Except it's no dream...Somewhere between Nod and consciousness I was "feeling" what stirred me and thought "here I go again"...Satan knocking, reminding me I'm not worthy of the fruits I have for too long spoiled! Sat for a moment, (cover your eyes Football Widows) turned on ESPN to see who won the game and in a twinkling ('Tis the season for puns) almost gave way to my first real temptation to watch PORN in quite awhile...however, my 2 boys and I each selected a new password number, without knowledge of each of our selections, to our digital access last week!
PHEW! FIRST real temptation in quite awhile and even in consciousness I had forgotten we changed the password...how deep some sicknesses are. But I kicked it's [censored] with my armor of righteousness!

Anyway, the REAL spirit stirring in this drawn out matter of 10 mins. was the Lord's...Been working on "Boundaries" for a few days now, Thank YOU, Brother in Christ-CAJ. Not writing boundaries, like be succinct and to the point! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Went back over earlier reading of the 10 Laws of Boundaries and #5...remember "Short Circuit"? S-t-e-p-h-a-n-i-e-e-e-e! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

#5: The Law of Motivation...being motivated out of fear and NOT love. That was me, in the matter of 2 pages, I had found who I WAS! WHO I WAS! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> (past tense). CAJ, I'm welling up with tears of joy as I write for as much as I've been reading and "working" the book I still didn't see myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . EACH and every characteristic highlighted WAS ME! In 2 Cor 3:17 Paul writes "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there IS freedom." I have been on a spiritual trek, a renewal in Christ I never, ever felt possible, for 1 1/2 months now, waiting on the Lord to answer prayers, and one of which just occurred! I must remind myself to remain humble unto the Lord and not let the pride of life consume this revelation!

I love being stirred like that...I can't tell you ALL how important (especially for me, now that I found the root of my old natured ways) The book "Boundaries" could be to YOUR lives!!! Pick it up now at your grocers freezer, jk!

Oh, btw...W and I will be divorced within a few short weeks. I have so much to say and write and share with her that in time it will ALL pour out of me...can't wait to share MY LOVE!

God's Blessing's through Christ to EVERYONE!
<><

It's so cold here in the NE the past few days it just feels like a mid-winter! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hey, catch,

Congratulations on making it through! I think that's so awesome. How are you doing with the internet access now that your plugged in at home?

One day at a time, catch, is all it takes. It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Catch....great job....you will find that the temptations will subside as the days go by. Why you ask? For me it was getting to know what my thought process was and changing it with Gods help. You will stil have some temptations but when you reach the point of getting to know when you are vulnerable and know how to handle the situation(for me it is listening to my convictions from God). My temptation are very few now. Dr. Doug Weiss said on a radio program the other day that if you have a temptation with someone or something you should pray about it and tell your accountability partner so you are released from the temptation. He talked about a woman he did this with recently. You will learn how to stay away from the point where you are drawn in to the point of no return.

Keep up the good work and keep working the SA program and you will recover.

Love in Christ
cajunky

LadyK,

Saw your signature and had to mention, I think I memorized Where the Sidewalk Ends as a child ...

I have just recently logged back in and forgot I had that as my signature... I had no idea where I got that from. I'll have to get that. I was a Curious George fan myself.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

CAJ & Lady K,

One victory at a time...and there have been many but only through my faith in Christ!
The armor of righteousness has become who I am that I physically feel it! I put it on every day! I'm beginning to put the whole armor of God on for truth has eluded me for so long that every moment I have engaged in it I feel freedom and so much that I feel LOVE!

I've been reading in the book of Romans lately and hold onto 8:7 in particular "Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither in deed can be"--that has become my slogan as a reminder of how I was carnal in so many areas of my life.

Lady K-I'm so consumed by doing good works even in my studies-taking 2 distance learning courses and determined to succeed that I don't have time to engage in internet porn. My life is consumed with so much healthiness and with such renewal that as caj points out and has become a reality for me is that each day does get easier. Through renewing my mind i.e. reading scripture and in prayer constantly, as well as, having 2 accountability partners. Most importantly is that my growth in Christ and the intense pursuit of truth keeps my focus. I am still waiting for an email list from the HQ's of Sex addicts so to get into group.

"Boundaries" has helped me live, love and reach out like I've never done before. There are so many people and resources at my dispense that I have hedged myself and humblely submit to them all through Christ Jesus!

Let me point out a struggle and how I have dealt with it: One of my accountability partners pointed out an area I have struggled with many times before with a healthy, biblically based solution. The issue: "checking out" God's children, namely women and looking at them with a carnal mind and admiring them in the flesh. Since he imparted this "solution" I have engrained it in me. here goes: There are so many spritual wars surrounding these children of God that with every eye and tongue of the "culprit" both are condemned, and the act does nothing less then erode at the kingdom of God and exalt the prince of this world and his kingdom. Initially I chuckled inside and found myself still "checking out"...he even pointed out my sinful nature to me about a month ago as he saw me catching the eyes of a woman. From that moment on I have not only made a conscious effort to "renew my mind" in this area of my life but every time I see a flower of God I treat her with the respect and love that I know only Christ would see fit. I even go so far as to pray for the spiritual wars that surround her to cease.

Romans 8:28...And WE know...

God's BLessings to all through Christ Jesus <><