About 5 years ago my now ex bought golden retrievers for both our sons. When I left him 3 years ago, I was unable to take the dogs with me. Recently, I remarried and we moved to an acreage, where we have more room; altho no kennel or appropriate place for the dogs. My ex has been badgering me to take them; but we are quite hesitant as we are sometimes gone for several days and have no one to feed/care for them. Also, the boys haven't seen the dogs in 2 years and I've heard they aren't well cared for or trained at all.

Today my ex called and said one of the dogs had run away and been found by the vet clinic, who gave the dog to someone. He wants me to call this person and get the dog back and keep it. He tried to make me feel guilty for not taking the dogs. My personal feeling is to call the person and tell them to keep the dog.

My only concern in all this is my boys....they do talk about missing their dogs and wanting them. I'd appreciate some input on this?

I feel that you got these dogs with your now exH, and that makes you responsible for them; they are not old toys to be tossed away when your are done with them.

However, if you feel that you cannot provide a good, caring, loving home for these two dogs, maybe it would be best if you can see if the family with the one dog can take both. They have, presumably, been together since they were puppies, and it is cruel to split them up now.
The ideal solution, in my mind, is for you to take your dogs into your home and give them the life they deserve. If this cannot, or will not, be done by you, then I feel you owe it to them to find them one loving home for them both.

GB

With all due respect to GB, I will disagree.

You mention the dogs ar enot well cared for. Bringing strange dogs (and 2 years have gone by, they will be strange dogs), is not something to be taken lightly, especially if they are not well cared for.

Possibly having been mistreated, malnourished, whatever, and no thaving people around to take care fo them properly (you mention being gone), it doesn't seem like a good fit.

Perhaps take it upon yourself to find them a good home, and have the peace of mind.

And before anybody jumps on me that these dogs are people too, yes, I am a dog lover, I have bawled my eyeballs out when I had to put down my great dane because of stomach cancer, and he couldn't walk, and my deerhound/wolfhound cross tha thad a hip so eaten through with cancer tha tit looked like swiss cheese on the xray, yet never once moaned or whined, or complained, just licked my face, and tried to play. In fact, I think I'm tearing up now, thinking about 'em. Thanks a lot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

But when all is said and done, dogs will take the back seat to the well being and peace and safety of my family. And I would never take a dog under the guise of emotional blackmail, if I wouldn't take the dog under any other set of circumstances that were more favorable.

My ex emailed my last night to say he had gotten the dog back. I emailed back and suggested he find a good home for the dogs as we can't afford them, nor do we have time to take care of them. I realized that the only time the boys think of the dogs is after their dad has been talking to them.....in fact, they seem afraid of large dogs when they are around other ones; and I know these dogs like to jump up on people. They are father and daughter, so they haven't been together as puppies. And they are also a bad reminder of my ex to me as we did not purchase them together..... he bought the first one without my knowledge and brought it home, announcing that he had just spent $250 on the dog at a time when we really couldn't afford it. But having already brought the puppy into our home, what could I do? He then bred the dog and brought the new puppy home without asking me......so both times I was responsible for pets I did not want (I'm sorry, but I'm really not a dog lover). Several times my boys came in the house crying because he was beating the dogs to make them do what he wanted and I had to comfort them. WHen I confronted him, he threatened me.

Most breed clubs have rescue organizations. You might search on the Internet for golden retriever rescue and see if there is anyone in your area who will take the dogs. I once helped a friend place a dog in rescue for a different breed, and they found a foster home immediately.

These rescue dogs are cared for, cleaned up, evaluated as far as temperament and training, given medical attention, and have careful scrutiny of potential new homes.

Thanks for that suggestion! I do care about the dogs, which is one of the reasons I don't want them. We just wouldn't be able to give them what they need. I will look into this.