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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 15
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mrsme Offline OP
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 15
I have a question for all of you. I have to see one of my husband's ex-girlfrieds quite often. She's related into the family in a weird way - let me explain. She dated my husband from the end of '93 to the end of '95, she even moved out to live with him in Hawaii (he was in the military) for a year of their relationship. I know all about their relationship and that makes me more comfortable. He was only with her for the time she lived out there and he didn't want her to come out there in the first place. He knew the relationship wasn't going to last once she was out there for a few months. She ended up leaving after 11 months because of no $$ and he broke up with her after that. She was angry and hurt and he was relieved. Anyway, during that time her brother started going out with my husbands sister. They ended up getting married and now when my husbands sister has any family event (they have 3 kids - lots of birthdays & holidays) "she" is there. The first few times it bothered me very much to see her, but it's been over 3 years now since that first time. We recently got married (back in April) so there in lies even more comfort considering the situation. Thing is, her and I always end up talking at these things and she doesn't seem like too bad of a person to me. I know what things about her bothered my husband and she IS 4 1/2 years older than us (my husband and I are only 2 months apart in age), so I can see why their priorities didn't mesh. She lives in the town I live in and we saw her last weekend saturday on accident. We started talking again and she said "I should get your number." I told her it was in the phone book so she could call if she wanted. I really don't hold any grudges against her, it was all so long ago. I don't worry about my husband feeling anything for her at all. I asked him what he would think if her and I were friends and he was honest and said it would probably feel a little weird but whatever I wanted was fine. She has 2 kids so it's not like we'd be best buds or anything, but I'd like to get some peoples opinions on if you think it's ok to be friends with her or if it's just 'too' weird. Any opinions would be appreciated!

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,294
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,294
Well I don't think I would do it...you seem uncomfortable with it, and so does your H.<P>Is she still married?<P>I dunno, I don't think I'd want her around my H in case it rekindled fond memories that may lead to more stuff.<P>If you don't really need her in your life, I say, let it go.

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 562
Hi mrsme. I have to agree with nina it sounds as though you feel a bit uncomfortable. My take on the situation is leave well enough alone. It's okay to be cordial to her if you must associate with her at family gatherings but other than that leave it alone. We've seen all too many times here how some of these situations got started, best friends, co-workers, etc. If you and h have a good relationship don't put it at risk by befriending his ex. Good Luck.<BR>C

Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 104
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 104
I agree. It does not make too much sense, even if she is a great person, to build a relationship that might not have been otherwise.<P>There is too much history between her and your husband. You may be unknowingly presenting a future problem.<P>Y


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