I saw my Dr. today, and will be seeing another Dr. for the pain in my back and the left arm and shoulder that is in pain. The Dr. and I talked of the injury, and asked me if this topic ever came up of sueing the X. I said yes, through First STep, it was discussed. I really didn't want to sue my X, if I am labeled permanently injured the rest of my life. Seems that I am screwed anyway I turn or go forth with my life. He can move on forward, find a new job, cause he has worked as a furnace man all his life. Has a business that we started and I ran, and I have been JUST his wife and the mother of our children. I have NOTHING to show. Also, if I were to marry in the future, who would want a woman classified as disabled. This has never occurred to my X. See, he doesn't have the pain, and doesn't feel what I have to feel everyday. And the pain the Dr. felt today, the spasms were really bad. I told her I haven't slept well in about a week. She understood with the manipulation she did on my shoulder and neck. Anyways, we got into a little discussion as she proceeded with the EMG testing on my arms and neck. Discovered that I have the start of carpal tunnel on my right wrist. That is the arm that was injured back in 1990, and I had the 3 surgeries on the arm, and that is the arm that SNL decided to get physical with me.

We talked and I cried again. I said, why does it come down to the betrayed has to get mean, has to get tough, has to be the one to set boundaries, and maybe has to be the one who is going to tell SNL that I have to sue him? Why doesn't he forthrightly say, yes he injured me, and will cover all my medical expenses. As medicaid will end in the middle of February. When youngest son turns 18. He didn't even pay the Dr. all the money that he said he would for the shoulder surgery. So therefore, I have bad credit. Which if I sue X-husband, that will come up to, and the rest of the medical bills to get my credit cleared.

What SNL does, is wait and wait for the medical bills for years, and then goes for settling with the companies. Yes, they take a much lower amount of money. But in the meantime, credit is screwed. SNL has bad credit, and I did have good credit.

Sometimes, my life seems to be a nightmare. Wishing that I could just wake up and it all would be better.

Anyways, could some of you give me advice on how you would feel, would you sue, and the pros and cons. Yes, SNL has told me that if I don't cooperate with him, I will bear the consequences. A hold he has over me. Not fair, but I am the betrayed spouse.

Just asking for help on this one. Would be nice if one day I could live my own life. And not have to be under SNL's power still.

Faith,

I'm relatively new here and don't know your story with SNL, but I am getting the impression he is a bit of a low-life scum-bag already. You are clearly in a different league than him.

My advice to you is:

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• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Learn from your past in terms of the types of people that you form intimate relationships with.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Don't waste your time on him any more. He is truly not worth another second of your thought. Life is too short to spend time worrying about people like this.</font></li>
• <font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Find yourself a support group for battered women so you can being to heal.</font></li>

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Sueing him will continue to give him power over you. Show him you are so much better than that. Show him compassion. Pity his sorry little a**. He is a troubled man.

Mike

You may have to go after him Faith, if you can't reach a settlement on these bills. I know that you really don't want to and you're afraid but I would talk to a lawyer and see what can be done.

You may be able to adjust the alimony settlement to cover monthly payments to the doctors or you may have to go further. I don't know, I'm not a lawyer and I don't know what your alimony situation is like.

Don't bring this up to SNL anymore, he apparently does not care and that lack of support is hurting you. Don't expect compassion or understanding about this, you won't find it in him. I know you'd love a sincere apology and show of empathy but you'll not find it in your x.

Talk to your lawyer and weigh the options available to you. There may be a way to handle all this without having to draw any more blood.

Notsosilent - thanks. I won't go further with this, until I have my appointment with the Dr. Xhusband did come over last night, and brought over a gallon of milk and parts to fix the downstairs toilet. I had a guy out to fix both toilets, and X paid for it. But the toilet downstairs needed new guts. So xhusband told the repair man he will put new parts in it. It seems to flush ideally. I asked x if he could bring over a gallon of milk, as I don't have money. And he said sure.

Not wanting to do this, just wanting to move ahead. Just wish he had never whipped me around with my bad arm, and dragged me to the door while he was calling me a f*cking b*tch and spitting in my face. Then after when I was home, he came over a gave me the key that I went to his house to get for the safe deposit key.

Just like peachy said, would be nice if all of this could be erased and we could just move on. The betrayed does have the difficult time of bearing the crux of the outcome. My X can and does what he wants, he makes darn good money. I did the books for all those years. Just more of the control thingy, and I just want my life back, I want to be the person that is laughing and enjoying my life more and more.

Anyways, needing to get ready for school. Have school this week and then final exams next week. Not been able to sleep very well for about the last week. And again last night. Shoulder just throbs and painful to put any pressure or pulling on that area. So there is something wrong, and hoping I get in soon to see the Dr. Tried to study last night, but I sat on the couch and just sat there. Couldn't sit in the chair to study, cause the spasms in my back were strong.

Bye for now be back later.

Faith4me,

Given your situation, I would go talk with a lawyer and find out what your option's are.

I know it is not nice to think about and do, but in the real world it happen's all the time, that is what the law is there for.