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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 3 |
About a year ago my wife was rapped by a close personal friend. I have tried so hard to be there for her but nothing that I do is good enough. She says she just wants me to be there for her. I try but nothing ever gets accomplished, due to a lack of commitment on my part. It's like I try for a while and start to do good and slack off. She forgives me and I do good for a while and slack off again. Over and over this cycle progresses until she just doesn't trust me any more. Each time I promiss to do what she needs: affection, trustworthy, sympethetic, compassionate, loving. We are starting to loose it. <BR>My life with her is so important to me. I need her totaly.
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 3
Junior Member
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OP
Junior Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 3 |
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 236
Member
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Member
Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 236 |
Dear Webring84,<P>I know how hard this must be for you. Fortunately there are support groups for the partners of sexual assult victims.<P>This link is to a Yahoo online club for partners, and it has a lot of good people, information and great advice. Sometimes the best thing it offers is a forum to vent your frustrations and share your feelings, without dumping all that on your wife.<BR> <A HREF="http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/partnersofsurvivors" TARGET=_blank>http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/partnersofsurvivors</A> <P>I strongly recommend counselling for you and for your wife. It's hard work but you obviously both love each other so have faith.<P>Good luck and God bless.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 262
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Member
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 262 |
I'm sorry to hear this story. <P>Yes she need you but she (and you, too) need some counseling. There are numerous agencies which specialize in counseling rape victims. A local church or counseling agency could make a referal for you to one of these organizations. Don't delay. Please!
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 17 |
Hi Web, I too was raped. I was only 15yo at the time, and hadn't met my H yet and it took many years for me to trust anyone again. I was married at 21yo and when I shared this information with my H, he was very comforting and helpful, but by this point, I was already nearing the point of healing over this rape and knew that at least if I needed him, my H would be there for me. It's a tough battle to fight, but you must hang in there and seek counsel to help your wife through her healing and you too need healing as well. Don't try too hard to "be there" for her. Listen with your heart and when she needs you she will, hopefully, tell you. Those times that she does not speak up, rely on God to help you discern her needs.<BR>My hope and prayers are with you
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