is that it is the only sin where the Bible shows it is a sin against God and man. Against God because it is in his written law that is on our conscience but also against our mate. <P>God's law was not so stiff that it did not allow the victim the right to remarry. No, the injured spouse (BS) could either forgive the WS or chose the divorce and remarry without violating any of God's laws, principles or commandments. <P>There is a difference between a scriptural and a legal divorce. One is a piece of paper, the other is a vow before God and man - a spoken promise. Matthew 5:37 "Just let your word YES mean YES, your No, No, for whiat is in excess of these is from the wicked one."<P>Just more thoughts. <P>L.<P><BR>

Marriage, besides being about the most emotionally demanding experience (for good and/or bad) humans can participate in, and all that that implies....is also a fascinating problem in scriptural understanding. Everything we know about marriage is interpretive, that is, we read the Bible, and try to discern what all the references to marriage really mean, or more commonly, we read what others say and adopt their interpretations as our own. Since all interpretations are done by wo/man, and we are all imperfect, then so are the interpretations, none of them can be "perfect". This is a sobering realization. Marriage is clearly important re our behaviour, we can know that from the emphasis made in the Bible, and I think we also know it in our hearts, part of the inherent knowledge we all carry about being human. Marital doctrine (as culturally expressed) seems to naturally divide into 2 positions....either it is an absolute, and we all get only one chance, no appeal....or it is not an absolute, and it must be "right" and only really exists when it is right...meaning one can "divorce" a marriage that is not working right (whatever that means of course). <P>I don't think a case can be made for absolutism, and consider those who advocate such, worshiping legalism, something God also clearly warns us not to do. No one knows the mind of God with absolute certainty, and although God hates divorce (who doesen't, we all do), nowhere does God specifically say in no uncertain terms that 2 human beings are bound by God's will, and cannot/willnot be seperated. At the very least God can clearly seperate us, and may very well move in our lives such that a divorce takes place, He has that power. Further that if we marry out of freewill, that means we can marry wrongly, but it also means we have freewill to divorce rightly or wrongly as well. It makes no logical or scriptural sense to say freewill is never wrong in marrying, but can be in divorcing. If freewill is truly free, then we can make marital errors too, or we must assume God does not care who we marry, and has no interest in that part of our lives. But if He has no interest in who we marry, why do we interpret He has such a great interest in divorce? Absolutism has many serious logical defects. And since God created us with brains that run on logic, I assume we are expected to use them in that way, as well as our hearts. The most stark example of the difficulties with absolutism is abuse. Two people "marry" and one spouse is an abuser, something that clearly horrifies any rational human being, shakes us to our core, how can one do that to someone they love, and are oneflesh with? Further, why in creation would God sanctify that? Some will play mindgames with such being God's will, for some mysterious purpose, and that we "chose" so must live forever with that choice (including being murdered by ones spouse), oh so sad, and we cluck, and shake our heads, and are secretly greatful we did not choose so poorly.<P>Of course, I cannot prove that in fact this suffering is not God's will, so where does that leave us. Each of us must assess for ourselves what marriage is, no one can tell us, cause no one knows with absolute knowledge. None of those writers you posted about knows, none of the writers today knows, IMO one can only pray about this and try to discern what God replies with. However, I do think we can make some reasonable assessments, the first being that absolutism is an unreasonable extension of scripture. Marital scripture is a subset of the Bible, and as most of us know, the narrower the focus on scripture (of any kind), the more likely we get it wrong in the larger context. It is comforting to human beings to follow "rules" it means we do not have to think, or be accountable for our choices. We can just sigh and say I must do this cause God says so. Focus on the rules, and not God's true will for us. This IMO is a seductive and dangerous mindset re any and all Christian behaviour. Absolutism takes all personal responsibility away from us, how and who you marry are no longer important, just that you are "married". Now we are worshiping the rules, and no longer focused on God's will. We just make a big rule, that says God does not care who or how we marry, He just requires us to stay married, in effect saying the people are not important, only the institution. This flies in the face of everything the Bible says, that God is a personal saviour, and cares deeply about his children. Some say well He does, that honoring vows etc is good for us, maybe...but God also talks a great deal about love, and how important that is. So if who we marry makes no difference, and we honor the vow, we must wonder how there can be so much misery in marriage. One of the expectations of Christian behaviour is that when we live rightly, we will know it, and have peace in our souls. <P>Clearly then something is seriously wrong. Even among Christians there are far too many marriages that are anything but loving, and this should not be. Which brings us back to why, why if marriage is nothing more than following the rules, do we have such unhappiness? Folks then go to the tried and true rationalization that life is not about happy, is about obedience, and that we are tried in many ways and if we just follow the rules (knowing full well, we can never be sure we got the rules exactly right), we will be rewarded. Unfortuneately this sounds way too much life "doing good works" is the path to heaven. I don't know the answer to this either, but I do think God gave us the capacity for emotions for a reason, so we would listen to our hearts and not just our heads, and that "happy" is a very important indicator of where out life is, including how right we are on our Christian walk.<P>Ok, so if marriage is not as absolute as these writers would like us to believe, what is it. IMO the Bible gives us a model of what marriage is supposed to be like, and makes it clear that intent is of critical importance. Further I do not think the institution is what is important to God, but the intent is. I think 2 people who maintain the picture of a marriage (to satisfy legalism), but in their hearts (and this takes both) do not want to be there, are in fact not married in God's eyes, but are making a mockery of marriage and live in sin. I think we take our marriages to God, and if our hearts are right, God blesses us, and provides the model of what marriage should look and feel like to us as a means of assessing our marital lives. If, for whatever reason, our hearts are not right, we do a diservice to our spouse and ourselves. In short every marriage is unique, and only the participants and God can assess whether it is a marriage or an accomodation. There is something unexplainable (although many have tried) about being oneflesh, that mergeing and bonding into another human being. It cannot be done simply by choice, otherwise it would make no difference who we marry, we know that it does make a difference who we marry. One can (with enough effort) tolerate anyone I suppose, but that is not what marriage is about IMO, it is I think the oneflesh union of 2 people God made specifically for each other. I don't think oneflesh unions ever divorce, or even contemplate divorce, I think people divorce when they recognize in their freewill behaviour they married for reasons and not for the heart, and have to face that cold hard reality. Reasons of lust, financial security, fear of being alone, wanting to be rescued, and a host of other selfish reasons. One should only marry when the other person is more important to you, than you yourself, AND, when the other person feels the same. This is not easy to discern, being messy selfish humans, but I do think when it happens people can and do recognize it, and that I think is a part of what oneflesh means.<P>IMO God leaves our marital choices up to us, and will bless any oneflesh union. If we have not married as He intended then I don't think we are scripturally married at all. This is a lot more difficult than just following rules, cause it requires personal accountability, not just getting someone to wear your ring, and figuring that's it, you got someone who must love and cherish you forever now. Unless the possibility exists that a marriage can be dissolved, if it is not right, then marriage means nothing at all. Is a game to be won, bind another human being to you forever. But I do think God knows what is in our hearts, and if we marry or divorce manipulatively things will not go well for us. On the other hand, if we try our best, and simply err as humans do, I don't think He intends for marriage to be a legalistic life sentence, but instead a heart choice. I hear far too often, you made a vow you HAVE to love me, why would anyone want a spouse to stay with them out of duty, and not love? A marital vow is an oxymoron of sorts, it implies one can make themself love someone else. Does anyone believe that is true? Yes, you can make yourself honor the "contract", and that is the bottom line, is marriage about love, oneflesh, or is it a business deal. Some (many) say it is a business deal, they may be right, but from what I can see and understand about God, and His revealed word, marriage is about love, a special kind of love, a oneflesh love, a love that cannot be chosen, is not about caring or respect, and will only be felt for one other human being. It is not about choice, not about kids, not about how long you have been with someone, it arises out of who God made for us.<BR>

You have made some good points, but I think the bottom line is that God's word was given us in order to instruct us. The teaching is clear. Divorce and remarriage is forbidden. <P>I know that does not sound like intelligent, reasonable thinking these days when every word is mitigated and contested. Thats OK. We will all have an opportunity to have Him weigh our arguements against His word. The bottom line is not our happiness or wholeness, but our santification and holiness through Him. Thats the way I see it anyway.

Well....the teaching is not really all that clear, or there wouldn't be so much discussion on this point in Christians's lives....esp. when you take into effect other verses, such as:<P>Matthew 19:9 - And I say to you: whoever divorces his [spouse], EXCEPT for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." <P>I Corinthians 7:15 "But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is NOT BOUND." <P>Taking these verses together with the rest of the verses you gave, seems to indicate that while not God's highest for us, divorce under a very specific circumstance (adultry) is the EXCEPTION to the rule (of not divorcing) and that when a spouse leaves (abandones the marriage), one does NOT commit adultery if they remarry...they are no longer bound. <P>How does that fit in?<P>Just a question...<BR>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<p>[This message has been edited by Mrs.O (edited May 10, 2001).]

Dear Mrs. O,<BR>As written in the essay, this is the teaching on those portions of scripture you mentioned. I have included a couple extra portions as they are all tied in. If you read a little further down in the original posting as there are many other Biblical teachings that pertain directly on these sections.<P>You can also go to <A HREF="http://members.truepath.com/godsway/reform.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://members.truepath.com/godsway/reform.htm</A> and click on the Biblical teaching portions.<P>Matthew 5:31,32<BR> <BR> "You have heard that the Law of Moses says, 'A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a letter of divorce.' But I say that a man, who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery." (NLT) <P>Jesus' Teaching:<P>1. Jesus' words supersede Moses' instructions.<BR> <BR>2. A spouse involuntarily divorced commits adultery if remarried while the former spouse lives.<P>3. Anyone who marries another who was divorced, while the former partner still lives, even if that person was divorced involuntarily, commits adultery.<P>In this passage on marriage and divorce, the first book in the New Testament, which was written primarily to the Jews, Jesus sets the standard for His Church to follow regardless of previous, incomplete teachings given by Moses. Jesus states emphatically that any party to a marital divorce with a former spouse still living, cannot marry again without committing adultery. He also declares that the one marrying a person so divorced is equally guilty of committing adultery. <P>By this teaching our Lord shows that God's original standard is now being enforced. He indicates that marriage is a binding covenant relationship as described by God Himself in Malachi 2:14, and not just a human contract that can be broken. Here the validity of the marriage covenant is considered by Jesus to survive any act of divorce, thereby precluding any remarriage. <P>The statement qualifier at the introduction of the teaching indicates that there is a difference in circumstances involving “porneia”, or fornication, translated here as “marital unfaithfulness” (parektoB lojou porneiaB), than those that do not. The Greek root word "porneia", means fornication, which is different than adultery, which is itself always translated from the Greek root word “moiceia”. In this passage, and the one to follow, Jesus was referring to the Jewish betrothal process. After all, He was speaking to Jewish lawmakers on legal matters. <P>This tradition, based upon Jewish law and custom provided a way for the husband to back out of a marriage if it was proved that the woman being married was not a virgin upon sexual consummation. Joseph considered putting away Mary, the mother of Jesus, when he found out she was with child, thinking she had been guilty of “porneia”, but an angel revealed to him that The Holy Spirit was the father, not another man.<P>A literal translation of verse 32 in the original Greek is as follows:<P>“But I tell you, anyone who puts away his wife, except for fornication (porneia), causes her to become an adulteress (moiceia), and anyone who then marries the woman put away in such a way, commits adultery (moiceia).”<P> In other words, unless she is dismissed on grounds of “porneia” (fornication), which means having sexual relations while unmarried, she cannot rightfully and morally be put away. If she is put away, or divorced, and subsequently remarries, then she now becomes an adulteress herself, guilty of “moiceia” (adultery), having sexual relations with someone other than her spouse. In addition the man who marries her also enters into “moiceia”(adultery), since he has not really married her at all, but instead, having sexual relations with another man’s wife. <P>John Gill, in his historic commentary stated:<P>”that is, as much as in him lies: should she commit it, he is the cause of it, by exposing her, through a rejection of her, to the sinful embraces of others; and, indeed, should she marry another man, whilst he is alive, which her divorce allows her to do, she must be guilty of adultery (moiceia); since she is his proper wife, the bond of marriage not being dissolved by such a divorce.” <P>In the New Testament, fornication (root Greek word “porneia”) refers generally to illicit sex of unmarried persons outside of a marriage covenant or its spiritual counterpart. Fornication (porneia) may also be used to describe sexual sin in an overall sense that includes any and every form of sexual vice including adultery (moiceia), but if so, that occurs specifically only in 1 Cor. 5:1. That case involved a form of incest, which is not considered adultery (moiceia), but rather fornication (porneia). That is not the case in Matthew's two accounts involving marriage, divorce and remarriage. The occurrences of “fornication” (porneia), or forms of the root word in The New Testament are as follows:<P>Matthew 5:32 <BR>“But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except ‘porneia’ causes her to commit adultery (moiceia); and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery (moiceia).” (NKJV)<P>Matthew 15:19 <BR> “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries (moiceia), ‘porneia’, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” (NKJV)<P>Matthew 19:9 <BR> “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for ‘porneia’, and marries another, commits adultery (moiceia); and whoever marries her that is divorced commits adultery (moiceia).” (NKJV)<P>John 8:41 <BR> “’You do the deeds of your father’”. Then they said to Him, “We were not born of ‘porneia’; we have one Father – God.” (NKJV)<P>Acts 15:20<BR> “but that we write to them to abstain from things polluted by idols, from ‘porneia’, from things strangled, and from blood.” (NKJV)<P>Acts 15:29 <BR> “that you abstain from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from ‘porneia’.” (NKJV)<P>Acts 21:25 <BR> “…they should from things offered to idols, from blood, from things strangled, and from ‘porneia’.” (NKJV)<P>1 Cor. 5:1 <BR> “It is actually reported that there is ‘porneia’ among you, and such ‘porneia’ as is not named among the Gentiles – that a man has his father’s wife!” (NKJV)<P>1 Cor. 6:13 <BR> “…Now the body is not for ‘porneia’ but for the Lord, this is to shame you…” (NKJV)<P>1 Cor. 6:18 <BR> “Flee ‘porneia’. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but He that commits ‘porneia’ sins against his own body.” (NKJV)<P>2 Cor. 12:21 <BR> “Lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many whom have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, ‘porneia’, and lewdness which they have practiced.” (NKJV)<P>Galatians 5:19 <BR> “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery (moiceia), ‘porneia’, uncleanness, lewdness” (NKJV)<P>Ephesians 5:3 <BR> “But ‘porneia’ and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not be named among you, as is fitting for saints.” (NKJV)<P>Ephesians 5:5 <BR> “For this you know, that no ‘porneia’, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God.” (NKJV)<P>Colossians 3:5 <BR> “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: ‘porneia’, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.” (NKJV)<P>1 Thessalonians 4:3 <BR> “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from ‘porneia’.” (NKJV)<P>Revelation 2:21 <BR> “ And I gave her time to repent of her ‘porneia’, and she did not repent.” (NKJV)<P>Revelation 9:21 <BR> “And they did not repent of their murders or their sorceries, or their ‘porneia’ or their thefts.” (NKJV)<P><BR>Jesus was teaching that the man in question who divorced his wife would cause his wife to commit adultery when she is forced to remarry in order to survive, and that any man that subsequently marries her is also in sin. The point Jesus was making is that it is a sin for a man to put his wife into that position. Jesus is condemning divorce and remarriage for all the parties involved, not defining an exit clause. <P><BR>B.<BR>Matthew 19:3-12<P>“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave His father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." <P>“They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery." <P>“His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man and his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." (NKJV)<P>Jesus' teaching:<P>1. A husband and wife are to leave their parents and cleave to each other.<P>2. When a man and a woman marry God makes them one flesh. No one may separate them. Anyone attempting to do so will fail, as well as pick a fight with God. <P>3. By Divine Decree God declares that no man has the authority to alter a supernatural unifying act of God, and consequently God neither recognizes any human decision to the contrary nor obligingly cuts the one flesh body in half.<P>4. A man who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, by sinning against her, in contravention of the covenant union.<P>5. It is better for some not to marry, namely eunuchs, those with sexual impairments, and those who choose to do so for God's service. He tells all to accept His teaching.<P>In Matthew’s account of this confrontation, also recorded in Mark, Jesus restores the standard concerning marriage. He also gave an insider's view of what God's standards are, and affirms that they are unchanged since the beginning. Since Matthew’s Gospel was written as a witness to the Jews he emphasized certain points not found in Mark’s account, since Mark was writing primarily to the Romans.<P>As in Jesus’ earlier recorded teaching, the exception clause ‘except for marital unfaithfulness’ is the Greek word “porneia”, or rendered properly in English as “fornication”. It refers only to the Jewish betrothal custom of the time, backed by the law. That was when a bride was found upon marriage consummation not to be a virgin; the bridegroom could divorce her for “porneia” and then marry another. <P>A literal original Greek translation of verse 9 is as follows:<P>“And I say to you, whoever puts away his wife, except for fornication (porneia), and marries another, commits adultery (moiceia); and whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery (moiceia).” <P>Matthew Henry quoted Dr. Whitby as follows:<P>“Dr. Whitby understands this, not of adultery (moiceia), but (because our Saviour uses the word porneia (porneia)- fornication ) of uncleanness committed before marriage, but discovered afterward; because, if it were committed after, it was a capital crime, and there needed no divorce. He disallows it in all other cases: ‘Whosoever puts away his wife, except for fornication (porneia), and marries another, commits adultery (moiceia).’ This is a direct answer to their query, - ‘that it is not lawful’.”<P>All those listening to the debate expected Jesus to side with either the "Hillel" school of thought that believed that divorce was legal for any and every reason, or the "Shammai" group, that taught adultery was the only legitimate reason for divorce. He surprised His hearers with a new, uncompromising position, disallowing divorce and remarriage at all.<P><BR>1 Corinthians 7: 10 - 11<P>"Now for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife." (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. This command has the full authority of the Creator and is the fundamental principle and interpretive device to understanding all that God has instructed us on Marriage, divorce and remarriage. It binds Paul, the early Church and we today to its overriding command, and it is not negotiable, conditional or non applicable in all matters pertaining to it. This is not simply a statement of what God considers to be an ideal, but a direct command.<P>2. A wife must not leave her husband.<P>3. A provision is made for those who have had to be separated from their spouse for any reason whatsoever - Singleness.<P>4. Remarriage for divorced or separated spouses is strictly forbidden.<P>5. Upon separation or divorce the spouses can (and should) be reconciled.<P>It is difficult to imagine how Paul could state any clearer what the Christian doctrine, as defined by the Lord Jesus himself, is and forever will be. He goes into greater detail in the rest of the chapter to illustrate how it is put into practice and how to apply the principle in the situations faced by real people in the real world who are called by His name.<P>In every single application described in the rest of this chapter, Paul uses this command of the Lord Jesus Christ as the only plumb line of truth. We can do no less.<P><BR>H.<BR>1 Corinthians 7:12 - 17<P>"Now I speak to the rest of you, though I do not have a direct command of the Lord. If a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she is willing to continue living with him, he must not leave her. And if a Christian Woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.” <P>“For the Christian wife brings Holiness to her marriage, and the Christian husband brings Holiness to his marriage. Otherwise, your children would not have a Godly influence, but now they are set apart for him. (But if the husband or wife who isn't a Christian insists on leaving, let them go. In such cases the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them, for God wants his children to live in peace.)” <P>“You wives must remember that your husband might be converted because of you. And you husbands must remember that your wives might be converted because of you. You must accept whatever situation the Lord has put you in and continue on, as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the Churches. " (NLT)<P>Paul's Teaching: <P>1. This doctrine and practice is given not only to the Corinthian Church, but to us as well.<P>2. A Christian husband is to treat his unchristian wife the same way he would if she was a Christian. A Christian wife is to treat her unbelieving husband the same way she would if he was a Christian.<P>3. God compensates for the ungodly influence of the unbelieving spouse by the direct influence of the Holy Spirit through the Christian spouse, setting apart the children for himself.<P>4. As long as the unbelieving spouse wants to live together, the Christian must not leave.<P>5. If the unchristian spouse wants to leave or divorce, let them go in peace, don’t try to force them to stay.<P>6. The Christian husband or wife must bear in mind that they may be able to lead their unchristian spouse to the Lord because of the way they handle these matters.<P>7. Christians in unfavorable marital circumstances are commanded to accept the situation they are in and specifically instructed not to try to change it by separation or divorce.<P>Paul's instructions are in conformity and obedience to the direct command of the Lord expressed in verses 10 and 11. He instructs the Christians to act like Christians regardless of the actions of their spouses. We must bear in mind everything we do is a testimony to our children and our unbelieving or wayward spouses. Nowhere in this passage is there the slightest allowance for divorce and remarriage.<P>The message, not a word for word translation, but a paraphrase designed to say things the way we would say them today, renders verses 15 to 17 as follows:<P> "On the other hand if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can.” <P>“You never know wife; the way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you, but also to God. You never know husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you, but also to God" (THE MESSAGE)<P>I.<BR>1 Corinthians 7: 25 - 30<P>"Now about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord about them. But the Lord in his kindness has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is best to remain just as you are.”<P>“If you have a wife, do not end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not get married. But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married it is not a sin. However I am trying to spare you the extra problems that come with marriage.” <P>“Now let me say this, the time that remains is very short, so husbands should not let marriage be their major concern. Happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God's work." (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. Paul is giving his best advice on how to handle particular applications of the previously stated principles.<P>2. During a time of trouble it is easier not to be married.<P>3. If a man has a wife, do not end the marriage. If a man does not have a wife, don't get married.<P>4. If an unmarried woman wants to get married, let her.<P>5. If a man does not have a wife it is not a sin to marry.<P>6. Don't let marriage be your major concern, it's not first in importance, God is.<P>7. Christians must do God's work and obey him, no matter what the marital circumstances. Personal happiness or sadness must not alter our obedience in decisions and activities.<P>Paul does not have a direct command from the Lord regarding the unmarried, so again he applies the Lord's command given in verse 10. Although he advises that being single is easier, as stated throughout the letter, he declares that if there is an unmarried man or woman, it is not a sin if they get married. <P>The word for young woman implies a maiden or virgin, and applies to the masculine gender equally. If a man or woman is virginally unmarried, they may marry. If on the other hand anyone is already married, stay married as per the Lord's command.<P>The King James Version, the historic mainstay of the English speaking Church, stands out as a variant in modern understanding of two words in this passage, something the original English translators would never have intended in 1611. <P>The use of the words "bound and loosed" as the appropriate present day English words for “married and unmarried” has provided considerable comfort for those seeking loopholes to run divorce and remarriage camels through. They ignore the reference to the virginal unmarried precondition and stretch "loosed" to refer to those that had previously been married, but subsequently divorced.<P>With a blind eye to the Lord's command that if separated or divorced they are to remain single, many rationalize away the rest of the restraining teachings and proceed to do what seems right in their own eyes. Even a cursory look at the subject matter disallows such liberties. But in case any misunderstood him, Paul again explains what he meant in the verses to follow.<BR> <P>J.<BR>1 Corinthians 7:35 - 40<P>" But if a man thinks he should marry his fiancée because he has trouble controlling his passions, and time is passing, it is all-right, it is not a sin. Let them marry. But if he has decided firmly not to marry, and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries does well, and the person who doesn't marry, does even better.” <P>“A wife is married to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wishes, but this must be in a marriage acceptable to the Lord. But in my opinion it will be better for her if she doesn't marry again, and I think I am giving you counsel from God's Spirit when I say this." (NLT)<P>Paul's' teaching:<P>1. Christians who have never been married are free to marry if they wish. <P>2. Christians who have never been married are free not to marry if they wish.<P>3. A Christian is married to their spouse as long as they both live and the covenant bond is unbreakable while both live.<P>4. A Christian is released upon death of a spouse to remarry.<P>5. The marriage has to be acceptable to the Lord.<P>6. Some second marriages after the death of a spouse are not acceptable to the Lord.<P> <BR>As Paul prepares to turn to other matters he ties up loose ends by summing up his instructions on marriage, divorce and remarriage. Again all his advice conforms to the command of Christ given in verses 10 and 11:<P>"Now for those who are married I have a command that comes not from me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single, or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife." (NLT)<P> <BR>With this teaching Paul closes off the subject, no doubt satisfied that his teaching is plain enough to settle all the questions the Church may have on the subject. He addressed every question he considered important enough to deal with, and he was right, He did. The problem is that many disagree with his statements and have tried to subvert them or redirect their obvious applications. <P>Over and over again Paul states and restates the same themes, without variation, in obedience to the Lord's instructions given him. It matches up perfectly with what Jesus commanded us in the Gospels: <P>"Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together." (Matthew 19: 6 NLT)<P>I hope this helps <BR>SpiritofHope

Here's my comment/question on this topic:<P>Few, if any, of these early biblical scholars existed in a world where women were free and equal in legal standing to men. Their words are very, very clearly geared to the male side of this. The wording bothers me a great deal when you try to apply it to our world - I am not the chattel or property of my husband as women in those days were.<P>I have a real problem with this. The God that I know and understand WILL NOT condemn me if I find love with someone AFTER my husband has put me aside in divorce. The God that I know understands that divorce is NOT my choice, that my husband's involvement with another woman is NOT my choice, that the life I have been thrust into without my husband is NOT my choice. And He will not condemn me to a life without love because of something my husband has done TO me.<P>I have given my marriage my best shot at this point, my devotion and love are true. God made man and woman to be help mates for each other, to love, honor and nurture each other, and, in so doing, they love and honor God. I find it impossible to believe that a kind and loving God would find it wrong for me if several more years down the line I find someone to love who loves me in return.<P>In the early days of Christianity, communities were tightly knit and dependent upon one another for the survival of all. A person who sinned was punished by the community in the name of God. A person who injured another paid dearly - sometimes with his own life. A man would have a difficult time committing adultery without getting caught. Today, this isn't so... the people who get punished are the ones that want the marriage when the wayward spouse chucks it all. If you don't have children, you don't even really count at all...<P>But I digress... I do have a question: Why is it that the sin of the wayward is visited upon the betrayed? Why is it that I am to be required to choose between being a good Christian, or having a full life shared with a mate? Let's make it plain: I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS and I DO NOT WANT IT. However, the law of the LAND will eventually grant my husband a divorce if he chooses to pursue one. Why am I the one punished for his sin?<P>Personally, I do not believe that I will be. But if I were to accept what you are saying, I would have to accept that I can never be with another man... I would have to truly accept that I could never have a child of my own flesh... I would have to believe that God would punish me for sharing my love with someone new.<P>Doesn't sound particularly just or loving, does it?<P>BTW, SpiritofHope ... did you obtain permission to reprint that essay here? I don't want to be a trouble maker, but you did quote the entire article, pretty much ... and if you had permission, you should have indicated that. Here is the information on the copyright of the article you printed above:<BR><B><I>© Copyright 2000 and 2001 by Stephen Wilcox, All rights reserved<BR>Permission for casual distribution and posting to web sites may be requested by contacting Theological Foundations.<BR>Contact by e-mail: theologicalfoundations@hotmail.com</I></B><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Dear Terri,<P>Your position on the subject is the common one today, as is your preception on the nature of God in relationship to His more restrictive commands. Most I am sure agree with you. Thank you for your comments though, as you have come at this thing openly and firmly.<P>I do have permission from Theological Foundations to post to this site, as I am the author of the thesis, and the Executive Director of Theological Foundations.<P>

Thanks for your follow-up, SpiritofHope. I'm not saying that I disagree with you at all. I pretty much do believe like you believe. <P>However, I do have to stop and ask myself what those other scriptures mean....just how do they apply and how do I enterpret them? They wouldn't be there is you were meant to ignore them or count them as not-as-important as the others.<P>Also, addressing <B>terri's</B> point, I'm not of the belief that just because something doesn't seem "just" (i.e. being alone the rest of my life), it isn't still the right thing to do. That may be EXACTLY what God is asking of us. That is why sin is so devastating....no matter what kind of sin it is. It has far-reaching effects and no, it's not just or loving, but it wasn't God's doing....it was your spouse's doing.<P>If you got in a car wreck, cause by a drunk driver, and you lost your leg because of the accident, that too wouldn't be "just or loving" for God to allow you to suffer that way. Why doesn't He just give you a new leg, since you aren't the one who caused the accident? <P>Well, we don't know why, but He doesn't (usually). God's plans and laws are set...He created them for our own good. So if they <I>seem</I> unjust or unloving, that is only from our miniscule, earth-bound viewpoint.<P>I still don't exactly know where I stand on this discussion myself. I <B><I>strongly</I></B> believe that God hates divorce and never intended us to participate in it. But here it is and here we all are, dragged into it beyond our desire. I also strongly believe that too many people today get divorced too easily. As well, we think we deserve to live a life happily-ever-after with a spouse. We don't necessarily deserve that. In fact, if we got what we deserved, we'd all be dead, because of sin.<P>We are given what we have by the grace of God. We try to be perfect, even as He is perfect. He has given us guidelines and rules on how to live our lives. We fail sometimes. Others fail us sometimes. I think we need to be very careful to not justify our own actions because of the bad decisions someone else has made that reflects on us badly.<P>We should not make God into our own image, just because we don't want to be alone or don't think it's just. (Hey, I'm "preaching" to myself as much as anyone else, here....not directed toward any one in particular.)<P>God never promised us that life would be just....he did, however, <B>promise</B> us that we would have problems. Weird, huh? Just because God is loving doesn't mean He always gives us what we want.<P>So, to sum up....I don't want to go thru life without a close, loving partner either. That really, really bums me out. But more importantly, I don't want to disobey God. So I need to really find out what the scripture says, and follow it. I will be held accountable. And I think that true happiness is gained by following God's precepts, not my own feelings, thoughts, etc.<P>Thanks for the good discussion. May we all earnestly seek God to give us the wisdom to discern His word.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

SpiritofHope,<P>Since you are the author of the thesis, I have to admit I am somewhat puzzled and concerned about your motives for posting it at a site devoted to helping support people who are facing divorce against their wishes and wills. If you are hoping to prevent divorce with the points you make in your thesis, my suggestion is that you work on the judicial system, the legislators and the divorce attorneys. There are people here who are absolutely CRUSHED by the happenings in their lives. What you are doing is providing a means for them to now feel guilty about their pursuit of happiness. I certainly hope that that is NOT your intent, but it IS what will happen.<P>Sorry if I seem to be harsh in this message, but I feel very protective of the very real and very raw emotions that people at this forum are feeling...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Dear Terri,<P>I would be remiss in my duty as a fellow Christian if I did not point out what the Bible teaches on the subject to those who are making divorce and remarriage decisions. There are plenty of statements denying those presented here, which includes your own posted earlier, so I do not think it unfair to squeeze in a little truth. <P>Surely you do not object to the Word of God being presented in an uncompromised fashion that pretains directly to the situations and questions at hand, do you, even if you disagree with them? Or do you believe that as you wrote earlier that the opinions of those whose words are written here are irrelevant to today's society and gender realities?<P>My motive? you ask, is as written here: <P>"But , dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you "In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow there own ungodly desires." These are men who will divide you, who follow mere natural instincts, and do not have the Spirit.<P>But you, dear friends, build yourselves up in your most Holy Faith, and pray in the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.<P>Be merciful to those who doubt, snatch others from the fire and save them, to others show mercy mixed with fear - hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.<P>Jude 17-23 (NIV)<P>

Spirit....since you cannot know with absolute certainty your interpretations are correct, what would you say is the degree of confidence? And what if you are wrong? Would you agree that no one can follow anyone elses ideas in such matters, that they must discern God's will in their life for themself? Would you also agree that God has the power to move in one's life using divorce and remarriage, if He so sees fit? Lastly (already asked, but maybe I missed it), when exactly does marriage occur, and where is this spelled out, as well as an unambiguous definition of oneflesh. It occurs to me when we take scripture to absolute manmade interpretations we will always miss the mark of God's will. For example, if one marries a mentally retarded individual, do they (the mentally retarded person) have the mental capacity to have sufficient intent to marry and be oneflesh? Scripture makes no allowance for this, but commonsense would tell us one must have sufficient mental capacity to enter marriage rightly (meaning the conclusion you reach has some error). If not, then marriage is only a physical act, also makes no sense (cleaveing requires mental capacity). Finally using your standards of marriage, what percentage of say our (usa) population is married and sinfree? The trouble with absolutism, or legalism, is that if there exists one flaw, no matter how small, in the reasoning, the whole thing collapses. Clearly marriage is important, and I think intimately connected to intent (which implies behaviour in a marriage does count), but it cannot be a matter of "rules". But aside from all that, if one does remarry, and asks for God's forgiveness in the first marital failure, and gives the second marriage to God, are you suggesting God turns away? Thx for your posting here, this is very interesting, and a confusing subject for Christians dealing with marital disharmony.

Dear Sad and Lonely, (makes me feel like Ann Landers) LOL<P>This is what I posted before. I will go into a little more detail:<P>"I believe a covenant marriage is any union between a Biblically eligible man and a woman where a marriage is intended and intentional by both parties, and intentions are clearly communicated and accepted by both parties, regardless of culture, religious persuasion, or historical timeline. God allows us as a species to choose our lifelong mate. Our free will once exercised, becomes His only choice, equally for the righteous and the unrighteous."<P>Every culture that has been identified in history and is presently in the world today has marriage as its most important institution. There is not a single exception that I am aware of. Not only did the Empires, states, countries and tribes consider it so, but also nearly every individual that was ever born on this planet.<P>Each society knows how a mate is found and picked. Each knows what constitutes a proper marriage ceremony that gives meaning for them and the family. And in each case there is the intention and capacity for permanence and faithfulness. This is a base instinct given by the Creator, and I do mean a cross race, cross culture, cross time commonality.<P>We would agree with some methods, and profoundly disagree with others, but the participants like it just fine. It does not matter what religion they are, or gender rights and obligations. They understand what marriage is.<P>Its the same with us. If in the hyper Calvinist tradition God is Soveriegn and decisive in all things, the mate you picked was the one He picked for you. If on the other hand, as for the Armenians, God is Soveriegn, but allows you to choose your own, He will agree to it just as firmly. In any case He does not pick someone other than the one you married and covenantely made one flesh with, so long as you both shall live.<P>One of the greatest lies of the evil one is that feeling or knowledge, something like a call of the wild, that God has just the one for you out there somewhere, and it is not the one you are covenanted to the rest of your life. That is like the mermaids that sing on the rocks seducing sailors to their destruction.<P>Its rather plain, if you had not been married before and neither had your spouse, you are both mentally competant and Biblically permitted, then you are married for life. Praise God. <P>But My Soul, what bessings will He give to those who will stay in their covenant regardless what the other one does, and even though separated, have God for a best Friend. I know personally <BR>

SpiritofHope,<P>I wanted to thank you for posting the church's doctrine concerning the covenant of marriage, and linking back to the original website.<P>God's word isn't always easy to follow. But for Christians, this truly "makes sense"---a marriage is a covenant blessed by God, and no man can put it aside. It certainly is a struggle---particularly for those divorced against their will. But God never promised us an easy life; He promised us a life after this one with Him. I'm particularly grateful that this is one test that I haven't been put to.

I've been reading this thread with interest, but I too, wondered exactly what was your purpose Spirit, by posting your article. <P>I think for the most part, you are preaching to the choir here. Most here, are being divorced against their wills. Their decision to find another marriage partner is between themselves and God, and whatever religious/spiritual understanding that they have...<P>I find it interesting however, that you are quoting early Catholic church fathers, scripture and teachings. Because you did, I'm going to give you my Catholic understanding of marriage.<P>From a Catholic perspective, there IS basically no such thing as divorce. You are either married, or you aren't, under the sacraments of the Church which is a sacred covenant with God. <P>Civil "divorce" really has no bearing under the Catholic understanding of marriage. Which is why divorced Catholics are allowed to continue to receive the sacraments, and are not considered to be living in sin.<P>I am divorcing my husband. I need legal protection for myself and for my children. I would be remiss in my obligation to my children, given to me by God, if I did not. From your articles and approach, am I correct in understanding that you feel that my decision is less than the morally correct one?<P>Just because society at large understands the concept of marriage and places importance upon it, does not mean that individuals within that society do. Again from a Catholic perspective, and with a much more advanced understanding of psychology and spirituality, as Catholics, we are finding that we are human, and we do make mistakes...such as entering into a marital covenant with someone who is not capable of reciprocating or binding himself/herself in such a vow. Which is why there are annulments. <P>We are human, we aren't perfect. We have free will. God lets us do as we please and as we choose. We make mistakes - and the annulment process acknowledges that...and lets us find renewal of spirit through it.<P>Marriage should provide for the spiritual growth and nurturing of the mates....and if a marriage is entered into without that "understanding" and "capablity" - then there is very little of that spiritual atmosphere for protection and growth.<P>Should someone remain in a marriage that will encourage your spiritual destruction? I recall sitting in my parish priest's office one Sunday evening, pouring out my heart to him over the troubles in my marriage. He simply and gently said to me: "BR, no one, especially the Catholic Church, expects you to remain in a marriage that is spiritually degrading to you".<P>But your argument seems to be contrary to that position...that some how, regardless of the harm done to my soul and the spiritual welfare of my children, not to mention our material welfare as my H takes his financial support elsewhere.....that I should stay married.<P>Frankly, I see a civil divorce as nothing. It's legal protection. I'll still be a married woman - until the day that I finish the annulment process - which simply acknowledges that my H and I made a mistake, that our covenant did not exist, because we were human, and fallible, and were not able to fully enter into the sacred covenant with full free will and understanding of what we were doing.<P>And at that point, I hope that I will find healing enough, forgiveness enough, that I will be able to find a life partner that will want to share with me the beauty and the spiritual and emotional growth and fullfilment that a marriage covenant with God should be.<P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

SpiritOfHope,<P>Perhaps I missed it in those long posts, but could you expand on what "Biblically eligible man and woman" means?<BR>