Point stands, I never had a PA in my first marriage.

jillybean36, you still out there???

lordslady said:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That means I can't even think of dating for at least 5 years???!! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What's so bad about that? I was married for almost 21 years, together for 25. He left 5.5 years ago. When you are going to school or working full-time and raising kids, when would a single parent even have time to date if they wanted to and still have time to take care of the children? I think people should wait until their kids are grown or for at least 5-10 years, whichever is longer, which for me would be another ten years from now.

Makes sense in a way, if you have small kids. One of mine is a H/S sophomore (IF she stays in school--she's in an alternative school--only has class 1/2 day, and it's "iffy" if she will stay in at all after she turns 16). The other, my son, is in his first year of college 2 hours from home.

My DD is on the go all the time with friends. I've tried to ask her to stay home, but she does what she pleases and 99% of the time it's with friends.

So I basically spend my time cleaning the house, going to work, and taking care of my dogs, cats, turtles and a fish. I'm not sure I want to do that for 5+ years before I could even consider entertaining the idea of going out with a guy.

And it's hard to think, "Okay, I'll be 39 when my DV is final. My odds of finding someone aren't exactly going to be increasing over the next few years. If I wait, I'll be almost 45. Why sit dormant, if I think I'm recovered well enough to date, just because that's the general guideline for somewho has been M for 20 years.

(But not to worry, unless someone really wonderful comes along and seeks me out after the DV, I doubt I'll date anyway. I'm not into being the pursuer.)

LL

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Elan:
<strong> I heard 1 year for every 4 years of marriage.....
and I believe it! :-) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Sooo... That would make it, what, 4 months of recovery before I can start dating again, as I was only married for a year? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I seriously do not think I'll be in any shape to date in 4 months. I'm giving myself at least a year, and even then, I'm completely comfortable in giving myself more time if I need it. But as it's been said before, go at your own pace, but just make sure you do the necessary work on yourself before getting involved in another relationship.