Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#786473 05/13/00 05:37 PM
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 56
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 56
When did this section begin? I just noticed it today. My H produced an OC about 4 yrs ago. I agree with a previous post that there is no closure. The OC remains a constant reminder. Very painful. Peace Lover

#786474 05/13/00 06:10 PM
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,369
Peace Lover:<P>Thanks for checking in. This site has been active for just a few days. We're just getting started, but, it was important that there was a place for people in our special situation to come to for comfort, guidance and support.<P>Everyone here knows the pain of having an OC in their life. I am one.<P>My husband's XOW gave birth 8-19-99. we have no contact with the child and doubt we will. We will pay support for the next twenty years, but, until we are forced having to deal with the child directly, we are trying to repair our marriage and our lives the best way we know how.<P>We have opted for not telling our grown adult children about the OC as the XOW lives 1800 miles away and wants no contact with us either. All she wants is the cash.<P>It's our secret, I guess. Not something we talk about much anymore since March 2000, since court. We are sick of talking about it and are just looking forward and trying to put this behind us.<P>I obsess over it too much and my husband doesn't completely know the depth of my feelings because he has such remorse and is also in a lot of pain. We're probably trying to protect each other from the fallout by trying to live our lives as we did before he indescretion. <P>Dealing from the pain of having the OC in existance is so difficult for me. Just knowing there's a child out there that should have been mine is something I struggle with daily, hourly. I hear it gets better with time. <BR>I start thinking about it at the most inopportune times-when everything is going well and we are happy. <BR>I think I must personally be going through some form of post traumatic stress, now that I have time to absorb the details, where before I was just putting out fires.<P>Since you are a veteran of four years, I would like to hear your story and find out what your marriage is like now, if you see the OC, to what degree the involvement and how YOU personally feel about everything now at this time. Are you glad you stayed in your marriage? Was/is your husband remorseful and trying to make amends? If there is no contact, does he wish there was? Does he want to see the OC and wonder about it?<P>Please post and let us know how you are coping and what choices you have made and any advice would be appreciated.<P>Blessings<P>catnip =^^=

#786475 05/14/00 01:44 AM
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Mar 1999
Posts: 2,430
Welcome! How have you coped? Is there contact? <P>Our OC is just 19 months, no visitation, but we are open to visitation when she's school-aged.


Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 1,079 guests, and 45 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya, Reyna98, Nofoguy
71,829 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5