Joe,<p>I regret my inferrals and implications in yesterday's postings on the topic "Rather have sex or be married".<p>I would rather be an encourager, and didn't do so well at that in my dialogue with you.<p>I posted one more time to it - I hope you will revisit that topic.<p>I hope that you will be encouraged, and hope that you do well. I won't expect anything in return (like a "thanks buddy" or "no problem" or anything like that)... even so to the point that if I still seem graceless to you in and of myself, I hope you will be encouraged...<p>and that is a matter of actual fact
...yes, this is true<p>ilmf

I truly appreciate the fact that you took the time to reach out to me and express your regret for the comments that you expressed to me yesterday in the emotional needs forum towards my thread.<p>When I said constructive criticism, I should have been more specific. Like Slapnuts post that brought to my attention a valid and constructive criticism that I had not taken into consideration. The fact that I was beign insensitive to the married people in the forum that were trying very hard to fix problems like the lack of SF in their relationship.<p>In retrospect, I wish I had been truly sensitive and remembered that most of the people in the EN forum are still married. That is why in my last post I apologized (I'm sorry, I know you hate the word with a passion) to those folks that really were hurt by my initial post, and I still regret that I may have inadvertenly opened up painful wounds in the present state of their marriages.<p>I'm not going to lie to you and say that I was not tempted many times to respond in kind to your posts, especially to the one where you equated my behavior with my GF with my xWW's behavior during her multiple sexual affairs with men that had prison records. But the few brain cells I have left told me that it would do nobody any good because it would only cause the thread to evolve into a flame war. So I said to myself, let the da** thread die.<p>I wish you and yours the very best ilmf.<p>Joe

Joe,<p>Here's a post you'll enjoy from me, then...
...I agree
And I know that "agreeing" isn't even an objective in any of these forums, but it's a bonus and easier grounds for conversation in most cases.<p>Yes... I think I will be glad to see that one go to the back pages too.
...and that really about covers it.<p>I would very honestly rather encourage anyone, regardless of differences in perspective, philosophy, standards... or whatever. To add a little cheer in spirit goes farther and does more good in the long run than standing some ground.<p>When I wrote "this" last night, all I wanted was to restore for you, some of the "positive" in your spirit that I had personally dampened. As such, all I'd have even subtly asked in return would have been an acknowledgment.
...In your grace, you have given beyond that.<p>Funny thing... a "double-jeopardy" of a sort it was, an irony - because I knew that you were no "newbie" and knew that you have suffered a great deal with your former situation, even from that I pre-supposed a bit more about what you may have intended than was correct. (I really did know a fellow about five years ago whose marriage went waaaay south, and following its demise he did come a-gunnin' for other "marrieds". The pattern seemed to match... "seemed" isn't really good enough, and everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. Abnormal for me to withold that from anyone, but for some reason I did with you...<p>Well... it's all covered now. No need to overanalyze, and what's been graced away needn't be explained away.<p>It's about impossible for me to post a short post, eh?<p>I'm glad you are well
(I am encouraged when I see others doing well)<p>...off to the EN board now...
and if I see you there (because you may have something that warrants posting there, just as well and just as useful to the rest of us as any of us) you may consider yourself assured that I'll sincerely consider and if applicable sincerely reply to anything you say there or anywhere<p>you know... I doubt if there is anyone in the world that likes/drinks coffee more than me...
(thought you'd find that interesting)<p>Joe, no need for you to reply at all to this thread. Though it's a kind one on all accounts, it may as well follow the lesser one that it sprang from. With all so well, I won't be "checking" this particular one again. When you read "this" post, just smile and be encouraged and cheered as much as you can (even if you are already in a grand spirit) because that's its purpose and asks nothing more of it.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>ilmf:<strong>"you know... I doubt if there is anyone in the world that likes/drinks coffee more than me...
(thought you'd find that interesting)"</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Ha! A case of coffee envy. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I took the name TooMuchCoffeeMan because I work the graveyard shift and a fellow coworker observed my coffee habits and made the comment 'You drink too much coffee man'.<p>As I said to starfish, I sometimes suffer from time to time from the dreaded 'foot in mouth' syndrome. So I was saddened to acknowledge that I made a terrible mistake in beign insensitive to the other folks on the board with my stupid comment. But that is history and hopefully I learned my lesson which is to think before typing.<p>Catch later.<p>Joe