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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2 |
My husband had a brief affair with his secretary. I found out about it and confronted him. He initially said our marriage was hopeless. Then the next day I guess he thought about the ramifications of it and said he wanted to work on it for the sake of the kids. We have 2 children and one on the way. Ages 2,5 and due in Nov. The OW agreed to look for another job, but is still there every day. Do I kick him out? Do I try to work on the marriage and hope we get our love back? Will he ever get over the 'feelings' he has for this OW? What do I do?
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 64
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Joined: Aug 1999
Posts: 64 |
Dear Nowwhat,<BR>Thank your lucky stars that your h wants to work on the marriage. Most of us here are not that fortunate. Find yourselves a good marriage counselor, read everything from marriage builders, get the book Surviving an Affair, and post here when you need encouragement. I truly believe that marriages can be made stronger after an affair if both partners want that. Don't give up now.This won't be easy but with knowledge and time you can do this.
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,758 |
Noel's right. My advice would be to do what you have been doing, only better. Odviously you've been doing what was right, or he wouldn't want to try and work on the marriage?<P>Plan A for you, my friend! No lovebusters! <P>God Bless.
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 769
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 769 |
Ditto here...read the book and in the meantime everything that is on this site in the infidelity department. Not just the forum area. Tons of information here.<P>No love busters, pray and we'll pray with you.<P>Dig deep for all the love you have. Your going to need it but, it will be worth it in the end. In the meantime know we are here for you.<P><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 184
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 184 |
Noel is right...follow her advise.<P>And let me ask.....why the h*ll do they do this crap when we are pregnant and vulnerable?<P>------------------<BR>Joan
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 89
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Joined: Jun 1999
Posts: 89 |
NW,<P>Fire that secretary. He doesn't need her there that bad!<P>Dragonfly
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 2 |
Thanks for your advice everyone, he still professes to have feelings for this woman and doesn't know if he'll ever get our love back. Is this part of the process or am I hoping for nothing?
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388 |
nowwhat<BR>Yes it is part of the process. Don't lose patience. My H told me early on that he wished he could just turn off his feelings for the OW. It is a slow process but there are many success stories here. <BR>Kat1 has a wonderful success story. I will try to find it for you.<BR>You can persevere. Count all the things you have going for you. Your H wants to go forward with you. This is a real bonus. <BR>i know it is scary now. Read everything you can on this site. Keep posting.<BR>I wish I had found this forum earlier. There are so many wonderful people here.<BR>You will get through this. Learn all that you can. You are hoping for everything - for all the right reasons!!!!
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 3,247 |
Listen to everyone. They're right. You can make this work. You can make it better. The advice here is good. Take in one day, one minute at a time and start Plan A. Just be ready for a really bumpy ride. Wishing you luck and love....<P>Lori
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 2,388 |
I found Kat's story and brought it to the top. Every one should read of this lady's courage!!!
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