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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1
T
Junior Member
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Junior Member
T
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1
April 6th is the last hurrah. I'm hanging on to hope, she's not entertaining reconciliation. The reader's digest version of our story:

Been together 12 years, married for 10. Had kids (now age 7 and 8, extraordinary children) when we were too young. Didn't have family or friend support. Was us against the world. We struggled immensely but held on even though we NEVER got time for ourselves.

Disagreed over money and goals as a family but still managed to have very nice things due to my income. I worked she stayed home sporadically, unfulfilled in everything she did. When she did go to work she didn't like the pressure of having to contribute and drifted from job to job.

Emotional needs suffered on both parts. Infidelity (not physical as far as I know) ensued. I sought attention from another woman outside the relationship. Was terribly confused and needing attention. Felt unappreciated. She felt inferior. Got worse until she moved out.

Then, back and forth we moved out and back in 5 times trying to make it work, but never with any counseling or formal help whatseover. We failed over and over because we didn't have a plan.

This time she's been out for 6 months. She has had sex with several men and it DRIVES ME UP THE WALL with anger and jealousy because I am still SO IN LOVE with the woman I thought I would be with forever. I've dated on and off but no sex. Every time I dated I felt guilty and felt like I was cheating.

NOW I'm asking her to come back and try one more time with formal help. She says she doesn't want this "lifestyle" (a $2400 mortgage) and loves her independence (lives in a nice apartment) too much to give it up. Says she can;t be the wife I need and that I need to move on.

I still can't let go of her. I have delusions of saving my family once and for all. I just don't know how to give up.

I love her so much and miss her SO much every day of my life. I KNOW I screwed up and I know I could have done better, but I was young and confused. But I know what I did wrong. And now I want to do right by her and my family. But she won't give me a chance. She's seeing some guy and it drives me NUTS. I HATE it. I cry at night over it.

I don't want to be a divorcee, y'all. I want to be married once and for all. Is it too late? Am I wasting my time? Is there ANY WAY to save this?

I think she's "in love" with this other guy to a certain extent, but won't admit it to me.

PLEASE HELP ME.. PLEASE help US..

Thank you

Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6
T
Junior Member
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Junior Member
T
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 6
I have been down that road, sometimes the practical advice is the best, protect yourself financially and move on. I think in a way your persistance is a source of comfort but nothing more.

Joined: May 2002
Posts: 48
H
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H
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 48
Wow.. one reply... telling me to move on.. on a Marriage Builders site... geez. Thanks people. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
N
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Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 4,199
You've been on this site for a while. Have you read all the materials? Have you tried Plan A & B? How are they working for you?
If you haven't tried any of the MB concepts - why not?
If you have, sometimes people in the fog see only what they want to see. You can't make her be the wife you want her to be. You can only change you and your actions.

So, what have you done to help your position?


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